"No, damn it, Narcise...I have three sisters...it's hard for me to comprehend that a woman can be so...strong. I'm trying, Narcise."
"I don't know if I can trust you anymore," she told him. "I have a sense that you'd do it again-"
"Devil take it, yes, I would. I don't want anything to happen to you, for God's sake. I'm in love with you, Lord help me...I'm in love with a vampir."
He tugged her into his arms and found her mouth, bringing her body up along his tall one as he pulled her close. She sensed the desperation behind his kiss, the uncertainty in his touch...and despite the beginning flutters of pleasure, this time she couldn't forget what loomed between them. Her anger toward him for his controlling protectiveness...and Chas's own internal battle that, try as he might to overcome, was still a wide chasm.
Narcise was familiar with the anguish that played out in his face when they were together. The guilt and revulsion still warred with his desire as he begged her to bite him.
You could have been one of us. She wondered what would have happened if he had accepted Lucifer's offer. Would she and Chas have found each other, been happy together? Impossible for a Dracule.
At last he eased away, his arms still loosely around her waist, and one hand lifted to brush a strand of hair from her face. "So beautiful," he murmured, shaking his head. He looked at her, his eyes hot and heavy-lidded, his mouth swollen from the kiss.
"I'm coming with you," he told her, and she was aware of a flash of relief...then the twitch of panic. What if something happened to Chas this time? She was still angry with him, furious...but she still cared about him.
"Dimitri and Voss...they need to stay with my sisters," he added.
And they aren't Dracule any longer. Now mortals, though stronger and as powerful as men could be, the others no longer had Astheniae, nor the vulnerability to sunlight...but instead, they had many other weaknesses. They would be better served remaining with the women they loved than risking their mortal lives.
"Chas," Narcise said, pulling out of his embrace. She had to be honest. "I'm not going to change like them. I know you believe a miracle can happen...but I don't see how it can. Dimitri tried for a century-"
His eyes shone with a determined light. "But how do you know? Even Cale-"
"Woodmore." The deep, mellow voice cut in, startling Narcise as it swept over her from behind. How had she not scented him? The back of her shoulders prickled with awareness and her recently kissed lips throbbed as if filled with guilt.
"I'll be going as well," he informed them.
Her heart racing, she turned to face Giordan. "That's not necessary," she replied. Traveling with him? By the Fates, no.
She felt dizzy; he stood right before her, so close she felt his presence seeping into her. His expression had eased slightly since the conversation in the parlor, but there were still deep lines around his lips and eyes. The place she'd nipped him on his lip had dried into a slender dark line, helping to make him look uncharacteristically rugged and rough. His wound still leaked a bit and her attention was captured by the sight of the bit of blood pooling in the elegant, golden curve of skin between shoulder and neck.
Lust and pleasure zipped through her, down deep inside.
Where had her anger gone?
Giordan's expression didn't change. "I'm going. I'll be ready to leave in a quarter of an hour. Wait for me." And he walked off down the hall, his broad shoulders seeming to fill the space, his strides easy and smooth.
When she turned back to Chas, he was watching her with an unfathomable expression.
"What is it?" she asked, aware that her fingers were trembling.
"It's him." His mouth had flattened into a white line and misery touched his hazel eyes. He slid a hand into his hair and raked it viciously through the dark waves. "It'll always be Cale, won't it?"
It's only you, Narcise. She pushed away the echo of Giordan's words from years ago. "I don't know what you mean."
"You still love him, and until that changes, you can't see anyone else. You can't love anyone else. Including me."
"I don't-I might have thought I loved him once, but not any longer. I could never... You have no idea how his betrayal destroyed me." She made her voice hard and filled with loathing, reminding herself of his sins.
And now they were going back to Cezar again. She felt light-headed and faint. Both of them. Maybe she couldn't do this after all.
Chas was looking at her, shaking his head. Intensity and anger vibrated off him. "He loves you. How can you not see it? At first I thought it was simply your disinterest. And you...you want him so badly you-"
Her mouth was trembling, but she had to stop him from talking. "Don't be a fool. He loves only himself, his own pleasure. There's no space for anyone else. And we Dracule...we live for pleasure. I do."
"Jesus, Narcise." He drew in a deep breath, covering his eyes with his hand, then sliding it down his face. When he was finished, he looked at her. "God help me, I cannot believe I'm about to say this." She waited.
"If nothing else, at least you'll know I've learned from my mistakes...." He shook his head, his dark hand falling away. He wasn't looking at her now; he was looking down the hall, away from her. "I gave Sonia one of Cale's handkerchiefs."
Narcise's heart stopped. She already knew Giordan's Asthenia was cats, so it would be no surprise...but why would Chas be hesitant to tell her- "She saw you in the vision. Dead. His greatest fear is you dying. Why do you think he's insisting on going back to Cezar with us?"
"You must be mistaken," she whispered, frowning, fighting the shivers that attempted to take her over. "He has other reasons for seeing my brother again," she said, forcing bitterness into a voice that shook. But it was difficult. All at once, she felt off balance and confused. Weak. Even nauseated.
Chas didn't respond right away. He was looking down the corridor in the direction Giordan had gone, his face still and harsh, his lips curled into each other. White edged his mouth and around his nose.
"Are you that blind, Narcise? His only reason for going back again is for you. Don't you understand what happened?" But still, he didn't look at her. "Your brother blackmailed him into it. All of it. He was only with him in order to protect you...in exchange for getting you away from Cezar. But you wouldn't go."
Narcise put her hand out against the wall. "You're mistaken," she breathed again, trying to draw air into her suddenly frozen lungs.
But Chas was still looking away, his body rigid. "I wish to hell I was."