How much more pain would he cause her? “Go on,” he said softly, hoping to somehow calm her down. Distress couldn’t be good for the baby or its mother.
“Forget it” She blinked at the moisture forming in her eyes. A lone tear trickled down her face and the truth settled in his gut.
He could do many things. Forgetting what she’d been about to say wasn’t one of them. “You were listing your losses. Your parents, Tony... and who else?”
“Janine,” she said quickly, averting her gaze.
“True, but it’s not who you meant.” Kevin had no desire to torture her any more than he wanted to bring the issue to light. But if he and Nikki didn’t resolve their night together once and for all, her pain, resentment, and anger would eat her alive.
He might deserve to be horsewhipped for leaving her, but she needed to expunge her anger. Then they’d have to find a way to go on.
He placed a finger beneath her chin and raised her head until their eyes met “Who else, Nicole?”
“You,” she spat. “You left me too.” Eyes blazing, cheeks also on fire, yet Nikki held her own. He was proud of her. Maybe they’d come to terms with each other yet.
“And each time you say or do something like this...” She gestured around the sterile room. “You tear me apart all over again. I won’t have it, Kevin. Do you want to know why I’m here?”
Not trusting himself to speak, he merely nodded.
“For prenatal care. Where else would I go for basic visits? I don’t have insurance, I can’t afford a private doctor...” Her shoulders shook as she spoke, testament to the effort this confrontation was taking.
He knew how difficult this trip must have been for her alone. He’d had a hell of a time finding the clinic and he wasn’t afraid to venture down side streets and alleys.
He wrapped an arm around her and led her back to the examining table. Her soft skin brushed his fingers, and her tantalizing scent touched his heart. She sat down and inhaled deeply.
She had enough strength for both of them, he thought. He took some of her courage and drew it into himself. From now on though, she’d lean on him. He’d see to it.
“If you’d been willing to sit down with me and talk, we could have resolved some of those issues instead of you having to turn to clinical care. Alone.”
“Why would I sit down with you? You walked out once. Even if you’re here to stay now, and for the record, I believe you are—”
“You do?”
She sighed. “You’re a good man, Kevin. That’s half the problem. You’ll be here for the baby. I know you wouldn’t abandon your child. But there’s no way in hell I’ll rely on you again.”
Before he could respond, the door creaked open on old hinges. “Everything okay in here?” the doctor asked.
“‘Yes,” Nikki answered.
“Then if you don’t mind, we have to get started. I have patients waiting and I’m running late as it is.”
“Come on in.” He spared a glance at Nikki’s pale, drawn face.
“Weren’t you just leaving?” she asked.
He shook his head. “It’s our baby’s heartbeat, Nicole. I’m not going anywhere.”
* * *
Nikki had protested, but Kevin drove her home from the clinic. They drove in silence. Given the many confusing thoughts she was having, she figured he was lost in thought too.
When they passed by one of the local colleges, Nikki’s gaze was drawn to the wide-open spaces and people milling about. “I’d like to get out here.”
“Here?” He slowed the car. “Why?”
“I need air, space, time to think. I want to walk and feel the breeze against my face. I want to deal with everything I’ve learned in the last couple of days. Alone,” she added softly.
He hesitated, but slowed the car even more.
“I’m an adult. I can take a walk and grab the subway home. I can even take a cab if it makes you feel better, but please give me the space and respect I need.”
He pulled into the first open space on the side of the road. “Do you have money on you?”
“Do you think I’m a complete incompetent? I’ll be fine. I just want some time.”
He nodded. “Then you’ve got it”
“Thank you.” She got out of the car, slamming the door behind her. She didn’t look back to see if Kevin watched or pulled away.
She walked for an hour on the Boston Common, watching the college kids alternatively lounging and studying by the water. Young and carefree. She used to be like them. She shook her head. She’d been one of them, yes. But like them? Maybe not. She’d always felt older than her years—due in part to the constant need to challenge her family’s concept that she was their baby.
And now she was having one of her own. With her hand over her stomach, she turned and headed toward the T—Boston’s subway system—to take her home. She took her seat and the ride passed in a blur, as she was still dazed by the morning at the clinic, and the sonogram picture in her purse.
No sooner did she get inside the apartment building and up the stairs, when what sounded like hammering reached her ears. She rounded the corner and came to her apartment. Curious, she walked faster.
She headed down the hall to find her door open wide, and Kevin on his knees, tools spread around him as he worked to replace the lock he’d damaged during his earlier break-in.
She came up behind him and leaned close. The heavenly scent of aftershave assaulted her senses. “Hi,” she whispered in his ear.
He jumped back and the screwdriver went flying out of his hand. “Damn, you shouldn’t sneak up on someone like that. Especially a man with a sharp object,” he muttered.
Nikki grinned, happy to have gotten the upper hand, even over something so trivial. It gave her hope for the future.
He grabbed for the wayward screwdriver. “The least you could do is say thank you,” he muttered.
“Thank you. But I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that I wouldn’t need the lock changed if someone hadn’t overreacted.”
“Don’t remind me.”
She stepped around him, intending to head inside her apartment. Instead she turned and knelt down beside him. “We have to come to some sort of agreement. A meeting of the minds.”
“What kind of agreement?” he asked.
“You have to let me live my life,” she said, thinking of their earlier argument in the doctor’s office.