I pass with flying colors and I am approved to specialize in Psychiatric medicine.
Luca and I spend the weekend celebrating in Portland, strolling down the scenic walks beside the Willamette River which flows through the center of the city. Luca laughs about the near constant rain, but I remind him that that is why the Pacific Northwest is so beautiful and green. He laughs and reminds me that Malta is beautiful, too, and it doesn’t need to rain constantly to stay that way. I have to concede that point.
We return to Malta and life continues, seemingly idyllic.
I pester Luca, insisting that at some point, he will have to talk about everything that happened with me. And if not with me, then with someone. He agrees.
“Adrian is still out there,” I remind him. “I know that Damien has hired people to find him, but he’s still out there. That must weigh heavily on your mind. You need to talk about it.”
“But I’m not ready yet,” he tells me. “I have to process it first myself. Then I’ll discuss it with you.” I agree with that. It’s perfectly understandable.
“We’re completely safe at the house,” he assures me. “We’ve hired extra security. Adrian can’t hurt us.” I believe him. Damien told me himself that the Minaldis have extensive resources. I know that we are safe. Chessarae is a virtual fortress.
I know he is troubled, however. I wake many times in the night to find that he isn’t in bed. I always know where to find him. He plays the piano because the music soothes him. Each time I wake and he is gone, I sit with him while he plays for a while before I lead him back to bed.
One night, I find him alone on the terrace at 2:00 a.m., staring at the moon in the darkness.
“I should turn myself in,” he tells me quietly. When he turns to me, I can see the angst on his face. “It’s the right thing to do.”
“No,” I am firm. “How is that the right thing to do? Adrian is at fault for everything. You didn’t rape those girls. The drugs that Adrian gave you raped those girls. Then Adrian killed them. Why should you turn yourself in for that? Because of Adrian, you’ve hated yourself your entire life. Because of what he did, you will feel guilty for the rest of your life. I know you. You will carry this guilt forever and that is quite enough punishment for something that you had no control over. You didn’t do this, Luca. Adrian did.”
He nods, but I can see that his heart isn’t in his words. “I know that. But my body forced those girls against their will. It was my body, even if I wasn’t in control of it. Every once in a while, I get memory flashes, just little bits and pieces. There are times when I see their faces and it makes me sick.”
I turn his chin so that he is looking at me. “It wasn’t you, Luca. It was Adrian. You have been a victim in this, too. And Damien’s men will find him and he will be punished. The rightful person will be punished and that is not you. Those girls will be vindicated. I promise.”
He nods, but mumbles, “Still, I have to do something.”
Soon after, I hear from Marianne that an anonymous benefactor has set up very large memorial funds for the girls’ families. I know it was Luca, although he never mentions it.
Time passes; weeks, then a month.
One night at dinner, several weeks after we return, we are eating a formal six-course meal when Luca pushes away from the table during the second course.
“I’m in the mood for a ride. Are you?”
I smile. “On a horse?”
Luca nods. “On the beach.”
He doesn’t have to ask me twice.
We share a horse, like we did the last time, so many weeks ago. I lean against his chest and he wraps his warm arms around me, keeping me safe and secure in the night. I watch the sea lap gently at the sandy beach. It’s soothing. Being here with Luca is soothing.
Luca draws the horse to a stop and slides to the ground. I stare at him in confusion.
“I’m in the mood for a swim now,” he tells me with a wolfish grin.
“In the dark?” I quirk an eyebrow. “I didn’t bring a suit.”
“Neither did I,” he says wickedly. He strips off his clothes, then helps me strip off mine. We run into the waves, laughing like children. The moon hangs overhead, romantic and full. The magic of it is too much to resist and I grab Luca, pulling him to me. I cover his lips with mine, kissing him with everything that I have.
He makes love to me in the water, as my legs wrap around his hips. When we are finished and spent, we lay in the sand on the beach, staring up at the stars.
“You’ve saved me,” Luca says quietly. I turn to him in surprise.
“I didn’t save you,” I tell him firmly. “You didn’t need saving, Luca. Your entire life as you know it was a lie. Even if I hadn’t been here, you would have come through it just fine.”
He shakes his head.
“You have been my saving grace from the moment I met you, before you even knew it. It sounds silly to say, but it is the truth. You offered me hope when I didn’t have any. I’ve clung to that notion from the beginning, even when I knew that I shouldn’t endanger you, that I shouldn’t chance it. I knew, even then, that there was something different about you. I can’t imagine ever being without you.”
“You never have to be without me,” I assure him, my voice catching. “Luca, this has been difficult, I know. But I’m here to stay. You’ll never have to be without me and I’ll never have to be without you.”
“Promise me,” he says, picking up my hand and staring into my eyes. His are a stormy black. “Marry me. Stay with me forever.”
I look at him, at his beautiful chiseled features, at his handsome grin, his perfect smile. “Yes,” I tell him. “I will stay with you forever.”
He kisses me softly, pulling me to him and we make love on the beach.
“I don’t have a ring,” he tells me as we ride back to Chessarae, tired and spent. “I don’t want to use my mother’s or my grandmother’s. I want something new, something that isn’t associated with anything dark or ugly. We’ll go to town tomorrow and you can pick anything you’d like.”