My foot trembles as I reach it forward, ready to get down.
Rain starts to come down a little more and I feel it against the top of my head; a few drops land on my cheek.
“You walk away with me now,” Onika says from next to me. “And you can stay on this earth. You can be stronger than you imagined. You will have everything.”
I watch her. The rain is pelting her now, and slowly the tan begins to run, rivers of flesh melting off her face. She doesn’t seem to notice, but the gray underneath is showing through. Cracked, broken. Dead.
The sound of shoes slapping pavement breaks my thoughts. It’s raining hard now, but I can see a shape running up the bridge toward us. The blond hair is unmistakable. Monroe.
There is a growl next to me, but when I look over Onika is gone. Still across from me, Mercy and Sarah stand, holding out their arms and calling to me.
“Charlotte!” Monroe yells over the pounding rain. “Are you okay, sweetheart?”
“No,” I say. “I’m not.”
Mercy beckons me to her. Sarah starts to cry and Mercy hugs her to her chest. They’re both soaking wet. “Please,” Mercy begs.
And then Monroe is in front of me, and I trust that he’s real. I trust him. His hair is matted down and wet, and he’s out of breath from running. “Wow,” he says. “Your makeup is gone. It’s just you now.”
I look over to Mercy and Sarah, and I almost don’t ask. But I know I have to, even though I can’t stand to lose them again. “Monroe, do you see them?” My lip quivers as I gesture toward them.
Monroe’s eyes widen, as if he knows what’s happened. He glances around quickly. “There’s no one else here,” he whispers. “It’s only us on the bridge.”
I sway with sobs and as I look at Mercy and Sarah, at the people I love, they dissolve into rain and it’s only Onika standing there. She sighs. “It could be real,” she says. “I could make it happen. I mean, you wouldn’t have really wanted them to see you like this, would you?”
“Don’t believe anything Onika tells you,” Monroe says, coming closer.
“She showed me Mercy and Sarah,” I say with a whimper. “They were here.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “They weren’t.”
“Is it true that if I get down from here, they’ll remember me?”
“It may be true, but you won’t be you anymore, Charlotte. You’ll be a monster.” Monroe lowers his head, but his eyes still stare at me with determination. “It’s your time to go. That’s why I’m here. To witness. Don’t step down from that railing.”
“I know what he’s going to say,” I hear. I look over and Onika is next to me again, a sinister smile on her broken face. “You’re going to love this part,” she says, nodding her chin toward Monroe.
“Jump,” he says. My heart stops.
“Jump,” Onika mimics. Then she hops down from the railing and goes to him. Monroe can’t see her. He’s staring at me.
Onika walks, running her gloved finger over his chest as she walks behind him. “He really is still handsome,” she says. She rubs his shoulders, even hugs him. “You have no idea,” she calls over to me playfully, “how much he and I loved each other. Spent every second together.” She walks in front of him, traces her finger across his lips. He stares through her, at me.
“Why don’t you let him see you?” I ask her.
“Why should he?” she hisses, turning back to me. “He wanted me gone. He doesn’t deserve to see me.”
“Charlotte,” Monroe calls. “Don’t talk to her. Don’t listen to her. Please, honey. You have to go before it’s too late.”
“‘Honey’?” Onika turns to glare at him. “Isn’t that endearing?”
“I don’t want to be forgotten,” I say to Monroe, ignoring Onika as she starts to circle him. “I want them to know how much I loved them.”
Monroe nods. “No one can remember but a Seer. And I know it hurts. I’m so sorry. But if you step off that railing, you’ll be chained to this earth, slowly rotting. You don’t want that. Go into the light.”
“Funny,” Onika laughs. “And what if there’s nothing there, Charlotte? What if he really just wants to get rid of you?”
But I think of Warren, and how I was with him in the end. How much I loved him, not as myself, but as the light. And I know there’s something beyond me. And I know it’s good.
Onika stomps back over toward me. “I’m getting tired of this game,” she says, and waves her hand. “Let’s go.”
But I don’t move. Instead I hold on to the cable and wait for the next pain to hit me. I close my eyes.
In the distance, above the sound of the rain, I hear something familiar. It’s the sound of a motorcycle. I open my eyes and look down the bridge.
“Harlin called me,” Monroe says. “He was looking for you.”
“He didn’t forget me?”
“Not yet.”
I watch in anticipation as Harlin’s bike comes up the high point of the bridge and nearly spins out on the wet pavement as he sees me. His boots hit the concrete and he stops, his eyes wide underneath his helmet.
I’m balanced on the railing of a bridge, but I’m staring at him, overflowing with emotion.
He takes off his helmet, stumbling off his bike as he lays it on the ground next to him. He drops his helmet as he stares at me.
And I remember that I’m no longer hidden. My face is golden, all of me, really. I can’t decide what he’s seeing—if it’s brilliant or horrible.
“He is handsome,” I hear. Onika is sitting on the railing, picking at the leather of her gloves. The rain doesn’t seem to touch her anymore. “It’d be a shame to lose him,” she adds. “Lose that cute little apartment in the Pearl. The one with the painting studio.”
I watch as Harlin comes closer to me. His boots are dragging on the ground, like he can’t believe what he’s seeing. “Charlotte?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I nod. “It’s me.”
“Baby, what’s happened to you?”
I shrug. “This is it, Harlin. This is my secret. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry,” he repeats. “My God, you’re so beautiful.” My sense of loss overwhelms me, and I sway, almost stepping down. But I fight it and hold on to the cable.