He shook his head. There was enough for her to deal with right now without having to worry about his needs too. “Gideon brought me some blood yesterday, I’m fine.”
“It’s not as good.”
He smiled wryly at her. “Nothing is as good as you.” He pressed a chaste kiss to the inside of her wrist, the one that was not as bruised and raw looking. He froze, his muscles bunched as he spotted her black-and-blue middle finger. Though the bone was healed, he knew exactly what had been done to it. It took everything he had not to bellow in rage, but that was the last thing she needed right now. “But it’s enough,” he managed to choke out.
Her fingers stroked over his cheek before slipping under his chin to lift his head slightly. “I miss the bond it establishes between us.”
“As do I, but not until you’re better Aria.”
She turned her hand over in his and clasped his fingers. “What they did to me Braith, you can see it all.”
His hand clenched around the cloth, his shoulders stiffened as he froze. He’d tried not to think about the fact that they may have taken more than just her blood from her, tried not to think about the degradation she would have experienced. It made him wish they were both alive so he could draw out their deaths in ways that even his father hadn’t imagined possible. He’d love her no matter what; take her anyway that he could get her. No matter how much time it took he’d be there to help her heal.
He swallowed as he leaned closer to her, almost afraid to hope. “What are you saying Aria?”
She pressed her palm to his cheek. “They didn’t rape me Braith; they were waiting for you for that.” She tilted her head as her thumb brushed briefly across his bottom lip. “I wouldn’t have hated you if they had.”
“I didn’t come for you. The other things they did to you.” His gaze focused on her finger and the lingering bites.
“You did, when you could, and you came straight for me. Getting yourself, and everyone else killed for me, would have been foolish Braith. I’m glad you waited.”
“I know you have nightmares.” She recoiled slightly, but he pressed her hand to his cheek before she could pull away completely. “I see the way you are now in the dark.”
Her haunted eyes flitted away from him. “I didn’t like being in the caves, and the dungeons…” she shuddered as she bit her lip. “They were awful. I’d like to say that I’ll get over it one day, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to be in enclosed spaces like that again. Maybe one day we can turn the bathroom light off though.” She managed a tremulous smile as she dropped her cheek to her knee.
“The worst thing they did…” Her nose scrunched up, disgust filtered over her features as her mouth pursed. “The king forced his blood into me, to keep me alive. To punish me and try to break me, but he didn’t. There may be lingering nightmares but I’m sure I’ll eventually stop having them. I’ll learn to deal with my fear of entrapment and the dark, and time will eventually erase the taste.”
He fought to keep his face impassive even as something malicious coiled through his gut. The dark, he hadn’t realized that it bothered her until now. She had insisted that he leave the bathroom light on at night, but he’d just assumed that was because she no longer slept. The dungeons had left a lingering impression on her; one he suspected was even more profound than his father or Caleb.
She closed her eyes and for a moment she looked so young, so vulnerable that it took everything he had not to snatch her up and firmly declare that she was never going to leave his arms again. It was a foolish thought though, impossible, and one she would only resent.
“His blood was so different than yours. It was awful; I’d never tasted anything so vile.” Then she was looking at him again, her eyes clear and questioning. “Why was it so different?”
“Because you belong with me.” It was the most simple, basic, and truthful answer that he could come up with.
“I do don’t I?”
“Yes.” He hadn’t meant it to but the word came out as a low growl.
She smiled at him as her fingers flitted over his arm. “I could feel my body rebelling against his blood, fighting against its intrusion into my body. It’s intrusion into you. Even my body knew that only you belonged there.”
She’d rendered him speechless. Emotion entwined so firmly in his chest that he thought he might actually cry. He didn’t think he’d ever done that in his life. It was rage that drove him, an ardent drive to keep her safe, and an overwhelming urge to possess her in every way. This though, this was different. He loved her, he’d die for her, but he realized now that their relationship had been mostly driven by fear. Fear of her blood slave status, the fear that came of losing her, fear of failing in this war, fear of Caleb and his father.
However, at the heart of it, at the very center of everything they had accomplished was the two of them, and this simple miraculous gift they’d been given, his love for her, and hers for him. It had driven them both to do things they’d never imagined they could do, and in the end they’d won. He didn’t know what their future held, but he knew that no matter what, this gift had been worth every nightmare it had brought to them, and every nightmare it may continue to bring.
He was astounded by the love that flared through him and pushed aside his enduring hatred toward his father and brother. They were his past, and sitting before him was a future more promising and beautiful than any he’d ever dared to hope for.
“Even if they had done more to me, I would still be glad that you hadn’t come. You did the right thing Braith. It may have taken me time to heal, but they wouldn’t have broken me. I’m not breakable, I may be shaken right now, but I’m not broken.”
She was right, she was grieving, she was trying to come to terms with the abuse she had suffered and the loss of her father, but she wasn’t broken. “You’ll make a remarkable queen Arianna.”
She became rigid, her dusky eyes widened as she stared at him. “Braith, I’m aware of the fact that they won’t accept me as a human.” He pushed the long strands of her dark auburn hair behind her ear. He relished in the silken feel of her skin beneath the palm of his hand as he lingered on her cheek. “And I know you don’t want to change me.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to change you Aria, I would love nothing more than to spend eternity with you.”