I wanted to cry. I wanted to rail and scream and bemoan the Fates. But that would not help anything. And every second that I stood here was one more second that they were still in control.
I finally nodded woodenly, my hands clenched into fists at my sides.
"Fine."
Hecate studied my face. "You are certain?"
"Yes," I whispered. "Get her. The king won’t notice her absence. They think she is simply an orphaned peasant. Slip in and out and bring her here. But you must tell her what she has to do. I cannot do that."
She nodded and was gone.
I turned to Lucan. "Good knight, I know that this must be perplexing for you. I wish that we had time to explain everything but we do not. Just know that you are a very good man. You have been unfairly persecuted and we will make it right."
He grasped my hand, his grip warm and strong as he stared into my eyes. His gentle brown eyes melted my heart and I fought the urge to cry.
"Are you certain that you want to do this?" he asked. "You will risk so much, my lady."
I looked at him, at his handsome face, and I knew that I would do it a hundred times if need be.
"Yes," I replied firmly. "It is worth it."
Courtney Cole 106
With My Last Breath, Book Three
Before he could answer, Hecate reappeared with Raquel at her side. Dropping Lucan’s hand, I rushed to my daughter. I knew that Hecate wouldn’t have told her that I was her mother. That would be cruel given the act that she had to perform. But I could see on her little face that Hecate had told her what she must do. I knelt in front of her, grasping her small hand.
"Do not be afraid," I told her quietly. "You have an important job. We are at war now, and we are all fighting for our lives. You are very important and I appreciate what you will do."
"But my lady," she stammered. "Why must you die? You are so kind."
She was frightened, her hand turning clammy and cold. With goddess hearing, I could hear her little heart racing in her chest and it broke my own.
"There is much you do not yet know, young one," I replied. "And soon, it will be revealed to you. But now, we all must be brave and strong and do what we must. Can you?"
She watched me for a moment, her eyes frightened before she nodded.
"Yes, my lady," she whispered. "I will do anything you wish."
A knot formed in my throat and I could barely swallow it. Raquel had gotten her bravery from her father. She was terrified, but she was able to overcome it. She squared her skinny shoulders as I led her to the altar. A sword had appeared on the stone, its blade simple, long and razor sharp. I eyed it calmly. Why wasn’t I afraid?
I gathered Raquel’s hands in my own, kneeling as I looked into her eyes.
"Do not be afraid," I implored her. "I will not really die. I will still be here, just as these men are," and I gestured toward the ghostly warriors surrounding us. "And then, when our battle here has been won, there is much to be explained to you."
As I watched, her blue eyes flickered, replaced for an instant by vivid jade, just like my own. I startled and before I could even comprehend what I had seen, they had changed back to blue.
Realization settled upon me. The Fates had altered her appearance, making sure she was disguised during all of these millennia. I would have recognized her eyes. My anger fueled me and I climbed onto the stone, lying back onto the cold surface.
"It is time," I told Raquel. "Don’t be afraid. Just pick up the sword and let us get this done."
I watched as her little hands grasped the handle of the sword and she tentatively approached me. She was terrified.
"It will be alright," I assured her. "I promise."
She nodded and raised the sword directly over my chest. I could practically see her heart beating in hers, it was pounding so hard. The blade glistened in the light, the tip a mere foot from my body, just as in my vision.
"Do it," I whispered. "Just do it, child."
Courtney Cole 107
With My Last Breath, Book Three
The blade descended as Lucan cried, "NO!" from the perimeter of the circle.
But it was too late. The sword sliced cleanly into my chest, cutting through flesh and bone, embedding into my heart. I felt my heart stutter one time and then still, as my vision turned cloudy and then faded to inky black.
And then suddenly, I was standing next to the chieftain, watching Raquel weep as her body was bathed in my blood.
"Raquel," I said quietly, grasping her arm.
She turned and gasped. I knew I must appear as the warriors, slightly transparent and glowing. She looked from me to my inert body lying in a pool of blood on the stone. I could feel Lucan and Hecate watching me, as well. The meadow was silent, the air charged with what had just transpired.
In all honestly, I didn’t feel any differently. My hand on Raquel’s arm felt firm and solid, as though I was flesh and blood. My feet were planted firmly in the soil, my hair was rustling in the wind. The only difference was that my heart didn’t beat in my chest.
"It is alright," I assured everyone.
Hecate nodded knowingly. She was accustomed to supernatural things and this did not surprise her. Lucan was astounded, but as always, he handled himself with strength, standing stoically behind me. My daughter launched herself at my legs, weeping.
"My lady, I’m so sorry," she cried. "I didn’t want to do it. I really didn’t."
I picked her up and leaned my forehead into hers.
"Raquel, do you feel that? Do you feel me? I am here with you and I am fine. You had an important job to do and you did it. I am very proud of you. And when this is over, you will be rewarded."
She looked up at me, her pink lip quivering. "Truly? You will truly be fine?"
I nodded. "I promise. I will truly be fine." And honestly, as I studied the group of chieftains surrounding me, seeing how their numbers extended well into the surrounding field, spilling over the crest of the hilltop, I believed it for the first time.
"Everything will be fine," I told her again as I straightened up and picked up the black box of souls. Glancing up, the red-headed chieftain caught my eye and he nodded.
I sat the box down in the middle of the stone and climbed up next to it, stepping over my lifeless mortal body, treading through my own blood. Bending, I pulled the sword out of my chest, listening to the moist sound it made as it slid from my mortal wound.
Somehow, it didn’t bother me. I wasn’t sure if it was bravery or numbness that fueled me now, but I was not afraid. Gripping the handle, I plunged it into the box, watching as it split in two and thousands of shrieks filled the sky around me as souls poured from the box.