And Becca busted him. Period. It was pretty cut and dried, I thought. But I guess it wasn’t.
I drop my face into my hands. This isn’t good.
But it is 10:56 a.m. and Mia will be here any minute to go shopping.
So I can’t call Becca back right now.
And honestly, it might be good to give her a little space anyway.
Just a little.
Just until I have built up enough courage to face her, because Becca’s right. I totally betrayed her by falling in love with her boyfriend. She has no idea that my crush on Quinn has totally been eclipsed by my crush on Dante.
It doesn’t take away the fact that I’d kept it a secret from her. And that’s the most hurtful thing. We don’t keep secrets from each other. Not ever. Not until now.
I sigh. Why is life so complicated sometimes?
10:58.
The phone rings beside the bed and I pick it up, hesitantly.
“Hello?”
It’s someone from downstairs. Mia’s here. Apparently, they can’t just send her up without permission from someone, so I give my permission and wait. She arrives just a minute or two later.
She raps on my bedroom door and I answer and am surprised to see that she looks no worse for the wear. She laughs at my expression.
“Expecting someone else?” she asks, stepping into my room.
“No,” I stammer. “I just thought you’d be… hung over.”
She laughs again. “I hide it well,” she confides. “My head is splitting.”
Mia is dressed in a micro-mini layered with two black tank tops and about five rhinestone encrusted belts. Her short black hair is held back from her face by rhinestone headbands and overall, she looks like a sparkly rock star. She’s even wearing five inch heels.
“You’re so dressed up,” I say tactfully.
She actually looks like she is going out to a club. Not exactly the outfit I would have worn for a day of shopping. But then, I have one outfit to my name at the moment, so who am I to judge?
“If you’re going to do something,” she advises, “Do it all the way.”
Good point.
“Are you ready?” she asks, looking me up and down. “Never mind. You’re ready. For some new clothes, that is.”
“Snot,” I nudge her. Mia already feels like an old friend and it is a really good feeling at the moment when I know that Becca would just as soon poke my eyes out as to look at me.
I grab my purse and we head out my door, down the steps and out the front. No one tries to stop me, and I realize that I expect someone to. I don’t know why. We walk down the cobblestone sidewalks and this time, no one stops to look at me. They don’t realize who I am, I guess.
Mia heads into a nearby shop, dragging me by the arm. We step inside and we are instantly surrounded by a teenage girl’s paradise: racks and racks of clothing. I sigh a happy little sigh, pat my mother’s credit card which is in my back pocket and start sifting through racks of clothing.
Four pair of shorts, two pairs of strappy sandals, two t-shirts, two pheasant-style blouses, one swimsuit and seven pairs of underwear later, Mia and I stand out on the sidewalk with our bags. I peer into Mia’s.
Everything she bought is black.
I look back up at her. She just doesn’t seem like the goth kind of girl.
“Trying to change your image?” I ask curiously. She smiles broadly.
“How did you know?”
“Just a guess. Why?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. Mix it up a little bit, I guess. Keep my parents on their toes.”
I nod. That’s as good a reason as any, I guess.”
Mia starts to answer, then rolls her eyes.
“Ugh. Total bitch at 9:00.”
“What?” I stare at her and she tugs my arm back into the shop. I turn and find Elena and two other girls, strolling down the sidewalk.
“Oh.”
I can hear them chattering from here, cat-like remarks that are designed to be hateful. I don’t see what Dante sees in her and I ask Mia that very thing.
“I don’t know, “she answers thoughtfully, chewing on her bottom lip. “I don’t know that he sees anything in her, to be honest. They are together sometimes, and sometimes they aren’t. I think it’s a convenience thing. Their families are practically joined together. And then of course, their fathers sort of expect it so that someday, their families really will be joined together.”
“What year is this?”I demand. “1623? People don’t get married anymore to join families together.”
“Maybe not in America,” Mia levels a glance at me. “But you’re not in America.”
“Don’t I know it,” I mutter.
And then, when Elena and her two meanies are just steps away, my phone rings. I look at it and the screen says Becca Cline and her heart-shaped face is smiling at me. And my heart stops because I know that I have to answer it, but now isn’t the time. Or the place.
But I have to.
I pick it up.
“Hello?”
“So.” Becca’s voice is as cold as ice. As cold as I’ve ever heard it. Ever. “You’re in love with my boyfriend. You’ve been in love with my boyfriend for years. And you haven’t told me. What kind of friend are you?”
“Becca, it’s not what you think,” I offer. “Really. Have I had a crush on Quinn for awhile? Yes. Have I ever acted in any way that would be inappropriate for your best friend to act? No. Not on my life, not ever. I wouldn’t do that.”
“If it was such an innocent crush, you would have told me,” Becca accuses, and her voice is so…accusatory. And mad. And I have no defense.
“I know,” I admit. “It’s true. I’ve had a huge crush on him forever. But I didn’t want to tell you because how in the world would I say something like that? I never intended to act on it or ever let anyone know about it. If you hadn’t read my journal, you wouldn’t know either.”
“Don’t start pointing fingers,” she snaps, icicles forming through the phone line from her tone. “I came across your journal by accident. Should I have read it? No. But I never expected to read that. Not ever. You’ve always been the one thing in my entire life that I can count on. And I think that’s what hurts the most. I know now that I can’t count on you. I can’t count on anyone.”