I need to be close to him. I need him to be close to me.
And both of us need to not let go.
Chapter Sixteen
SAM
“Are you sure?” Mum asks, putting her hand on the door.
“Am I sure she’s gonna freak out and kick my ass? One hundred percent,” I answer, looking into her soft brown eyes. “But I’m also sure that out of every girl I’ve ever been with, no-one is as perfect for me as Jen.”
Mum’s lips curve into a smile slowly and she opens the door. “Then let’s find you “the one.””
I follow her into the jewellers, apprehensive but sure of the decision I’m making. I still have the burning desire to prove it to Jen – that this is it, that she is it. I still have the burning desire to prove it to the rest of the world.
I know that when I find the ring and hand over my card to pay for it I’m making a commitment before it’s even in Jen’s possession. I know that when I have a little box safely tucked away in my pocket there’s no going back.
And that’s how I want it. I don’t want to go back to the ass**le I was this time last year. I don’t want to go back to being the guy wanting but never having. I want to carry on being the smug bastard that’s in love with the craziest, most beautiful girl I know.
And that’s why this ring has to be perfect. It has to be everything Jen is. Not flashy, not cheap-looking, and not in your face, because that’s not her, not really. It needs to be delicate yet strong, gorgeous, and breath-taking.
This ring needs to encompass the way I feel whenever I see her.
It’s only been three days since we made up, and we’re not perfect, we might never be perfect, but I know this is the right decision. Is it impulsive? Yes. Is it crazy? Yes. But it’s right, so that doesn’t matter.
My eyes scan across the display case. There are a hundred different designs and styles, but none in this case are right. I keep looking, taking in thousands of pounds worth of jewellery, dismissing each piece.
“Any luck?” Mum asks softly, appearing next to me.
I shake my head. “Nothing in this case. They’re not…” I trail off, not knowing what words to use.
“They’re not Jen,” Mum agrees. “She needs something a little more special.” She hooks her hand inside my elbow and guides me across the shop. “This was your Gram’s favourite jewellery shop. The last time she came to London, she fell in love with two rings, but they were both too expensive for her to buy there and then. I promised her I’d buy them one day for her, and she told me not to be so silly. She put small deposits on both of them and by the time she died, she’d paid them off.”
Mum waves towards a clerk, and I frown a little. “Right. And you’re telling me this because…?”
The clerk reappears, placing two boxes on the counter in front of us. She opens the boxes, revealing two rings.
“They never left this shop, and nor were they meant to leave with her. She fell in love with these rings for you kids. One for you to give when you finally fell in love, and one to be given to the person who fell in love with your sister. When the time is right, Alec will be brought here, too.”
My eyes are drawn immediately to the one on the right. The vintage swirl design on either side of the round diamond scream “Jen” to me. The diamond isn’t big and it isn’t small. It’s just right. It’s everything I imagined but couldn’t put into words for her.
“Can I?” I glance at the clerk, gesturing to the boxes.
“Of course, Sir.”
I pick up the box holding the ring, tilting it slightly so the diamond sparkles in the overhead light. “How did Gram know?”
“I think she took a lucky guess.” Mum smiles.
“I’m sure she died knowing exactly what was going to happen, and feeling very smug about it, too,” I muse, gently touching the ring. “How did she know the exact rings to pick?”
“She said her heart called out to them, and she knew they had to be in her family one day.” Mum sighs softly. “She was too smart for her own good, Mum was.”
I nod in agreement and look at Mum, a grin creeping onto my face. “Then it’s time the crazy old bat got to see one make its way into the family, huh?”
Mum holds her hand out for the box and I give it to her. She examines the ring closely, her eyes flicking backwards and forwards over it. The lid closes beneath her fingers and she hands the box to the clerk with a brisk nod.
“The other one can go back into storage for now, thank you.” Mum turns to me, patting my arm. “I think you’re right, there, son. And you’re right. It’s the perfect ring for Jen.”
I half-smile and look at the other ring. “Do you think Alec will take that one for Lexy?”
“He will when he hears what cut it is.” Mum smirks.
“Why, what is it?”
“Princess cut.”
I smirk along with Mum. “Goddamn, Gram really hit the nail on the head with these, didn’t she?”
The clerk hands me the box in a bag and we thank her.
“That she did – and if you didn’t take the ring, I have no doubt she would have hit you on the head.” Mum laughs. “Dead or not, she would have found a way to do it.”
“I really wouldn’t be surprised,” I say wryly. “She’s probably concocting a plan now to knock me on the head for taking so damn long about it.”
“On that note… When are you going to pop the question?”
“That, Mother, dearest…” I wrap an arm around her shoulders. “…Is a bloody good question.”
~
Lexy sighs, climbing onto the garden chair next to Jen and tucking her legs beneath her. “I don’t know how to help him. Every year it’s the same… Every year for this one day I feel completely helpless.” Her voice is weak, and I can hear the hurt echoing in it.
“It’s hard to understand his pain. Alec and his Dad… They were close,” Jen explains softly. “They were like… Siamese twins close. Whether it was surfing, fishing, whatever, they did it together. The night his Dad died, a little piece of him died, too. This is the one day each year he allows himself, the one day each year he lets himself really feel that loss.”
“I wish I could take it away from him,” Lexy whispers, laying her head on the back of the chair. “I can’t imagine his pain. I wish I could at least share it with him so it wouldn’t be such a burden.”