“It’s not too late,” Tessa says. “You could still hire someone so we can just sit here and drink wine all night.”
“I’m with her.” I point in her direction and pick up a handful of ribbons. “I mean, look at these. How fiddly are they?”
Day studies it for a minute. She opens her mouth to speak, but my phone buzzing interrupts her. I pull it from my pocket and a grin spreads across my face when I see Tyler’s name on the screen.
“Be right back,” I tell the girls, skipping into Aaron’s office. “Hello?” I answer, a deep breath making me sound breathless.
“Hello yourself.” His voice wraps around me like a blanket, and I close my eyes to the sound of it.
“What took you so long to call?”
“My models are bitches. They kept the shoot running two hours over the time slot until they had pictures they were happy with. Naturally, every bad picture was my fault and not the fact they were just shit.”
“I thought you forgot about me,” I say softly.
“Never,” he replies firmly. “How can I forget you when I can’t stop bloody thinking about you?”
My lips twitch. “Touché.”
“I’m sorry, baby girl. I should have texted you earlier.”
“No, you shouldn’t have. I’m just being stupid.” I run my fingers through my hair. “I just… I miss you. That’s all.”
“I miss you, too.” A door shuts on his end.
“No… I mean, I miss you. Really badly.” I swallow and squeeze my eyes shut. “Please tell me you’ll be home in time to see me tomorrow night.”
He says nothing for a long moment. Every second he doesn’t speak, my stomach coils a little tighter.
“Tyler.”
“They canceled my second shoot today because of those two bitches. I have to do it tomorrow. Aaron’s on the phone to Dayton now. We might not make it back until Monday morning.”
I take a deep breath. “What? No.” I can’t wait that long to see him. Not when I need him so badly already.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m missing you, too.”
I swallow and bring my knees up. I drop my forehead to them and take a deep breath through my nose. The tears burn my eyes and I hate this. I hate this fucking weakness.
“Okay,” I say, my voice thick. “I’ll see you Monday, okay?”
“Shit, no, Liv. Don’t you dare hang up!” he shouts down the phone.
I bring it back to my ear. “What? Talking to you is making it worse.” My voice cracks on the last word.
“Don’t cry, baby girl. Please. Shit.” He lets out a quieter string of curses. “Don’t you dare cry when I’m not there to wipe your tears away.”
“I have to go, Ty.”
“I’ll be home tomorrow night, okay? I promise. I don’t care if I’m up all night. I’ll be there tomorrow.”
“Okay,” I whisper. “I’m going.”
“Liv!”
I don’t respond.
Then I hear, “Aaron, fuck your call. Get Day to see her now!”
I hang up then and drop the phone. My arms go around my legs and squeeze tight, and my whole body coils into a ball of aching need. The office door opens and I feel the softness of my best friend’s arms circling me.
She holds me, does nothing but hold me. The tears drop from my eyes onto my sweatpants, dotting the material with salty wetness.
“I hate this,” I whisper. “I fucking hate this. It’s killing me. I shouldn’t be able to need him this badly.”
I turn my face into Dayton and she sits on the sofa next to me. She rocks me gently, side to side, her cheek resting on top of my head.
“What did he do?” Tessa asks through my quiet sobs.
“Nothing, for once.” Dayton replies, and I feel her sad smile against the top of my head. “Want me to explain?” she whispers to me.
I nod.
“Liv is…addicted to love. Well, people, actually. It’s hard to explain, but this is only the second time she’s felt this way. She always avoided it, because the first time she was addicted to someone, some bad shit happened.” Day exhales slowly. “Tyler being Tyler, he forced his way in, and together, they’re insane. Their addictions mesh, Tessa. Him to her body and her to him in general. It’s both scary and fascinating to watch. They don’t even realize how good they are together.”
“Except we’re not,” I butt in, sitting up. I look at Tessa, my vision blurred. “We’re not good—not for each other. We are the very worst thing either of us needs because neither of us are strong enough to walk away. We’re stuck in an endless circle of craving and needing. His addiction feeds mine and mine feeds his. We are so fucking dangerous for each other, and every day, it gets worse because feelings get involved.”
“I missed something,” Day says quietly.
“It’s fucked. We are fucked, because if either of us was going to walk away, it was going to be me. But I can’t. Not now. I’m more than addicted to him,” I whisper. “Talking to him just now made me realize. Addiction hurts, but not this much. Addiction doesn’t slice your soul in two if you’re apart.”
My best friend takes a deep breath. I know. She knows.
I look Tessa in the eye, too afraid to meet my best friend’s gaze. “For some awful reason, I am completely in love with the guy. And emotion and addiction don’t go well together. It’s as painful as it is pleasurable, but I can’t stop.”
His twin stares at me. Her eyes give nothing away, her impassive face the perfect mask. Slowly, she steps toward me and crouches in front of me.
“If love doesn’t hurt, then you’re doing it wrong.” She reaches up and swipes her thumbs across my cheeks. “He is my brother and he is the biggest fucking arsehole I’ve ever met in my life, so I’m not just saying this for the sake of it, okay?”
I nod.
“He likes to think he’s big man protector where I’m concerned, but the guy couldn’t break the wings off a bloody fly.” She smiles. “He’s not perfect, Liv, and apparently, neither are you, but if anyone is going to love him, I’m glad it’s you. Maybe, when you both start living and stop fighting, you’ll see what I do.”
“What do you see? Because all I see right now is emptiness.”
“Put enough imperfections together and, eventually, you will achieve perfection. But even then, perfection is all about perspective. Maybe you and Tyler and your imperfections will make the kind of perfect you both need.” She cups my cheeks and kisses the top of my head. “Sit here, drink wine, and I will go and call my pain-in-the-arse twin to make sure he’s not taking a hammer to a door or something.”