“It is. What about your caseload?”
“I’ll take one day at a time. If things become unmanageable…”
“Let me know. We’ll work something out. You’re referring more cases than you’d like and I’m building a practice. I think we could help each other.”
She cocked her head to one side. “Really? You aren’t even sure you like me.”
If you only knew. His mind reminded him of how little time she had spent with Alix in the past, of the custody case and her initial rejection of his plea for help. Yet no matter how strong his distrust, he sensed there was much more to Chelsie Russell than he’d seen so far. His body certainly wanted to know her better, and their time together would be a trial in the truest sense of the word.
Being close to Chelsie and not allowing desire to flare between them wouldn’t be easy. If he were smart, he’d make sure they spent only necessary time together, the hours needed for Alix’s well being and nothing more. So why did he find himself pushing for more than she wanted to give? Not a smart move, he silently cautioned. Especially because where she was concerned, he had no intention of giving in return.
So why had he even mentioned a business arrangement?
“Don’t rush into anything you’ll regret,” she cautioned, echoing his silent sentiments. “It’s one thing to have me around for an hour or so a day. Working together is a whole different story. This arrangement is meant to help Alix. It’s temporary.”
He knew that. He’d planned things that way. So why did her pragmatic insistence on a short-term arrangement bother him?
“Which brings me to my next point.”
“Anyone ever tell you you’re long winded?”
She grinned. “Every judge in family court.”
“I thought so.”
“Those obligations keep me busy two nights a week and some weekends.” She paused, obviously deliberating how much to tell him. “I volunteer at a women’s shelter downtown.”
He’d been expecting something more personal than volunteer work. Something akin to a jealous lover. Relief overwhelmed him, followed by frustration. What she did with her free time was none of his concern. He knew better than to care. He admired her dedication, but wondered at her initial reticence to discuss the subject. Helping others was nothing to be ashamed of, and it enabled him to rethink his opinion of her selfish nature.
Griff did not want another reason to like Chelsie or want her around. He cleared his throat. “I have no intention of interfering with your life. I appreciate the help, however much or little you can give. Your tour of duty will be over before you know it,” he said, forcing a laugh.
She didn’t laugh with him, testament to how difficult this entire situation had become for both of them.
“Before we make this definite, think about what you’re asking,” she said. “What happens when you decide Alix is doing well enough that you can throw me out of her life again?” she asked.
He winced at the blunt way she’d phrased her thoughts. Had he been that callous with her? Of course he had. “You’re her aunt. Why don’t we take things one day at a time, as you said?”
Chelsie shook her head. “She’s a child. One who’s lost both parents,” she said gently. “You can’t toss people in and out of her life and expect her to adjust.”
Again he’d underestimated her. When Chelsie cared, she cared deeply. No one had ever focused that sort of emotional attention on him, and Griff had little time or understanding for deep-seated affection. Ryan’s constant friendship and, until recently, Griff’s relationship with his brother’s family were the only exceptions. Thanks to his guardianship of Alix, he’d been thrown into the fire, but it was impossible not to give back to a little girl who gave everything and needed even more. But children were different, unjaded—until they grew up and learned to manipulate.
But here was Chelsie, fighting for her sister’s child, showing love Griff hadn’t even known she had in her. Glancing over, he wondered how it would feel to be the recipient of such unconditional love. Wonder all you want, buddy. You’ll never know. He’d been trampled on twice. Only a fool set himself up for a third time.
Still, he admired Chelsie’s foresight He had only thought as far as bringing her into their lives, not edging her out. For some reason, he didn’t want to dwell on the end of a relationship they hadn’t even begun. “We’ll work things out,” he heard himself say. He had no idea how.
She leaned forward, gesturing with her hands as she spoke. “People aren’t made of stone, counselor. They can’t suffer loss upon loss and be expected to cope. You can’t dictate how they live their lives.” She sat back against the couch and crossed her arms over her chest.
He narrowed his eyes. Just who was she talking about? Alix, obviously. He already sensed her innate feelings for the little girl, and he wouldn’t deny Chelsie visits. Surely she knew that.
That left Chelsie herself. Without a better road map to her feelings, he couldn’t figure out where to go from here. “Just what do you want me to say?” he asked.
“If I’m going to have any part in this, I need to know I’ll have a say in how things end. That when I stop coming by on an almost daily basis, she won’t think she’s been abandoned again.” Her voice cracked under the strain of her emotions.
From the determined look on her face, Griff knew unless he came up with a satisfactory answer, she’d walk out and find a way to see her niece on her own. But he found himself at a loss.
Was he prepared to give her a role in deciding what was best for Alix? That necessitated a leap of faith in Chelsie he wasn’t sure he was prepared to make. He’d just lost an internal struggle and accepted the notion that he needed her help, accepted her presence in their lives, if not his strong desire to know her better.
She claimed to want a say in when and how they parted. An innocuous idea, in and of itself. But what if he wanted to end their arrangement before she felt it was time? Worse, what if he and Alix weren’t ready when Chelsie decided to call it quits? His mother had walked out. So had Deidre.
He looked at the woman sitting across from him, her angular jaw set, her fists clenched, and her dark eyes full of emotion. She already affected him on too many levels. Could he give her the power to hurt him as well?
Alix cried out in her sleep. Griff jumped to his feet, but she’d quieted again. He’d need to check on her in a minute.