Kadan hated the loss of control. He wanted to be the one protecting Tansy, standing between her and danger, yet he could only sit in a room with her body and wait for her. He wrapped his hand around her wrist, needing to anchor her to him when she seemed so far away. The phone rang. His heart jumped and he swept it up instantly, listening with dread to Jeff’s theory.
“She’s definitely in a dream. She’s distressed. Her heart rate went up; she’s breathing faster and shallow,” Kadan reported. “I’m going to wake her up.”
“You can’t just wake her up,” Jeff said, alarmed. “We don’t know what’s happening on the other side. I need to know what she dreams as a rule. Does she tell you?”
“Sometimes it’s vivid enough that when she wakes up, it’s still in her mind and I get images. Will that help?”
“Tell me. Don’t leave anything out.”
While he related the details of Tansy’s nightmares, Kadan kept his gaze glued to her face. His hand shook as he held her to him, pulling her wrist against his chest and holding her palm over his heart.
“I trusted you with her, Jeff. Bring her back to me. I’d never survive intact without her.” God help them all, because that was a threat. Kadan took a deep breath and let it out, trying to find a place inside of him that was warm. There wasn’t one.
Jeff didn’t bother to reply to him. He hung up, leaving Kadan more desperate than ever. There’d been a terrible sense of urgency in Jeff’s voice. He could hear Nico in the background urging Jeff to hurry. It was silent in the bedroom once again; the only sounds were the clock ticking and Tansy’s frightened breathing. He had talked her into this, dreamwalking with Jeff and Nico, promising her she would be safe. He had sent her off without him, trusting his friends, and they’d lost her.
He stretched out beside her and gathered her into his arms, trying to comfort her, even though he knew her mind was somewhere else. When he tried to enter her mind, there was a void, as if she had been yanked from him to another realm.
I’ll love you forever. The words whispered in his mind and they sounded like finality. His heart jumped and he sat up abruptly, his dark gaze on her face.
“Get off her!” Jeff Hollister burst into the lake, diving deep, grasping Tansy by the shoulders and kicking his way to the surface.
Nico slammed hard into Dunbar, driving him back and away so that he lost his grip on Tansy. The two men fought, hand to hand, their bodies close together, each man straining for the upper hand. Nico had the physical strength, but it was Dunbar’s dream and he was trying to control it. Unlike with Tansy, however, he couldn’t control Nico.
Jeff burst from below, surfacing almost at their side, pulling Tansy with him. He swung her into his arms and raced for shore.
“Keep him alive. You can’t kill him,” Jeff yelled. “If you do, the dream collapses and she’s trapped here. We won’t be able to revive her.”
Dunbar broke free and tried to wade away, hoping for enough distance that he could end the dream. Nico refused to let him go, wrapping his fingers like a shackle around the man’s neck and jerking him over backward into the sludge.
“Hurry up, Jeff,” Nico called, concerned that Dunbar might be able to find a way to wake before they were able to kill him. Everything depended on reviving Tansy.
Jeff reached down and felt for a pulse. There was none. Swearing, he tipped her head back and began CPR.
Kadan watched the emotions chasing across Tansy’s transparent face. Sweat dotted her forehead and around her mouth, and fear crept into her expression. When he took her hand in his, her skin was clammy. She felt unnaturally cold. Suddenly her body shuddered and arched. She gasped audibly for breath. He actually saw fingerprints on her throat, pressing deep, and she struggled, desperate for air.
Heart slamming against his chest, he fought to find the fingers, to try to pry them loose, but there was no way to find invisible, intangible hands. Her face reddened, her eyes opened wide, then just as suddenly she was free, dragging hard, audible breaths into her lungs so that her chest rose and fell.
Kadan found himself inhaling when he hadn’t realized he had been holding his breath. Tansy flinched, her mouth opening wide, eyes wild with terror, then she looked like she was holding her breath. A minute. Two. She struggled at first, her body straining against an unseen hold, until she just slipped quietly away, out from under his hands, her body going limp, the breath stilling in her lungs. Her eyes closed.
Kadan felt his own heart stop. “No!” He pressed his palm against her lips, checking for air. His fingers tried to find a pulse. He tried CPR. He even hit his fist over her heart, frantically trying to start it. Nothing. He tried to fill her mind with him, but there was only emptiness.
“Tansy, no.” His eyes burned. His throat felt raw. “Fucking don’t do this.” He shook her again, trying to find a way to revive her. Her body remained limp and lifeless in spite of the air he tried to breathe into her. In spite of the stimulation to her heart and mind.
Kadan roared like a wounded animal, lifting her limp body into his arms, cradling her against his chest. Cold spread like an encroaching glacier, desperate to put out the firestorm of wild grief tearing through him. His heart shredded in his body, his mind went from clarity to chaos, thunder crashed in his ears, and for a moment, all civility was gone and he was standing primitive and stark in his raw, unrelenting agony. Only one other time in his life had he felt so utterly lost as a human being. He had sworn never to go there again, never to kill in cold blood, but the monster inside him was loose now, craving, needing, demanding vengeance.
Tansy. Don’t leave me. Baby, please. I’m begging here. He buried his face against her throat. There was no heartbeat, no warmth, no gentle hands to touch him.
He remembered a once-innocent child begging his mother, his father, even his brother and sister. Don’t leave me. But they had, and with them, they’d taken all the warmth in the world, leaving an ice-cold killing machine behind. Last time, he’d known his enemy. This time, who would pay?
He placed her body carefully on the bed again and knelt there for a moment, his hands framing her face. He hadn’t touched his family, but he wasn’t going to let her go without telling her. Saying it aloud.
“I love you, Tansy. With everything in me, good and bad. I absolutely love you.”
He swallowed the last of the fiery grief clawing through him and stood, allowing the arctic cold to consume him, inhaling, drawing the ice into his veins and lungs and into his mind, welcoming the glacier taking him over, and then he began to assemble his weapons.