“I don’t know his past and he doesn’t know mine.”
“Because you’re refusing to talk about it. Yeah, we talk. Just because we’re guys doesn’t mean we don’t talk about this shit. I called him a hundred times with Dayton—he’s more like my brother than anything. I know how he feels about you, Liv. He’s told me. And let me tell you, if you’d asked me six months ago if I ever thought he’d be this serious about a woman, I would have laughed at you.” His lips twitch. “I did laugh when he told me. I thought he was kidding, but he isn’t.”
“It’s not just a snap decision. I can’t clap my hands together and know. I’m not holding off to protect myself. I’m doing it to protect him.”
“Tyler’s a big boy. He can protect himself. I’ve seen him do it several times.”
I put my face in my hands then run my fingers through my hair. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m afraid to commit. There we go. I don’t know why I’m admitting it to you, but I’m afraid of the thing he wants.”
“The only way to beat your fears is to face them. Listen to me.” He rests his hand over mine on the table. “Day said your parents live nearby. Go and stay with them for a night. Get out of Seattle and be in a place where you can make your decision. It’s not fair to either of you.”
“I know.” I blink back a set of tears. Fucking things. “Will you tell Tyler where I am?”
“No. I’ll tell him you’ve gone out of town for a night, and that’s it.”
I nod. Going to visit my parents isn’t such a bad idea. I haven’t seen them in a few months, and maybe Aaron’s right. It could be exactly what I need.
Plus, I’ll have my mom. And despite her unnecessary worrying about my seeing a man in the mafia, she’s my mom.
And twenty-five or not, every girl needs their mom.
I sink into my dad’s embrace. Warm and familiar with the gentle scent of cigar smoke, it comforts me instantly. This will always be home—in his arms.
“Princess,” he says happily. “You didn’t say you were coming!”
I pull back and smile. “I didn’t know. It was an impulse thing.”
“Liv? Is that Liv?” Mom’s voice filters through the house. She gasps in delight and practically shoves Dad out of the way to get to me. “Baby! You’re home!”
“Hey…Mom,” I choke out as she squeezes me tight. Shit, the woman is fifty-two with the grip of a wrestler.
“Let up, Mare. Let the girl breathe.” Dad gently pulls her off me. “Do you have any bags in the car?”
I shake my head and lift my bag. “It’s just for a night. Needed to get away.”
Mom’s eyes instantly fill with worry. “Is everything okay, honey?”
I nod. “Yes. Yes. I just needed a break, you know?” I give her a look that says, We’ll talk later.
I don’t want to bring it up in front of my dad. If anyone was hit hard by my stupid suicide attempt, it was him. He was mad that he hadn’t been able to protect me. He felt for a long time like he’d failed me, and that’s not something I want him to ever feel again. I don’t want him to know that it still affects me now.
I want him to think I have my shit under control. I don’t like to lie to him, but if he doesn’t ask, I won’t tell. And if I don’t mention it, chances are he won’t ask.
“Okay. You’ll have to sleep in the spare room tonight. Nana’s here.”
Oh shit. “Crazy, forgetful Nana?” I groan.
Dad laughs. “She’s as batty as she always was. And she’s mentioned your name at least five times in the last hour.”
“Shit. I should have called,” I sigh, walking into the house.
“I heard that, ya little shit! It’s my mind that’s goin’. Not my hearing!”
I shuffle into the conservatory sheepishly and bend to give the old woman a cuddle. “Hey, Nana. How are you?”
“I’m good, good. Batty as I always was!” She shoots Dad a fondly annoyed look, and he laughs.
“Great. Now why are you sleeping in my bed?” I wink at Mom.
“Because the spare room is shit,” she says matter-of-factly. “The mattress is like a wooden plank.”
“Nice of you to save it for me.”
“If I knew you were coming, I would have waited until next week,” she retorts.
“I’m wishing I’d called ahead.”
“You should have. It would have given me time to get the hell out of here.” She winks at me exaggeratedly, adding a wide-mouthed smile for a good measure.
“I’ll book you a flight now then!” I laugh. “Get packing, old woman.”
She grabs a mint from the pack on the arm of her chair and throws it at me. “Mary, didn’t I teach you to respect your elders? Why didn’t you pass it on to your daughter?”
“I respect you, Nana,” I say innocently. “I just have way more fun f**king with you.”
“Olivia!” Mom gasps over Nana’s loud laughter.
“Well, what your mother didn’t teach you, I sure did.” She winks again. “Oh, Mare, don’t be so strait-laced. I heard you out there swearing at the casserole earlier. What was it you said? ‘Stupid f**king casserole dish being so f**king damn hot!’ Amongst others.”
Mom blushes appropriately. “I went to put it back in the oven without my gloves. It slipped out.”
I give her a pointed look. “Yes, Mom. We all believe it slipped out.” I roll my eyes.
“Speaking of casserole,” Nana says. “Is it ready yet? My stomach is digesting itself.”
“It should be. Come out to the kitchen and we’ll see.” Mom strides out of the room.
I cross the sizable room and help Nana from her chair.
“Thanks, dear.” She pats my arm. “Oh, you should probably know I’m sleeping in your room. The spare bed is f**king terrible.”
I open my mouth to tell her that she’s already told me, but instead, I smile. God love her.
27
“You look like you have a face slapped with a wet fish,” Nana says. “Have you been salmon fishing?”
“It’s not salmon season, Nana,” I reply. “And I don’t fish.”
“Not salmon season? It flamin’ well is! Bit cold for July though. Hey, Steve. Put the heat on. I’m turning into a snowman.”