He was able to ascertain that Etienne’s ship was still scheduled to dock in London. That was good news. If he must leave his home and go scurrying all over England, then at least he could find out about the Spinner’s Falls traitor while he did so. More troubling was the information that Etienne’s ship was only docking in London to pick up supplies. The captain wasn’t even letting his men have shore leave. The time period when Alistair might visit the ship was very slim—only a matter of hours. Dammit. He would have to check back regularly at the docks to make sure he didn’t miss Etienne’s ship altogether. Once Etienne sailed, he’d be going around the Horn of Africa. It would be months, maybe years, before Alistair would be able to contact him again.
Alistair left the dock master’s office and paused to don his tricorne. He glanced quickly from under the brim and saw that his tracker was still waiting. Good. He leapt into his waiting carriage and banged on the roof to signal the coachman. Hopefully the man was well rested, because he’d be jogging another hour or so before they made the hotel.
Alistair smiled and tilted his hat over his eyes, prepared to use that time in a nap.
* * *
“I KNOW HE would not see me before,” Helen said patiently to the butler, “but I think he will now. Tell His Grace that I am alone.”
The man obviously didn’t want to bother his master, but with perseverance and much repetition, Helen was finally able to send the man on his errand. He placed her in the same sitting room she’d inhabited with Alistair not an hour before. Alistair would be angry if he knew she was visiting the duke alone, but she couldn’t simply wait passively for Lister to respond. She had to at least try to reason with him. And she knew that if she came alone, he’d see her. She could talk to him, beg if she had to. Abigail and Jamie were the only good things she had to show from a life less than wisely lived. She would do whatever it took to get them safely back.
Half an hour later, when her nerves had stretched taut enough to snap, the Duke of Lister entered the room. She’d turned at the sound of the door opening. Now she watched as he strolled toward her and remembered that first sight of him over a decade before. He’d changed very little in that time. He was still tall, his head held arrogantly erect. He’d gained a small amount of weight about his middle, and she knew that beneath his curled wig his hair had receded, but otherwise he was much the same—an older, handsome man who knew very well the power he held. What had changed was her. She was no longer a green girl over-awed by a man’s rank and wealth.
She dipped in a tiny curtsy. “Your Grace.”
“Helen.” He stared at her, his eyes cold, his pale lips thin. “You have made me very, very angry.”
“Have I?” she asked, and she saw a quick flash of surprise in his light blue eyes. She’d never challenged anything he’d said in the past. It was what had made her an exemplary mistress: her willingness to accede to his every wish. “I didn’t think you would notice my absence at all.”
“Then you are mistaken.” He gestured her to a seat. “I’m afraid you’ll have to work hard to regain my esteem.”
She sat and tamped down anger. “I want only my children.”
He sank into a chair opposite her, flicking aside the skirts of his velvet coat. “My children as well.”
She leaned forward, unable to stop herself from hissing, “You don’t even know their names.”
“James, and the girl”—he snapped his fingers as he searched for her name—“Abigail. You see, I do know their names. Not that it matters when all things are considered. You knew very well what the price of leaving me would be. Pray don’t feign shock now.”
“I’m their mother.” She tried to keep the pleading from her voice, but it was hard. Impossible, really. “They need me, Lister. Let me have them back. Please.”
He smiled, his lips spreading without any humor—or indeed any emotion—at all. “Very pretty, but your pleas do not sway me. You’ve crossed me, Helen, and now you must be punished. Come, now. Agree to move back into the town house I gave you and then I may be more amenable to discussing the children.”
She stared, truly shocked. It’d not occurred to her that he might try to blackmail her in this way. “But why?”
He raised his eyebrows in what looked like genuine surprise. “Because I want you, of course. You’re just as much mine as the children are.”
“You don’t want me. You haven’t seen me—haven’t made love to me—in years. I know you’ve taken another mistress, probably more than one.”
Lister made a moue of distaste at her mention of the bedroom. “Please, Helen, we needn’t be so crass. Never think because I don’t visit you as often that I’ve forgotten you. I’m really quite fond of you, my dear; please believe it. And when you’ve come back, why, I may find it in my heart to reward you with a small trinket.” He seemed much struck with the thought. “Yes, I think sapphire earrings or perhaps even a necklace. You know how I like sapphires on you.”
He stood and crossed to her, offering his hand to help her rise.
Helen closed her eyes, trying to beat down panic. He sounded so reasonable, so sure that he’d get exactly what he wanted. And why shouldn’t he? Lister was a duke. He had gotten everything he’d ever wanted in his life. But not her.
Not her.
She opened her eyes and stared at him, this man she’d loved so long ago, this man who was the father of her children. She placed her hand in his and rose to stand before him. “I’m not coming back.”
His eyes became hard and opaque, and his fingers tightened into a vise around her hand. “Now, don’t be foolish, Helen. You’ve already put me out. I don’t think you’d like to enrage me.”
She caught her breath at the implied threat, twisting her hand, trying to free herself. He let her struggle for a moment more and then abruptly let her go. He stood smiling. She stared at him, wondering if she truly knew him at all. Helen turned and walked from his sitting room and his house. She almost ran down the front steps and into the waiting sedan chair. Once enclosed in the small space, she allowed herself to shake. Dear God, could she do it? If returning to Lister was the only way to get Abigail and Jamie back, could she stand firm against him? No. She already knew in her heart. No.
If she had to choose between her pride and her children, she would concede her pride.