“I’m sorry, Brian. I’m not feeling well,” Rachel said.
“What’s wrong?” Brian asked.
She couldn’t stand there and look at him for one more second. She wanted him desperately, but not in a normal way. She couldn’t explain it. She just had to get out of there. She stood up and ran out of the café.
CHAPTER 11
Rachel ran home, in the freezing cold and could barely catch her breath as she got to her front door. She was surprised by her speed getting home, but figured she was high on adrenalin from the night. She couldn’t stop thinking about what had just happened with Brian. She knew she was acting weird and figured she’d ruined their budding relationship. She was distraught about the feelings she was having at the café and knew that it wasn’t normal. She didn’t know what had happened to her or what had gotten into her. When she entered the house, she broke down and started sobbing uncontrollably. The tears kept streaming from her eyes and down her cheeks.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” her dad asked as he came running down the stairs. “Are you ok, what happened?”
Rachel couldn’t catch her breath to answer him, she was hysterical. Her hormones were raging out of control, and she couldn’t pull herself together.
“I’m..I’m fine,” Rachel said, sobbing through her words.
“You’re clearly not fine,” here dad said, with a look of concern.
“You’re right, I’m not fine!” Rachel said, now in a yelling tone. It was almost as if she couldn’t control her rage and anger. She started storming through the house yelling, “I hate this! I hate everyone! I’m so angry!”
“Rachel, come back here this minute,” her dad said sternly. “I must talk to you about this. You have to tell me what happened to you tonight. You are not acting right.”
Rachel stomped around and then started crying again, “I’m not right. Something is definitely wrong. And maybe it’s because I don’t remember anything. Maybe that’s it? Ya think?” she said, in a snotty voice.
“Don’t get fresh with me, young lady. I’m only trying to help you out,” her dad said.
“Well, it’s not working. I can’t be helped. Nobody can help me!” Rachel said. “I’m way beyond that point now.”
“Don’t say that, Rachel. We will get you help. You will see Dr. Goldman first thing in the morning. I will call him now and get you an appointment,” her dad said.
“I don’t want to see a shrink! I don’t need a shrink!” Rachel yelled, stomping up to her room.
“You are going! It’s not up for debate!” her dad yelled up after her.
“NO!” Rachel shouted down.
“Yes you are. If I have to drag you there with my two hands I will,” her dad said.
Rachel then slammed the door to her bedroom and cried herself to sleep.
When she woke up the next morning, she saw a man dressed in a tweed suit sitting next to her bed on a stool. He had dark brown hair, glasses and a very long chin. His none was pointed and he had a short beard. Feeling scared, Rachel let out a yell and pulled the covers over her head.
“Who are you?” Rachel asked.
“I’m Dr. Goldman,” he said. “I’m here to talk to you today about what’s been going on. Your father called me late last night saying it was an emergency so I figured I’d come to the house today to see you.”
“Well you can leave now. There’s nothing to discuss,” Rachel said, from under her covers.
“I’m not leaving you, Rachel. I want to help you get through this hard time. Please tell me when this all started?” Dr. Goldman asked.
“When what all started?” Rachel asked, peeking her head out from under the covers.
“When you began to feel the way you are feeling. Was it a few days, a few weeks, longer?” he asked.
Rachel wished she knew the answer. Part of her felt grateful that her dad cared enough to bring in Dr. Goldman, but the other part of her knew he wouldn’t help her at all. The only person who could help her is her grandmother and she had to find her first. Dr. Goldman was going to be a waste of her time, but for her dad’s sake, she figured she’d go through the motions with the guy and see how far they get.
“Well, I’ve only been back a few days. So a few days I guess. That’s really all I can remember,” Rachel said.
“You’ve only been back a few days?” Dr. Goldman asked. “Where have you been, my dear?”
“Well, that’s the problem. I can’t remember where I’ve been,” she said.
“You can’t remember? Well, is there anything you do remember? Let’s start with that,” Dr. Goldman prodded.
“Well, all my friends are telling me about the move and the guys I liked, and the friends I made up there, but I can’t remember a think about it. Not one thing!” Rachel added. “Not to mention my friends here hate me now. I totally messed that up. Everything is going wrong for me.”
Rachel was surprised at how much she was opening up to this complete stranger. She then began to cry.
“Why are you crying? What are you feeling?” Dr. Goldman asked sympathetically.
“I don’t know why I’m crying. I can’t remember. I wish I knew what happened to me Doctor. I have no recollection of anything that has happened the past two years. It’s like it’s been erased from my memory or something,” Rachel sobbed. “And now, I don’t even feel like myself.”
“Describe what you mean when you say you don’t feel like yourself,” Dr. Goldman asked.
Rachel couldn’t help but feel like she were in a movie. She replayed shrink scenes over and over in her head, and this was exactly the same.
“Well, I don’t really want to talk about it. You wouldn’t understand,” Rachel said.
“You’d be surprised at just how much I understand,” Dr. Goldman reassured her. “You can tell me anything.”
“Well, I just have been feeling some strange urges, which I can’t explain,” she started.
“What sort of urges?”
Rachel didn’t know if she should tell him about last night. About Brian and what happened at the café. She didn’t know if he’d understand and she didn’t want him to think she was crazy. But then again, he was a shrink; he sees a lot of crazies.
“Last night for example, I was out with the guy I really like, Brian, and then all of a sudden I had the urge to taste him,” Rachel said.