She had to get her hands on him, make him think she was a woman terrified out of her mind. She just needed that one moment where she could wrap her hand around his wrist, feel his pulse, his heartbeat…Saber went crazy, thrashing, trying to turn, arms flailing out at the gun to knock it aside. “Go ahead, shoot! Do it! Get it over with. I’m not running from you anymore.” She caught at the gleaming barrel as she sat up, pulled it against her head. “Do it!” She judged the distance to his wrist. A moment, just one heartbeat and she had him.
To her surprise, her assailant suddenly swore and yanked the gun back.
“Saber!” Jess’s voice was hoarse with a mixture of fear and anger. “Are you out of your mind sneaking in here like that? I could have shot you.”
Fury and relief met fear head on, mingled, and melted together in a violent swirl of emotion she couldn’t contain. “You pulled a gun on me?” She flung herself at him, swinging at him with a clenched fist. She could have killed him-had come within a hairsbreadth of killing Jesse. Oh God, she could never-never-have lived with that.
He caught both of her wrists, tipped her off balance, and brought her up hard against his legs. “Stop it, Saber.” He gave her a little shake when she continued to struggle. “I had no idea you were coming home. It’s hours early. You hate the dark and yet you didn’t turn on a single light.” He made the words an accusation.
She was trembling uncontrollably, so close to tears it terrified her. “I was being considerate,” she hissed. “Which is more than I can say for you. Let go of me, you’re hurting me.” She could have killed him. She would have killed him. Why hadn’t she known it was him? She always recognized his scent, his warmth. She hadn’t even recognized his voice. Maybe she had on some level afterward, but not at first, not when he’d come at her in the dark. Why? What had been different? Her mind raced with questions, but anger and hurt and terror overtook reason.
“Are you calm?”
“Don’t patronize me. You put a gun to my head. God! I live here, Jesse, I can come and go as I please. And what are you doing sitting up at one o’clock in the morning, lights out, with a gun?” she demanded.
Suddenly she knew. She felt another’s presence, a witness to her hysterical outburst. Stiffening, she turned slowly. Saber caught a glimpse of a shadowy figure hastily backing out of sight. Tall, abundant curves. Saber’s heart plunged right down to her toes. A woman. Jesse was with a woman in the middle of the night. A stranger. With the lights off. Worse, Jess was so willing to protect that stranger that he had actually lain in wait with a gun. Betrayal was a bitter taste in Saber’s mouth. And why hadn’t she scented the woman?
A small flame began to smolder. Had he held the woman in his strong arms? Run his hands through her hair? Kissed her the way Saber had so longed for him to kiss her? Oh God, they’d probably been making love, right there in the living room. The fire spread. And the woman had witnessed Saber’s lack of control. Her gaze was riveted to Jess’s hard features. It was a silent accusation of betrayal and she didn’t give a damn if he knew how she felt. She’d spent way too long here, risked too much. Damn you to hell for this.
Saber evaded his instinctive move toward her, pressing the back of her hand to her mouth. She felt betrayed, utterly betrayed. If it was possible to hate Jess, right at that moment, she did.
“Saber.” There was an ache in his voice.
She whirled around and ran up the stairs, for the first time in years not caring or even noticing that the lights were out. She went straight through to her bedroom, her chest burning, fighting for air, her head pounding. She flung her shoes one after the other at the wall and threw herself facedown on the bed. If this was normal, it sucked. She didn’t want normal anymore. She wanted to disappear, let Saber Wynter die and someone else, someone who didn’t-couldn’t-feel like this take her place.
Jess doubled his fist wanting, needing, to smash something. In ten months Saber had never once come home early from work. The security guard should have called him, damn it. Brian should have called him. Why was she home? And what the hell was wrong with her? She hadn’t known it was Jess holding the gun, he had been shielding the scents and sounds in the room, yet she had fought like a wildcat, even going so far as to scream at him to shoot her.
Instantly he felt the jarring note. Not him. She believed him to be someone else. He winced as he heard her shoes crash against the wall. Who? Who had she expected? He moved toward the darkened living room.
A soft muted sound stopped him cold. Saber was weeping, a muffled, heartbroken sound that tore his heart right out of his chest. Damn the GhostWalkers and the all-too-necessary security precautions. Damn the security guard and Brian for withholding a warning.
“I’ll go.” His guest moved out of the shadows.
“I’m sorry for the inconvenience,” Jess forced himself to say. He couldn’t very well tell her to go to hell. Louise Charter, the admiral’s secretary, had risked her life to hand deliver a small digital recorder to him, yet at that moment, all he could hear, could concentrate on, all he cared about, were the soft sounds of distress emanating from the bedroom upstairs.
Saber never cried in front of him. Not even if she was injured. Tears might sparkle for a moment, but in ten long months, Saber Wynter had never cried.
Jess knew he was bordering on rudeness when he ushered Louise from his home with unseemly haste. The moment the door was closed he waited impatiently for the lift. It seemed to take an endless amount of time. He had a mad desire to try jumping his wheelchair up the flight of stairs, balancing on two wheels.
Why had she come home? He remembered the feel of her satin skin burning his. Of course. She was ill. There could be no other reason conscientious little Saber would leave her job. He didn’t let himself remember the cool steel in her eyes when she’d first turned, the ease of her body rolling, and her hands coming up in a classic defense. Only the hurt, the betrayal in her eyes-in her voice-mattered. Her voice had slid into his mind with such ease, such clarity, such pain.
The lift carried him to the second floor and his racing chair glided silently through the sitting room to her bedroom. He paused in the wide doorway, his dark, stricken gaze on Saber’s slender form. She was on her stomach, her tear-stained face buried in the crook of her arm.
His heart turned over. One thrust of his powerful arms and he was at her side, his hand tangling in the riot of curls. “Baby.” He groaned it softly in a kind of anguish. “Don’t, don’t do this.”