I don't know when she made the transition from sexy to beautiful in my mind, or when she became a need instead of a want. I missed when she switched from a one night girl to a forever girl. My forever girl.
She doesn't trust me. I'm not stupid and I'm not blind. Unless I can prove I care, she won't touch me with a ten foot barge pole and I don't blame her. I'm not perfect.
I'm not perfect enough for her but I don't care, not anymore.
I want her to take a chance on me.
I step up to the wall and let my arm brush hers gently. Her eyelashes fan out around her eyes, framing them in a natural kind of perfection. I've distracted her from what she was thinking about.. Even if she won't show it.
ALEXIS
I ignore the goose pimples his touch evokes, but it's kinda hard.
''It's lovely here.'' He looks at me.
''Yeah. I was just remembering when we used to come here.'' Seagulls fly overhead, squawking and looking for their next meal.
''Maybe I wasn't talking about the view.''
I can feel his eyes burning holes in the side of my head, but I won't look, I won't, I won't..
I give in to the compelling feeling and turn my face towards him slightly.
''You look lovely just standing there, that tiny smile on your face.'' He picks my hand up and links his baby finger with mine. I look at our hands. His are bigger, more tanned from working in Gram's garden and surfing.
''You're really laying it on thick today, aren't you?'' I laugh and take my hand back.
''Lexy, I don't wanna get in your pants. Well I do, but not like that. Oh hell,'' he hisses out a breath.
''First time for everything, then, Alec?'' There's an almost bitter tone to my voice as I refuse to make eye contact.
''Clearly Jen has been embellishing,'' he mutters to himself. ''Lexy, I know you're not like the girls around here, and I'm not just looking for one good night. I haven't slept with half as many people round here as you think I have.''
I open my mouth to argue with him but he stops me.
''Just listen. I won't deny that I'm attracted to you - immensely - but I don't want just one night with you. I want you to give me a chance, get to know me. I'm not as bad as you think, I swear.''
I make eye contact despite my best efforts, and he's deadly serious. His eyes are practically begging me to give him a chance, and I want to, oh how I want to.
But giving him a chance means opening myself to him in return, and I know when that happens he'll get under my skin. It's so much easier to think of him as a flirt, a lad, someone I should keep at arms length. If he's at arms length he can't wriggle under my defences towards my heart.
I know that's what will happen. If I give him a chance I may as well stand on the rooftop and shout 'hey, Alec, come and break my heart!' at the top of my voice. I don't know if I'm ready for that.
The fact we've only known each other a week doesn't matter much anymore. The thought hits me suddenly and I recall Bing's words. You need to loosen up a bit. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and sigh it out. Damn my brother to hell and back on a rocket.
''One chance, Alec,'' I say quietly, looking into his eyes. ''If you can prove to me you're not a man whore, then I'll forget everything Jen has told me about you.''
His face transforms and he smiles widely. His dimples make an appearance and I feel a bit of my resolve melt. I know I've just made a mistake, giving him that chance.
''You have a deal.'' He takes my hand and steps back. ''My lady, would you allow me to escort you to the upcoming nuptials?''
I put my other hand over my mouth and laugh into it as he bows to me. A nod is all I can manage.
He stands and whoops loudly. ''She said yes!'' he shouts, much to the delight of passer bys.
I gasp and slap his arm. ''You're such an idiot!''
''Sorry,'' he laughs. ''I couldn't resist.''
I look at him and I can't contain my amused smirk. He bumps my shoulder with his.
''Come on, Princess, it was a little bit funny.'' He grins.
''Maybe a little..'' I try to contain my laughter.
''You know it was...'' He pulls a silly face and I let my laughter go.
''You're so stupid,'' I manage through my laughter.
''I know.'' He wraps his arm around me and leads me towards the fish and chip shop. ''Dinner is on me.''
~
''What day is it?'' Gram asks me, peering at the calendar.
''It's Wednesday, and your glasses are on the kitchen side,'' Mum replies, kissing Gram's head as she walks past her.
''You seem a bit forgetful lately, Gram,'' I comment.
Dad peers at us over the top of his newspaper.
''It's old age, Lexy girl.'' She chuckles and puts her glasses on. ''Happens to the best of us. Why, Mabel forgot her bingo pen on Sunday night! Caused quite a stir in the Bingo hall, I'll tell you.''
''Is that why you won?'' I grin.
''Why you cheeky little..'' She swats me and I sidestep out of the way laughing. ''Probably was, dear. I won't complain though!''
''How much did you win?'' Dad asks her.
''Fifty pounds,'' she says proudly.
I snicker and Dad claps.
''Drinks on you then, Vi!''
''Si!'' Mum admonishes. ''Don't encourage her. Me and Lexy have already hidden the Vino.''
''Not very well,'' Grammy cackles and waggles a finger at her. ''It's in the cupboard under the stairs. I might forget the day and where I put my glasses but you lived with me for eighteen years, sugar-pie, and you've been hiding things there since you were a year old.''
I make a buzzer sound. ''That is the wrong answer.''
Gram looks at us, shocked. ''You mean it's not there?''
''Don't be silly, mother,'' Mum laughs. ''Lexy hid it.''
''Yep, and I'd love to see you climb the chimney!'' I laugh.
''You didn't!'' Grammy puts a hand to her chest.
''You're so gullible.'' I bend over the chair laughing. ''Of course I didn't put it up the chimney.''
''They tipped it down the sink instead!'' Dad teases her.
''You horrible children,'' she clucks. ''Tormenting a poor, defenceless, little old lady.''
''Defenceless! Ha!'' Dad puts his paper down and sits back in his chair. ''I seem to remember you're lethal with a handbag, Violet.''
Gram gets a thoughtful look on her face.
''I get the feeling there's a story here somewhere.'' I look between her and my parents.
''Oh there is.'' Mum stirs her tea and leans against the kitchen counter. ''We were what, fifteen?'' She looks at Dad.
''Sixteen, I believe,'' he corrects her. Mum nods.
''You were. I think I was still fifteen. Anyway.'' She focuses on me. ''We'd been out to Ilfracombe to see a show at the Landmark and then dinner afterwards. It was at some all you can eat buffet, and we'd stuffed ourselves silly. Anyway, I was a little bloated and when we got back, your grandmother took one look at me and accused your father of getting me pregnant. We were so shocked by her words he didn't see her handbag come flying towards him.''