What was I supposed to do? There wasn't a soul out there I trusted; nobody I felt comfortable going to for help or reassurance. It was as if everything had been taken from me when my life ended. Only somebody, somewhere, had decided that wasn't the end of Lissa—it was just the end of Lissa for everybody else. If I'd known who was responsible for all this, I would have gone straight to them and given them hell for putting me through it.
* * *
"I exerted Power and it had no effect," Graegar was staring in confusion at his father and his Protector. Dragon and Grace, Co-Firsts among the Saa Thalarr, were also very concerned. If the Larentii held no power over Lissa and none could find her by Looking, could anyone control her and what had she become?
"Lissa will not harm anyone except those who deserve it," Karzac growled. He imagined finding Lissa would be easy enough; the roof was her refuge, as often as not. "She's probably on the roof," he sighed aloud. "Although I cannot decide whether it would be a good thing to disturb her or not. The news that none from her past remember her was a cruel blow."
"I shouldn't have said anything," Radomir rumbled.
"She'd find out eventually," Devin hugged her vampire mate.
"It could have waited until she was better prepared," Radomir said. "She was always afraid to say things around me, because she was frightened that I carried everything she said straight to Wlodek."
"She was the same with me." Charles folded in and sat down at the island. Devin Pulled a plate to the table, causing it to slide in front of Charles. Flatware and a glass followed. "I always wanted her to tell me how she was feeling—I don't think Wlodek would have asked me personal questions unless it was important. She never cracked, though. I tried to be her friend, but she was too afraid to have any friends." Charles helped himself to pot roast.
"Father made a mistake, not telling her about Greg." Radomir picked up his plate and carried it to the sink.
"Who is Greg?" Justin asked.
"Greg was Franklin's mate, years ago," Charles said. "He died of pneumonia—a complication of the cancer he had. Lissa loved Franklin and Greg if she ever loved anybody. Neither Wlodek nor Merrill informed her of Greg's hospitalization or death. They left her in the U.S. because she was trying to track Xenides and some of his followers. He'd turned many Dark Elemaiya who were shapeshifters, mindspeakers and misters, and he intended to destroy everything, with their help and the help of others. Lissa stopped all that. She was the one who captured Rahim Alif. Not the FBI or Homeland Security, as everyone claimed." Charles dipped into his food. He loved to eat and seldom had blood now, though the vampire side of him was still intact.
"The terrorist? That Rahim Alif?" Grace asked.
"Yes. Lissa captured him—recognized him by his scent. You won't ever fool Lissa; she never forgets what you smell like. She scents your blood, somehow."
"Yeah, we got that already," Mack said. "She remembered both of us because she saw us when we were little." He pointed between himself and Justin.
"Where is she now?" Charles asked.
"Probably on the roof," Karzac tossed his napkin on the island. The Larentii had sat down at the island after enlarging the seats to fit their height and were listening to the conversation.
"She always liked to get on the roof," Charles agreed. "Used to sit on Merrill's roof all the time."
"I'm going to the roof to find her," Karzac said.
"I'll come with you," Charles picked up his plate and glass of wine.
"I will come," Radomir said. All three of them folded to the roof.
* * *
If I thought I was going to be alone to cry my eyes out, I was proven wrong after ten minutes.
"Lissa, want something to eat?" Charles plopped down beside me and held out a forkful of pot roast.
"I'm not hungry." I wiped my eyes on a sleeve. No doubt, I looked like crap, but Charles was ignoring that. "It's nice to see you, Charles." I would have hugged him, but he was eating.
"Lissa, you are underweight right now. Are you going to force me to stand over you at mealtimes?" Karzac sat down on my other side.
"That wouldn't be uncomfortable or anything," I mumbled against my knees. I'd let my forehead drop to the tops of my knees so Charles, Karzac and Radomir wouldn't see my blotchy face. Radomir had come, too and settled down next to Charles.
"We can make arrangements for you to meet with Flavio, Gavin and Anthony," Radomir offered. "Just to see whether your presence sparks a memory in them."
"And if it doesn't? That sounds like the most awkward thing ever." I was depressed and couldn't shake it off. I wasn't prepared for Gavin's stone face if he didn't remember me or our time together.
"We can meet in Flavio's study—he took Wlodek's manor after my sire gave up his position as Head of the Council. He had no need of it after coming to the Saa Thalarr. I can convince Flavio to bring Gavin and Anthony in, and I can ask some of the others to come—those who are now Saa Thalarr," Radomir offered, his dark eyes concerned. He wanted me to agree. I felt uncomfortable about the whole thing.
"Gavin and Anthony still remember all of those who became Saa Thalarr," Charles grinned. "They just don't know about Flavio and me. Flavio helped the Saa Thalarr in the past, so he was given blood as payment. He walks in daylight, now. He can fold space too, but only on Earth—he isn't allowed to go off-planet. I'm a Spawn Hunter for the Saa Thalarr, but that doesn't interfere with my duties as Flavio's Chief of Staff."
"This may work, Lissa—we can introduce you to Gavin and Anthony as a friend and if nothing happens, then we'll know for certain," Radomir sighed.
"And it won't be disappointing in the least when they don't recognize me," I muttered. "I'm not sure I can handle that."
"Lissa, you'll want to know, eventually. And this will be your chance to make a decision—on whether you want Gavin back in your life. Come, this could work. And even if they do not recognize you, at least you can build a relationship with them if that is what you want." Karzac rubbed my back gently.
"Fine," I huffed.
"I'll set it up for tomorrow night," Radomir said. "I know Flavio isn't doing anything other than slavedriving, and Gavin and Tony recently returned from the states."
"No pressure," I sighed.
Karzac, Charles and Radomir eventually convinced me to go back to the kitchen. My plate was still sitting at the island and someone had used Power to keep it warm for me. Karzac sat with me, chatting while I ate as much as I could. Charles and Radomir had gone off to visit Flavio to set up the gathering they planned. Karzac told me all about current events on Refizan.