And only one of them had she really wanted.
Chas would never have been truly happy with her. He couldn't accept who she was...or who she'd been; there would always be that layer of judgment for what he saw as her mistake. And he was so enamored of her beauty that he wasn't able to see the rest of her-her strength, her needs...who she was behind the perfect face and form.
"Yes. Cezar's been confined in a well-guarded prison. Narcise may wish to visit him occasionally," Giordan said, looking down at her. "Since you saved his life." His eyes were warm with affection and admiration. She was reminded again of how he'd taken his time, his patience and risked his life, to woo her and unravel her layers of distrust all those years ago.
Thank God he'd forgiven her for her blindness.
"Chas is taking care of the details. Moldavi will be kept in relative comfort, but his chamber and the hallways around it will be lined with ivory, so there will be no escape," Giordan continued.
Narcise shrugged, looking at her hands. "I realized I couldn't let him be killed. Even after everything he did, I couldn't make that choice. Because death...it eliminates all hope for change. And with what's happened with Voss and Dimitri, and even Giordan and me..." She looked up. "I suppose there's always hope that something might change."
"It's interesting to think of how the concept of karma works when one is immortal," Kritanu mused. "After all, as we believe, one normally has many lifetimes to work out cause and effect, realization and change. But as an immortal being, you will have an eternity to observe this extraordinary situation and see what happens to your brother. Now that he has been given the chance to change."
Dimitri said to Narcise, "And who knows...perhaps Cezar will be helpful to you in some other way, sometime in the future."
Later, in the privacy of their chamber, Narcise huddled in the warmth of Giordan's sleek, golden body. He smoothed his hand along her hair, from the top of her head all along its length, to where it pooled next to them on the bed. His touch was comforting and familiar and she closed her eyes at the pleasure, wondering if she ought to tell him about the other change that had happened to her. Her body seemed to have become fully alive again, functioning as any young woman's might.
"Do you want to go out tonight?" he asked. "We could try to find some excitement."
Narcise gave a little laugh. She'd told him about how she felt when she'd chased off her attackers after leaving Rubey's. It had occurred to her that she could use some of her great strength and fighting skills to do that sort of thing on a regular basis. As a sort of protective agent on the streets at night, watching for opportunities to help the vulnerable and weak.
It would give her something to do with her life. And although she couldn't be violent simply for her own purposes, or for the sake of hurting another, she could use her strength to help the weaker-by saving women, who, like she'd been, were controlled or assaulted by others. "I think that would be very exciting. Perhaps we could go to Seven Dials... I understand there is a public house there that attracts varlets and the bad sort-and more of Luce's half demons, too. I don't recall the name of it."
"The Silver Chalice. Whatever you wish," Giordan said, sliding his muscular leg between hers. "I don't mind a good fight myself, once in a while." He smiled, showing his fangs.
Neither of them would turn away from a fight-as long as it wasn't violence for the sake of violence. Or death. Narcise had learned that she, too, could only feed from those who consumed only sustenance without violence. Moksha was a powerful thing.
And Giordan had given it to her.
"I'll take you to visit Cezar whenever you like," he said, sliding those sharp fangs along the sensitive column of her neck. She shivered, then pulled away as her veins pulsed and throbbed in anticipation.
"It won't bother you...after all that's happened?" she asked, now watching him closely. "To see him?"
He shook his head, mashing those thick dark curls against the white pillow. "Not now that I have you. It was all for you, Narcise. I could live through anything, knowing I had you on the other side of it."
She squeezed her eyes closed again, the welling of guilt and misery strong and hard, knotted in her belly. "I wish I had been different."
But he shook his head again, and touched her face. "Do you not see? It was only because of what happened that I was able to change...to find that peace. And then, when you were ready, I gave it to you. If you'd left with me that day...after I was with Cezar, we wouldn't be here now, marked by light instead of dark."
Narcise sat up suddenly, the heavy weight of guilt and shame sliding away like a dark cloud. "Do you truly believe that?"
"But of course I do," he said, looking up at her. "It's often only after great despair and sacrifice that one finds what one really needs. And in an immortal life, ten years is hardly a breath."
She smiled and felt as if the warm blast of the sun had just entered the chamber. "What an amazing man you are, Giordan. I love you...forever."
"I've loved you from the moment I first saw you. There's no one I want to spend immortality with besides you, Narcise."
"How about a child?"
He stilled, looking at her with shocked, wide eyes. "But you cannot..."
Her smile grew wider. "I happen to know that something else about me has changed...and I think it's possible now."
"Then I suggest we begin attending to that right away," he said, sliding over on top of her. "Then I'll have two females I love to spend eternity with."
"What if it's a boy?"
"It won't be. I know these things...remember? I was almost an avatar."