I shake my head. “I don’t.”
He exhales a long breath. “Yeah. Well, it was worth a shot.” He turns to go.
“Wait. I meant I don’t have plans.” I draw a deep breath and remind myself I don’t do pathetic. But this is Zach, and he knows everything. “There’s no one here for me but you,” I say.
His green eyes flash with anger on my behalf. I recognize that look because I’ve seen it in his gaze so many times before. It’s that realization that allows me to hope.
He’s here, after all. And I’ve been miserable. Could there be more between us than revenge? Can I forgive him if there is?
“Can I take you somewhere to celebrate?” He’s hesitant, bracing himself for rejection.
I draw a deep breath and nod. “I’d like that.”
We’re back to uncomfortable and wary around each other, and I don’t like it. Does that mean I’m breaking down and forgiving him already?
I turn in my cap and gown and meet him at the parking lot. We settle into his truck. The warm, familiar scent of his cologne wraps around me, and he starts to drive. I don’t ask where we’re going, but soon I see we’re headed out of the city, upstate.
I turn to him, confused. “I don’t get it.”
“You will.”
I blow out an impatient breath, which makes him laugh.
“I missed you,” he says, suddenly serious.
I glance at my hands. “I missed you too. But I don’t understand—” I cut myself off. What can I say? I don’t understand what between us was real and what was a lie? What was forced and what meant something to him?
Because it was all true for me, and it meant everything. I swallow over the lump in my throat.
“Revenge is a lot easier in theory than in reality,” he says into the silence.
I remain quiet.
“I wanted to avenge what he did to my sister. I wanted to make sure he never forgot that he destroyed someone good and real. Someone who meant something to other people.”
I nod. I couldn’t speak if I wanted to, and right now I don’t.
“Once I decided you were the one I needed to get close to, I looked into you. I had a plan. But as I watched you at work, I knew you were special. I couldn’t bring myself to make a move. And I couldn’t bring myself to walk away. Both for my sister’s sake and because I was drawn to you.” He flexes his fingers around the wheel, opening and closing his hand.
“Then I was attacked.” I can figure out that much.
“I couldn’t stand to see that bastard’s hands on you. I went crazy.”
I close my eyes. “I remember.”
“And then I got to know you. Really know you. You weren’t just beautiful but you were good. I wanted to get to know you better … for me. Everything between us was real,” he says.
I choke back a low moan. I needed to hear that so badly. I open my eyes. Tears are dripping down my cheeks, and I wipe them with the back of my hand.
“But?” I ask. Because I know there’s more. He installed the cameras, so obviously there’s more.
“Just like I said, every time I let down my guard, every time I forgot I was supposed to have an agenda, something would happen to remind me. Ferro called you. He showed at the bar. I visited my sister. And was forced to remember.”
“And the cameras? The video?”
He groans. He pulls the car off an exit on the Hutchinson River Parkway. The sign says Town of Scarsdale. I’m vaguely aware that we’re now in a wealthy area.
My brain is scrambling to catch up with where he’s taking me and to keep him talking. “Zach?”
“The night I saw you and Ferro at the bar, I okayed the install. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I never am when it comes to him, and seeing him with you, it was like waving a red flag in front of an already enraged bull.”
I wrap my arms around myself, and he lowers the AC. “Chloe, just because the camera was there didn’t mean I would have let the video go viral. It was a stupid, impulsive act that night, just like yelling at you was. You were pissed at me, and I couldn’t stand it. I sent flowers, chocolate; I just wanted to make things right. When you agreed to come over, I wasn’t thinking about revenge or videos. I was just thinking about you. Me. Us.”
I want to believe him so badly. He’s done nothing to make me think he doesn’t care. Our meeting was set up but since then? What has he done except take care of me?
“Are all our secrets out in the open?” I ask.
He hesitates. “Almost.”
I swallow hard. “What could be left?”
He turns onto a tree-lined street where houses are hidden, and the ones I can catch a glimpse of are huge. “This is mine,” he says, turning into a nearly concealed driveway and pulling all the way through to a massive home built from stone, with a four-car garage attached.
He stops the truck, and I climb out without waiting for him. He joins me out front. “The Queens house?” I ask.
“My grandfather’s like I told you. He left it to me. I loved the old man, so I never sold it.”
“How do you afford this?” I sweep an arm toward the stone mansion in front of me.
“Like I told you, I dabble. I have my PI license, but I’m in business too. I did well with stocks and bonds, and now I do consulting from home.” He shrugs sheepishly.
“Why lie about it?” I ask him.
“Would you have trusted me if you thought I was wealthy like your parents? Or were you drawn to me because of all we had in common?”
I blink back tears again. “I was drawn to you. The guy in jeans and a tee shirt—”
“That is me. I’m dressed up today for your graduation. I didn’t want to embarrass you in front of everyone by showing up dressed like I didn’t give a damn when I do.”
“The guy who cooks—”
“Again, I do. You’ve seen it for yourself. I just have a much bigger kitchen here. State-of-the-art. I think the chef in you will love it.”
He pivots me around until I’m facing him, and he looks into my eyes. “You know me. All of me. More than anyone else in my life knows. I confided in you about Grace, and I don’t talk about her to anyone.”
I manage a nod. “I want to believe I can trust what I feel for you, but I’ve been burned badly.”
“By me too. I know this.” He grasps my wrists and holds on. “But I meant what I said that last night. I fell in love with you. And I’ve never said that before to anyone.”