"Lissa," Kiarra interrupted us. "I know you loved Franklin. I was with him when he died. He was eighty-three."
I drew in a sharp breath and my mouth was suddenly dry. Frank lived twenty years after I disappeared.
"Sixty years ago, Belen came to Merrill and me," Kiarra went on. I was now staring at her, the pain for Franklin settling in my heart. "Belen said it was time for Franklin and Jeff to be reborn. Jeffrey was one of Merrill's vampire children that he lost before he met you," Kiarra explained. "Belen gave us a choice, Merrill and me. He said both could be reborn to us, as our natural children, or born to others. That decision was an easy one to make. They came to us, as twins. Neither remembers their former lives, although that has a great deal to do with who and what they are, now." Kiarra blew out a sigh. I chewed my lower lip, my heart beating painfully in my chest. Fox squeezed my hand.
"Jeff, before Merrill made him vampire in the early 1900s, was a medical student. He contracted the deadly influenza sweeping the U.S. at the time. Merrill turned him before he died. Jeff is the only vampire born vampire. And he now has several medical degrees and does charity work in that field, in addition to being a healer for the Saa Thalarr."
"And he doesn't remember," I muttered, staring at my hand that was gripped tightly by both of Fox's.
"No. Franklin has architecture and engineering degrees, this time," a smile lit Kiarra's face. She was speaking of her children, and proud of them, as any mother might be. "He is also a healer for us, but he could build a house or a bridge or a skyscraper if he wanted. He also knows his way around a kitchen, but one of his mates, Shane, is a better cook than any of us. If Shane makes barbecue, Merrill is first in line."
"One of his mates?" I watched Kiarra closely.
"Both are mated to Tomas."
"Is Frank happy? This time?" I sniffled, I couldn't help it. My Frank was gone. I didn't get to say goodbye to him, either.
"Lissa, Shane is Greg, reborn. Conner, my half-sister says so. And as she's the Guardian, she would know. They're all happy."
"We'll explain about the Guardian some other time," Grace said gently. Fox Pulled in a box of tissues and handed it to me. I wiped tears away.
"I gave information to Franklin and Greg, before." Griffin folded into the library, accompanied by Merrill and Adam. Kiarra, Grace and Devin folded away. Fox patted my hand, gave me a watery smile—she was nearly in tears, and folded away.
"What the f**k do you want?" I muttered at Griffin. I wasn't speaking to Merrill.
Chapter 9
"I told Franklin and Greg, more than three hundred years ago, that things would come out better this way, if they refused to allow Merrill to make the turn," Griffin sighed. "Franklin asked back then, so I answered. I said their lives would be all right—but only all right, if they became vampire. But if they lived their lives and waited for rebirth, then things would be better."
"You did this." I refused to look at Griffin. He'd manipulated so many things, including my death. "But you didn't see me coming back, did you?" I wasn't sure how I knew it, but I did.
"No. You were dead, Lissa. Belen says it. The ones above him say it. Some of them know why you're here now, but they had no hand in making it happen."
"They should have left me dead," I muttered, wiping dampness from my cheeks. My pile of used tissues was growing.
"Belen says I have to make this next admission to you, because what I did—what Merrill and I did, was wrong. You already despise us, and this will only make things worse," Griffin raked fingers through thick, light-brown hair. His hazel eyes darted in my direction—once. Whatever he was about to say—he was ashamed of it. Merrill, too, had arms crossed over his chest and was staring at his shoes.
"I told Merrill, after Wlodek asked him to teach you years ago," Griffin began, "that he—Merrill—would have a M'Fiyah with you." My breath stopped.
"I was obsessed with Kiarra, Lissa," Merrill's voice was rough and he still refused to meet my gaze. Just as well, I was gawping like a fool. "I didn't want anything to interfere with my love for Kiarra," Merrill continued. "So I asked Griffin to destroy the M'Fiyah with you. In his defense, he asked me three times if that was what I wanted. I still insisted. He destroyed the M'Fiyah. Without my seeing you, without our consulting you, or doing anything to help you through it afterward. We allowed that pain to live in you, Lissa. This is our punishment, for doing that. Belen won't allow the destruction of a M'Fiyah, or even the muting of one, any longer, unless both parties agree." Well, now I knew why Devin had explained it earlier.
"This is your punishment? Admitting it now?" I was on my feet and stifling a sob. "Fuck both of you. And don't ever say that you care about me. Ever. That's the biggest lie, and you're not supposed to be able to lie." I misted away.
* * *
I learned, after misting there, that the cliffs of Dover were now a very protected place, and one might see them best from a hoverboat in the sea. Transportation had certainly changed—I saw that quickly. I was glad I'd kept my credit chip necklace on—that's how I paid to get aboard the tourist boat. Now I stood at the rail, staring at the white cliffs in the distance and wiping away tears. I'd cared about Merrill once—now I knew why. And he'd sabotaged it, repeatedly. He and Griffin, together, had done terrible harm to me. One of them refused me, sight unseen, and the other manipulated my birth and death. How was I supposed to forgive that? How?
It has become my philosophy, over the years, that anger is a heavy burden, and it is better to let it go than carry it around. Perhaps I'd forgiven too much through my life, but I preferred that to the alternative. Until now, there was only one person who would never have my forgiveness, and that person was Howard Graham. Merrill and Griffin had just joined him.
"Your father and your intended mate never thought things might come to this." He shone beside me. And Power? I'd never felt so much of it. "One of them never expected you to live and remember, the other never thought to admit his deed. Now you know of both. What you do with that information is your choice. I am Belen," he smiled down at me.
He was tall. And in corporeal form, he had pale hair and blinding white eyes. I found myself staring at Belen of the Nameless Ones.
"Intended mate," I huffed. Merrill made a choice, shoving me in Gavin's direction. And then he'd never interfered, when I was beaten by the Council or when I suffered from Gavin's bouts of anger. No, Gavin hadn't realized how much that anger had cost me—until he'd caused me to break on a September night at Camp David. Now, he didn't remember me or anything we'd had between us.