“Oh, hi,” Realm says, sounding surprised. He offers his hand and James takes it. “Michael Realm,” Realm says.
“James Murphy.”
The smile abruptly falls from Realm’s face, and I see the color that was just there drain away. “Nice to meet you,” he practically whispers, and takes a step back. He shoots a dark look at me.
“Come in.” He pushes the door open and motions for us to enter. James thanks him, and I can’t help but see the small bit of satisfaction in his expression at Realm’s discomfort.
We stand around the entry as Realm follows us in and then bolts the door. The house is more like a cabin with exposed wooden beams and a rustic decor. It doesn’t strike me as something Realm would be into, but then I don’t really know what he was like before The Program. Neither does he.
“So how’ve you been, Sloane?” he asks, checking me over.
“Weird,” I say. “Everything has been a little weird for me. You?”
“Oh, I’m just peachy.”
Realm leads us into the living room, and I sit on the couch while James takes a chair near the fireplace. Realm collapses next to me, wrapping me in a hug once again. “God, I’ve missed you,” he says. “And I like the hair.”
“You said not to change it.”
“Well, I was wrong. You look great. Healthy, too.” He glances at James, who is pretending to be fascinated by a painting of eagles on the wall. “So,” Realm says, dropping his arms in front of him and settling into the cushions. “How do you two know each other?”
“We’re not dating, if that’s what you’re really asking,” James says evenly.
Realm smiles. “I’m not asking that.”
James nods. “Fair enough.”
There’s a small sting to my self-esteem as James quickly dismisses our relationship, but I ignore it and touch Realm’s arm to draw his attention. “We’re here because I need your help,” I say.
“I’d do anything for you.”
At that second, an odd sensation comes over me and I pause, trying to place it. It’s not romantic, almost cautious . . . But it’s gone before I can finish the thought. Like an emotional déjà vu.
I reach into my back pocket and take out the picture, giving it to Realm. When he sees it he sucks in a harsh breath. “Where did you get this?” he asks immediately.
“I found it. It was strange. I was home, and then all of a sudden I had this flash of a memory, a memory from before. I saw myself putting this picture into a slit in my mattress. That’s my brother,” I say, pointing to Brady’s face. “And that’s him.” I jerk my thumb over my shoulder and hear James chuckle.
Realm’s jaw is tightly clenched, and he hands me back the photo. “And what are you asking me?” His voice is cold.
“I don’t remember her brother,” James interrupts. “I want to know how to get my memories back.”
Realm eyes him. “You can’t.”
“I don’t believe you,” James says, as if sensing something in Realm’s voice. James had said that he didn’t think we could get our memories back, but he must have changed his mind.
“Realm,” I say, trying to diffuse the tension building between him and James. “You told me in The Program that if I needed you, you’d help me. What did you mean? How did I have that memory?”
Realm intertwines his fingers with mine as he stares down at them, his hand cool. “Remember Roger?”
My stomach twists at the name. Although it’s foggy, I do remember the creepy handler. “Yeah.”
“The purple pill?”
I pause. There’s the hint of a memory, an overpowering taste of peppermint. I shiver, my thoughts jumbled as if they’ve been manipulated somehow. But there had been a pill, and I took it. “He said I could save a memory,” I murmur.
“Wait,” James speaks up. “You got to save a memory? How did that work?”
“Later,” I tell him. He scoffs, looking like he’s about to walk out.
“I told you then, Sloane.” Realm takes his hand from mine. “The memory would show up out of context, confusing you more. You shouldn’t have taken it.”
“Well, I did. Now how do I get more?”
Realm’s brown eyes look at me sadly. “You really can’t. The memories are gone. Permanently.”
“But I want to know who I was,” I say. “I want to know what happened to Brady. What happened to me.”
“You should just move on. Start over. It’s the best—”
“What is your deal?” James calls out. “Do you work for The Program or something? Who would tell someone to forget their past? We want to know, shithead. I want to know how I knew her brother.”
Realm shakes his head but doesn’t lose his cool. Instead he gets up and walks to the fridge to grab a beer. He doesn’t offer us one. After a long sip, he stares at James. “You’re kind of a dick,” Realms says.
James shrugs. “Tell me something I don’t know. And besides, you’re really not all that different from us, are you? You’ve got a real pretty scar on your neck. Do you remember how you got it?”
“I don’t want to.”
“Wouldn’t you want to know so that you don’t make the same mistakes again?”
Realm laughs, sounding bitter. “That’s the great thing, James Murphy. Some mistakes are destined to repeat themselves.” He looks at me then, and then takes another long sip of beer. “Right, Sloane?”
I’m completely thrown off by Realm’s behavior. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I say. “I’m here to find out about my brother, about my past. And I don’t know why you’re acting like this. You sent Kevin to watch over me. You offered to help.”
“To help you move on,” he says softly, his eyes weak. “Not . . . this.”
“Ah,” James says from the fireplace. “Now it makes sense. Sloane, let’s go. He’s not interested in helping. He just wanted to get in your pants.”
“Why don’t you just leave?” Realm snaps. “I don’t recall inviting you.”
James grins. “Maybe you did and don’t remember.”
Realm seems to tire of the back and forth with James, and finishes his beer before leaning against the counter and rubbing hard at his face. I can see that something is tearing him up. Something beyond James and me.