“Won’t your baby’s mom care?”
“In,” he orders me, shoving the car door open.
I don’t need telling twice. I throw myself into the car and he slams the door. He runs around the front, shoving a photographer out of the way, and gets in the driver side. He revs the engine in seconds, but it doesn’t drown out their shouted questions.
He pulls away from the diner. “We’ll have to go to my house. Your car will have to stay there. I’ll get you a rental.”
“No point,” I mutter, sliding down in my seat. “They’ll probably know my name, address, and fucking bra size by morning.”
He doesn’t respond because he knows it’s the truth. They’ll run the pictures and try to get as much information about the blonde girl with the scandal-surrounded singer. That’s all that will matter to them.
Who am I? And am I his baby’s mom?
I bring my legs up and sink my fingers into my hair, dropping my forehead to my knees. I knew this was a bad idea. I fucking told him so, and he didn’t listen to me.
Every person with ovaries knows who Conner is. They were obviously going to tip off the media at some point. To think we could walk out unscathed was idiotic.
I don’t talk to him as he drives. I don’t say a word, despite him attempting to prompt conversation several times. He eventually gives up, and we drive in silence until we’re five minutes out of town and his phone rings.
He puts it on speaker and rests it on his lap. “What now?”
“What the hell are you doin’, Conner? In public?” a woman’s voice shrieks down the phone.
He grits his teeth. “Fuck off, Jenna. Don’t forget who employs you.”
“Your brother employs me, you dumbass!” she replies, still shouting. “Couldn’t you have a picnic on the beach or something?”
“Picnics aren’t my style.”
“No, evidently media circuses are.”
“What can I say? I enjoy a few tricks.”
“I can’t believe you were so careless,” Jenna says. “You better be comin’ home, because I’m not the only one with a few things to say to you.”
I hear you, girl.
“I’m here now.” He blares the horn to get the media to move off the driveway and drives up it.
His security guys push them back as they surge, and a couple trip in the scramble. Good. Assholes.
Conner hangs up and opens his door. “Don’t look at them. Keep your head down and run into the house.”
I look up and the front door opens. Conner grabs me to him as I exit the car, and I shove him off me, running into the house.
Now I can be mad. Now that we’re here, in semi-private, I can be mad as hell.
“What were you thinkin’?” Tate yells at us. “So much for a secret!”
“Don’t you even think about pinnin’ this on me!” I shout back. “It wasn’t my smart idea. Talk to Mr. Bright Idea behind me!”
I shove past him into the kitchen, where a twenty-something girl I assume is Jenna is waiting.
She stands and holds out her hand. “Sofie, I presume.”
“That’s me. Oh, look, I’m famous already.” I shake her hand and shoot a look at Conner over my shoulder.
“Look, you’ve got the wrong idea.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “We just went to talk in private. We can’t with Mila around.”
“Bullshit. You could have gone down to the beach,” Tate says. “You didn’t have to go out in public.”
“What’s that? Oh, it’s déjà vu!” I snap.
Conner hits me with an angry look. “You didn’t exactly stand your ground.”
“We didn’t speak yesterday. I didn’t particularly want to speak to you today, either!”
“So why did you?”
“Because I wasn’t going to argue in front of Mila!”
“But you will now?”
“Yes! Because now that she’s not here I can tell you how fuckin’ mad I am at you for this crappy stunt and how much of an ignorant, hotheaded asshole you are!”
“Wow, Sof, why don’t you tell me how you really feel?” He holds his arms out.
“You want that? Fine. I wish I never came back. I wish I’d stayed in Charlotte with Mila, because this isn’t what I wanted!” My voice is hoarse from yelling, but I can’t stop. “I came back because I thought it was for the best, but I was wrong. God, I was wrong. I never should have brought her back here.”
He falters for just a moment. “So you wish you’d kept her from me for longer? Wow, take home the Mom of the Fuckin’ Year award.”
I inhale sharply, his words cutting through me. My heart pounds, each beat a stab of pain. “Fuck you,” I say, stepping back toward the door. “Fuck you, Conner Burke.”
I pull the door open and storm through it.
“Shit. Sofie. Shit! Wait!”
I jump down the porch, ignoring the steps, and run toward the woods. To the place that holds memories of midnight kisses and roaring afternoon arguments. Where we spent almost every second, hidden in the darkness of the trees.
“Sof, I didn’t mean that!”
“No!” I turn at the edge of the woods and lower my voice. “That’s it. I’m done. The only time I want to see you is if you’re having Mila over. Your mom can bring her back to your house tonight. I’ll get her in the morning.”
“What?”
“We can’t do it like this. We keep fightin’, and I can’t do that. Mila’s yours whenever you want her, but I don’t want to have anything to do with you anymore.”
I turn and run into the woods, regretting every word but meaning it with my whole heart. It’s not fair to either of us, and it’s not fair to Mila.
I won’t deny him her, but I’ll sure as hell deny him me.
And I’ll deny myself him, too.
I watch her go, completely helpless in the face of her leaving me once again.
Why did I have to say that? Why the fuck did I have to be such a bastard? She didn’t deserve that.
She took Mila from me, yes. But she’s the one that’s been there. She’s kissed sore knees and wiped dirty faces. She’s spent endless hours rocking my daughter to sleep, running on empty, wondering if she’ll catch a nap. She’s taught her to walk and talk and every other amazing thing she can do. She’s been there twenty-four-fucking-seven, day and night, morning and evening.