“Ah.”
Jen raises her eyebrows in agreement. “When exactly am I supposed to find two frickin' hours out of my day to Skype him? Is text messaging dead?”
I snort. “You sound like you're from the future.”
“I'm being serious. I can't exactly do coursework and talk to him on Skype, can I?” She shakes her head. “Ridiculous.”
“S'pose. At least he's trying though.” I shrug again.
“He's definitely trying,” she responds, following it up with a sigh. “I just don’t know how we’ll get through this if we can’t compromise.”
“You always knew it would be hard.”
“Yeah.” She grins suddenly. “Well, I guess something in this relationship has to be hard, huh?”
I laugh out loud, and nudge her with my elbow. “You have such a dirty mind.”
“I learnt from the best.” She shrugs.
“In other words, you learnt from Alec.”
“Mhmm.”
“You know,” I muse as we stop at the bus stop. “It really is amazing you and Bing don’t get along. I mean, you have so much in common.”
Jen spins to me, her eyes spitting fire. “I have about as much in common with your brother as a rat does with a bluebird.”
“No, just listen,” I say, stifling my smile. “You’re both sarcastic, you’re both sexually obsessed with dirty minds, and you both have an irrational hate of each other. Actually, you’re a bit like an old married couple.”
Jen sputters, and it’s one of the only times I’ve ever seen her speechless. “You are kidding.”
“No.”
“I hate you.”
I grin and bump her with my shoulder. “Love you.”
~
“I’m not Skyping, Carl,” Jen huffs down the phone. “Why? Because I don’t have the time… Yes, I know I’ve only been at uni for a day… And what’s your point?”
Bing appears in the doorway of my room, looks at Jen stretched on my bed, and smirks. I shoot him a warning look, shaking my head. He grins.
“Whatever… Yeah, you too.” Jen drops her phone on the floor. She lifts her head and stares straight at Bing. “Say one word, Samuel, one word, and it’ll be your bloody last.”
“Trouble in paradise?” he asks cockily.
“I warned you!” She sits up, pointing her finger at him.
“Hey!” He holds his hands up. “That was three words.”
She narrows her eyes at him, staring him down. “You, sir, are a berk.”
I smile, fighting my laughter.
“What the f**k is a “berk”?” Bing raises an eyebrow.
“You are a berk. A berk is you.” Jen shrugs. “I thought that summed it up.”
My brother frowns, staring at her for a second. He shakes his head, turning to me. “I saw that berk Adrian earlier.” He glances at Jen. “He kept questioning me about Alec.”
“Are you serious?”
“Do I look like I’m joking?”
I groan, and drop my head to my desk. “What did he ask?”
“He wanted to know what Alec did, where he came from, and if he was, and I quote, “hard or a pu**y boy with no balls”.”
“This coming from the guy who uses concealer?” I sit back up.
“Apparently,” Bing replies dryly. “I just thought you’d like to know. And, don’t forget, Dad’s birthday party this weekend. Mum has been texting me every ten minutes asking me if I’d reminded you yet.” He rolls his eyes.
“Why didn’t she ask me herself?”
“I don’t know.” He looks at me in exasperation. “I’m not a f**kin’ mind reader, Lex, and I am not an owl.”
“Did you just quote Harry Potter?” Jen laughs. “You did. Since when did you watch Harry Potter?” I grin.
“Bing has loved Harry Potter since the first book came out. It’s his secret guilty pleasure.”
“Not so secret anymore.” Jen smiles slyly.
Bing’s face hardens. “Jennifer Mason, you tell anyone about that and I swear to God, I will creep into your flat at night, and string your underwear across town.”
“Oh, honey.” She tsks. “Get some originality. I mean, didn’t Vi already do that to you? Those pink boxers were hot, by the way.” She winks. I laugh and get up, grabbing my phone.
“I’m going to text Mum about our dresses, then call Alec.” I pat Bing’s arm. “Jen’s got you there, bro.”
“Wait, dresses?” Jen perks up.
“Yep.” I look over my shoulder. “Did you really think you weren’t coming?”
“But I have no-one to go with.”
I grin at Bing. He grits his teeth and looks at Jen.
“Surprise,” he forces out.
“What?!” She shrieks.
“I’ll, uh, be back… Maybe never.” I mutter, running away.
JEN
I stand, walking towards Bing. “Tell me this is some kind of ass wiping joke?”
“I wish,” he replies, looking down at me. “Believe me, spending my evening with you wasn’t in my plan.”
“So change it,” I hiss. “There is no way I’m spending all of Saturday night smiling and hanging onto your arrogant arm, Samuel!” Although, it is a very pretty arm.
He sighs. “Look, Jennifer, I don’t exactly want you on my arm, but it’s too late to change it. Mum has already ordered matching outfits.”
“Are you f**king kidding?” I deadpan. “Not only do I have to go with you, everyone will know I’m with you because, what? Your tie will match my dress?”
“Oh, and there’s the brains she used to get into university,” he responds snarkily. “Yes, Jen. My tie is the same material and colour as your dress. Believe me, I’m not damn happy.”
I heave in a breath. “This is gonna be as about as successful as Hades in the North Pole.” I throw my arms up, and turn back to Lexy’s bed. I throw myself face down on it.
“I wouldn’t lie like that,” Bing says. “You have no idea what’s happened on that bed.”
I get back up, and growl. I push past him, moving to stomp down the stairs.
“Hey, I was just saying!” he calls, following me.
“Go away, Samuel. I want to see you as much as I want a shard of glass in my ass.”