But a force rippled through me, making me shiver, and then it passed. It was gone. The pain was gone. I had become SOS. I had become the client and the spy.
“Where were they going to dinner?” I asked, my voice thick. I felt suddenly cold. Emotionally and physically. I was shaking.
“I don’t know,” Christian said. He was trying to talk quietly, be comforting. But there was little he could do for me now. I needed to know. I needed to know that it wasn’t true.
I turned to Christian and our faces were close, but I didn’t feel any tingles. There were no prickles. I was numb. “Pick me up at nine,” I said.
Without another glance, I stood up, crossing my arms over my chest, and walked inside my house.
What to tell the Smitten Kittens? They’d want to know what I was going to do about Aiden. I sat on my couch, my sneakered feet on the coffee table as I tried to think of an answer.
I looked at my phone. It didn’t ring. I bit my lip, hard enough to make it hurt. Then I marched into my room, snatched my cheerleading uniform, and slid it on before grabbing my car keys and heading back to school.
The squad was waiting for me in the gym, sitting on the bleachers looking downright nauseous. I was glad they were worried about me, but it would make what I was about to say that much harder.
“Tess?” Kira asked, jumping up. Her shoes squeaked as she crossed the floor. She was looking over my uniform, seemingly worried. Most of the girls were in their spandex or workout clothes. I was in complete uniform, ponytail, and ribbons. It helped me feel better. I felt stronger like this.
I waved Kira off and she stopped dead in front of me. Normally, I would have smiled. Instead, I closed my eyes. “I quit SOS,” I said quietly.
“No!” Izzie yelled, her shout echoing through the gymnasium as she began to cry.
“Chill out, Iz,” Leona said. I looked at her. She nodded at me.
“I’m sorry, girls. I just… can’t do it anymore. Every day, every boy, all I think is, ‘Is he cheating?’ Then the one person I should have been sure about…” I didn’t finish the sentence. I still didn’t want to believe it was true about Aiden. The warning signs had all been there. I just chose to ignore them. There was only one more thing to do, and then I was done with the spying business. Forever.
“It’ll be okay,” Kira said to me, her blue eyes filled with tears. “Maybe—”
“I just quit,” I said again, feeling the impact of my words. “It’s over. I can’t take the lying, the cheating, the broken hearts….” I sniffled. Corn bread muffin! I was going to cry too.
Instead, I cleared my throat. “I can’t cheer this weekend.” I stepped up to Kira, putting my hands on the shoulders of her spandex top, staring seriously into her face. “K, you’re lead until I get back.”
She gasped. Leona growled.
The worry left Kira’s face, and she jumped up and down, clapping. It sort of warmed my heart. But only for a second, because I knew I was lying. SOS might be over, but there was one more mission. Without the squad. I dropped my head, backing away.
“I’ll see you later,” I said quietly, moving toward the double doors.
“Tessa,” Leona called out. I turned back to look at her. “Be careful,” she said.
We stared at each other. Then I smiled like a true Smitten Kitten and left to spy on my sweetie. Or at least, the boy that used to be my sweetie.
Christian’s eyes widened as I got in his car, still in uniform. He had gone to the trouble of putting on a fitted black sweater and black pants. There was even a beanie on his console.
“You’re … you’re spying in that?” he asked, sounding unsure.
“Yep. I draw my strength from the skirt.”
He laughed, but when I didn’t, he turned back to the street. Had I cracked? Possibly. But it didn’t matter. After this, everything I ever was could be wrecked. What difference would it make if I were wearing a cheerleading uniform?
“Do you have gear to set up?” Christian asked as he pulled his Honda into the street.
“Don’t need it.” Wow. I sounded pretty tough—like, monotone tough. Christian looked a little scared, but I was anxious. Numb, yet anxious.
“Tess—”
“I’m not recording anything,” I said. “This isn’t an assignment. I just need to know, okay? For myself.” My eyes stung, and when I looked at him, he met my gaze, looking sorry. It was nice of him to feel so bad for me. He looked guilty, even.
I turned toward the passenger window, feeling dread slowly creep in as I stared out over the darkened streets. Aiden and Chloe. Let it not be true. By Cleopatra’s crown! Let it be a lie.
Rolling down the window, I put my face out into the wind. I could remember Aiden at the recycling speech when I was a freshman. He presented the reasons I should go out with him. And his number one was, “Because she lights up my life with her own brand of sunshine.” It was even listed on the flowchart behind him.
Then he hopped down off the stage and walked across the auditorium straight to me. I just about died. People were calling out, cheering, laughing.
But rather than saying anything, Aiden just dropped down in the seat next to me and stared straight ahead, as if it was the most normal place for him to be. Stunned, I looked at the side of his face, deciding that it was not only adorable but sweet, too.
I’d turned to the stage and nestled back in my seat, shoulder to shoulder with Aiden Wilder. The rest of the school stopped watching us and looked up at Principal Pelli, who was still standing there, sort of shocked.
Aiden leaned his head sideways toward me, still staring forward. “Is that a yes?” he’d whispered.
I bit on my lip, glancing down as he held his hand out to me. Well, if that wasn’t strawberry smoothie, then I didn’t know what was. I took his hand—of course I did. And since then, I hadn’t let go. So why did he? Why did Aiden let me go?
I sniffled.
“Tessa?” Christian asked. “We’ll just wait at his house, okay? We don’t need to go driving all over town or anything.” He put his hand tentatively on my knee.
I was too sick at heart to push it away. Aiden out to dinner with another girl. I wondered if he’d ever done it before. Put food in his mouth alone with another girl.
I wanted him back. I wanted my Aiden back. My bottom lip quivered and I bit on it, trying to keep it steady.
After a long minute, Christian took his fingers off my body and put them back where they belonged. On the steering wheel. He parked down the street from Aiden’s house and cut the engine.