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Polgara the Sorceress(72)
Author: David Eddings

‘I’ve a bit of a surprise fery’, yer Earlship,’ Asrana said in a fair imitation of the brogue of the Wacite peasants. ‘This dear lass with th’ unspeakable beauty is after bein’ th’ Lady Polgara, don’t y’ know. Aren’t y’ honored enough t’ just fall down in a swoon t’ make her acquaintance.’

‘Please, Countess,’ Mangaran said, passing a weary hand across his eyes, ‘I’ve had a very trying morning. His Grace is absolutely impossible just now. He isn’t out of bed yet, and he’s already drunk. Don’t start off with fairy-tales.’

‘But she is, my Lord. This is really Polgara the Sorceress.’ Asrana gave me a look of wide-eyed innocence. ‘Sorcerize him, Lady Polgara,’ she urged. ‘Turn him into a toad or something.’

‘Do you mind, Asrana?’ I said.

‘He’s a skeptic, Polly. Make all his hair fall out.’

Nobody had ever called me ‘Polly’ before – and nobody had better ever do it again.

‘Please forgive our Countess, my Lady,’ Mangaran said. ‘Sometimes she breaks out in this rash of cleverness. We’ve tried to break her of the habit, but you can see for yourself how fruitless it’s been.’

‘I’ve noticed that, my Lord,’ I said. ‘This time what she says is true, though.’ I absently plucked a deep red rose from a nearby bush. ‘Just to save some time here –’ I held out my hand with the rose lying on my palm. ‘Watch closely,’ I instructed.

I did it slowly, in part to make it more impressive and in part to keep from alerting the Murgo who was somewhere in the palace. The rose on my palm shriveled down to almost nothing, and then it sprouted a tiny, spiraling shoot that grew quite rapidly, branching out as it reached up toward the sun. Leaves appeared first, and then the tips of the twigs swelled into buds. When the buds opened, each new rose was of a different color.

‘Now that’s something you don’t see every day, isn’t it, Mangaran?’ Asrana suggested mildly.

The earl appeared more than a little startled. Then he quickly regained his composure. ‘Well, now,’ he said. ‘Welcome to Vo Astur, Lady Polgara.’ He bowed with exquisite grace.

I translocated my rainbow rosebush into a corner of the nearby flower bed and responded to the earl’s bow with a curtsey. ‘Now that we’ve covered that, we need to talk, my Lord.’

‘You’ve managed to capture my undivided attention. Lady Polgara. I’m at your immediate disposal.’

‘Oh, please don’t dispose of him, Polly,’ Asrana said, her eyes sparkling. ‘If you don’t want him, let me have him.’

‘That will do, Asrana,’ I told her. Then I looked at Mangaran. ‘Are you in the mood for a touch of treason this morning, my Lord?’ I asked him.

‘I’m an Arend, Lady Polgara,’ he said with a faint smile. ‘I’m always in the mood for mischief.’

Polly’s going to kill our duke,’ Asrana said breathlessly, ‘and I get to watch while she does it.’

‘Me too?’ Mangaran said in a tone every bit as childish as Asrana’s.

‘Oh, dear,’ I sighed. ‘What have I let myself in for?’

‘We’ll be good, Polly,’ Asrana promised. ‘How are we going to exterminate the Bug?’

‘We probably aren’t going to,’ I told them. ‘He might know some things I’ll need. He’s being led down the garden path by a Murgo who’s trying to start a war between Arendia and the Tolnedran empire.’

‘Great Chaldan!’ Mangaran exclaimed. ‘Our duke’s an idiot, but–’

‘He’s not the only one who’s being deceived, my Lord,’ I told him. ‘I’ve just come from Vo Wacune, and the same thing’s been going on there – and probably in Vo Mimbre as well. The Angaraks are trying to stir up dissent and wars here in the west in preparation for an invasion out of Mallorea. My father sent me here to Arendia to put a stop to it. I gather that your duke’s too thick-witted to listen to reason, so I don’t think we’ve got any choice but to depose him and put you in his place.’

‘Me? Why me?’

Why does everybody keep saying that?

I told him why him in the bluntest way imaginable, and even the unflappable Asrana seemed just a little flapped.

‘The duke has a lot of guards, Lady Polgara,’ Earl Mangaran said dubiously, ‘and they get paid even when the rest of the army doesn’t. They’ll defend him with their very lives.’

‘We could bribe them,’ Asrana suggested.

‘A man who can be bribed usually isn’t honorable enough to stay bribed,’ Mangaran disagreed.

Asrana shrugged. ‘Poison the lot of them, Polly. I’m sure you’ve got something in that little bag of yours that’ll turn the trick.’

‘That’s not a very good idea, dear,’ I told her. ‘This is Arendia, and the bodyguards have families. If we kill them, you’ll both spend the rest of your lives looking back over your shoulders for somebody with a knife to come sneaking up behind you. I’ll take care of the bodyguards.’

‘When are we going to do this?’ Earl Mangaran asked.

‘Did you have anything planned for this evening, my Lord?’

‘Nothing that can’t be postponed. Aren’t we moving a little fast, though?’

‘I think we must, my Lord. This is Arendia, after all, and no plot here is secure for more than a few hours.’

True,’ he sighed. ‘Sad, but true.’

‘Be of good cheer, my Lord Duke,’ Asrana said roguishly. ‘I’ll comfort you while Polly does the dirty work.’

Chapter 14

History tends to gloss over revolutions, since they’re an indication of that disunity and internal strife that academics find distressingly messy. They do happen, however, and Arendia’s the perfect place for them. I take a certain pride in the one I pulled off in Asturia that summer, because it might just be the only one that’s ever gone from inception to conclusion in a single day. That’s no mean trick in Arendia, where the people just love to drag things out. Arends are addicted to high drama, and that always takes time. If it hadn’t been for the presence of Krachack’s counterpart here in Vo Astur, we might have been able to move at a more leisurely pace, but all it would have taken to make the whole thing crumble in my hands would have been a change word in the wrong place at the wrong time.

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