Dane broke off, and his mouth took hers. The kiss was hot and hard and wild. No control. Just raw need.
“I never want that to be you.” Dane said the words against her lips.
And she realized that her nightmare had become his.
“It won’t be,” Katherine promised as her hands rose to curl around his shoulders. “It won’t.”
His mouth was on hers. Tongue thrusting deep. She could feel the hard thrust of his arousal pushing at her. Warm. Strong. Alive.
His scent surrounded her. Fresh from the shower. The slight tang of his soap. The deeper scent that was his alone. Her fingernails sank into Dane’s shoulders.
“I need you,” Dane growled.
There was no foreplay. No finesse. She didn’t want that. Didn’t need it.
She just needed Dane.
He shoved down her jeans. She yanked open his waistband. He lifted her up. Pushed her back against the wall. Jerked her panties to the side.
Her heart was racing. Her body shuddering.
Dane stared into her eyes. “It won’t be you.”
She stared back. Saw past the fury to the fear. And it won’t be you. I won’t let it be you.
He thrust into her. Hard, strong, filling her completely. Their gazes held.
His hand slid between their bodies. Found the center of her need. Stroked.
He withdrew. Thrust back in a deep, smooth glide.
She bit her lip, trying to hold back her moan. There were no windows in the room. Only one door. But how thick were the walls? She didn’t want to cry out.
He thrust again.
Her mouth opened.
He kissed her, muffling the sound.
Again and again, he thrust. Her back hit the wall, her legs tightened around him. It was basic. It was raw.
It was life.
When the pleasure crashed over her, she lost her breath. Her body tightened, her heartbeat seemed to stop, and the climax flooded through her. Not a wave. Not a pulse. Too consuming. Too deep.
She held onto Dane as tightly as she could and just felt the power of her release sweep her away. Then he was stiffening against her. Driving deep once more. Holding her with hands that bruised, but she didn’t care. She was holding him just as tightly.
Holding on as if she never wanted to let go.
His breath rasped against her. She could hear the thunder of her heartbeat. Or was it his? Didn’t matter.
She didn’t want to let him go.
Dane kissed her once more. Light. Gentle now. Then he put his forehead against hers. “What the hell is happening? I don’t do this.” He sounded angry. “Not at the station. Never here. You make me lose control.” His forehead lifted. Her gaze found his. The emotions that she saw filling his eyes, maybe they should have scared her.
Dane swore and pulled away. “Why? Why do I want you so badly?”
She didn’t question why she wanted him any longer. She was just glad that she did. Glad that she wasn’t living in a void.
I’m alive now. I’m not a ghost.
“Fuck, I didn’t even use anything.” Shock vibrated in Dane’s words as he lowered her legs back to the floor.
Her knees were shaking. She locked her legs and pushed her heels into the hard tile. The better to hide the tremble.
She stiffened. “We don’t have to worry about kids.”
His gaze lasered in on her. “You’re on protection?”
Since she’d had zero sex in three years? Um, no. “I don’t need it. I can’t have kids. Ever.” He pulled away, and suddenly, when she’d felt lust and heat and need mere moments before, she now felt…embarrassment.
She scrambled, yanking up her jeans. Shoving her ripped panties into her pocket. Jerking on her shoes.
He fixed his clothing, but not with the same mad rush. Then his hands were on her wrists. Not hurting. Strong. Steady.
The way he usually was.
“Talk to me.”
The light was too bright. Why hadn’t she noticed that before? The light in the room was stark and bright. She should have noticed it.
“Katherine.”
Fine. He’d told her about the nightmares of his childhood and adolescence. “You know my mother abused me. My father…he wasn’t exactly in the picture.”
He nodded.
“I had a dozen broken bones by the time I was ten. Child Protective Services took me away from her, but they always sent me back.” Why? She’d preferred the foster homes. Preferred anything to her mother. “She was an addict. She’d say she was clean, and maybe she would be for a little while.” It had never lasted. Never. “One month, two, then she’d be using again.”
She hated the bright light. Secrets were to be shared in the dark. Not in this stark light. They didn’t need to be shared when she could still feel Dane inside her. Could smell the faint scent of sex.
She wanted to think about the pleasure he’d given her.
Not about the pain of the past.
There’s no escaping it.
So she stared into her memories and told him, “I was fifteen the last time I saw her.” She could remember it all so clearly. Would never forget. “She was high. Out of her mind. And she was the one driving the car.”
“Katherine…”
No, he’d asked. He’d hear her story.
“The cops thought she didn’t see the big rig. That’s what they all said.” But they hadn’t been in the car. “My mother pushed down the accelerator. She laughed. And she turned the wheel and she aimed for him. I could have jumped from the car.” She’d had the choice. Had the time.
He was silent. Staring down at her with a locked jaw and glinting eyes.
“But I had to try and save her.” Time had slowed down. “She was my mother.”
She could remember unhooking her seat belt. Fighting for the wheel. Shoving her foot down on the brake. But her mother had struggled against her, still laughing.
“We went through the light. The truck driver tried to swerve, but it was too late.” She shrugged, but the move was a lie. There was nothing careless about this memory. “We were both pinned in the car until the firefighters could cut us out. She died on impact.”
Her hand lifted to her stomach. “I had internal injuries.” She’d been in the hospital for so long. “The scars are faint now.” Her lips twisted. “I had a good doctor.” A team of them. “But there won’t ever be children for me.”
He pulled her into his arms. Held her tight. Did she feel a shudder run the length of his body?
Her hands pushed at his shoulders.
He wasn’t letting go. His hold tightened around her.