Danny pulled her closer and made little murmurs of approval as he moved from one breast to the other.
Amanda moaned. Then clamped her lips shut. She muttered, "Don't you think we should close the door? And lock it? What if Piper comes back? Or your mom?" God, there was a scary thought. Willie Tucker walking in on Danny licking her nipple. Her desire disappeared.
Hot, cold, hot, cold. She was a regular thermostat.
Danny lifted his head and scrutinized Amanda. She looked tense. She sounded a bit on the edge of hysteria.
He was nervous enough himself, as it was, afraid he wouldn't measure up to her previous lovers. Her obvious uncertainty wasn't going to help one bit.
Reaching behind her, he shut the door and pushed the button in to lock it. "We'll hear them come in the kitchen door."
"We will?"
Maybe. "Sure." Danny pushed her bra off her shoulders so it would fall to the floor. Amanda stood there in her denim shorts and nothing else, looking a bit like she'd just decided to sell her soul to Satan and was regretting it.
And he had the most horrible, uncomfortable thought that here he was planning on having sex with Amanda on this bed and he had just told his daughter she would be sleeping there that night.
Danny just stood staring at Amanda, in doubt.
Something wasn't working here.
But Amanda seemed to give herself a mental shake, because she went over to the bed and lay down on her side. The move should have looked sexy as sin, but instead looked practiced to him. Like she was posing, not being spontaneous.
He popped the button on his jeans, aroused in spite of all his random, colliding, doubting thoughts. Amanda was laid out on his bed. It was impossible not to react, even if it was half-hearted. Which meant he was an idiot. He shouldn't be thinking at all. He should just be diving on her. No wonder he sucked at making love to a woman. He was slow.
Feeling like an ox climbing into bed with a gazelle, he managed to climb up beside her without tipping her onto the floor. Her pouty smile was looking a little strained.
He gave her a kiss, a soft one, that didn't lead to anything. It was just a nice, what-the-fuck-are-we-doing? kind of kiss.
Amanda's hand started roaming over the front of his jeans. Around and around and Danny wanted to crawl under the bed and bludgeon himself to death with her flip-flop. She wasn't finding anything.
She sighed. "This isn't going to happen, is it?"
Or maybe he could smother himself in the pillow. "I don't think so." He tried to will himself to rise to the occasion, but there was no cooperation.
"I'm sorry. It's my fault." She flopped on -her back and rested her hands on her stomach above her shorts. "I'm giving off weird vibes, aren't I?"
He was pretty damn sure they both were. "I think we're both thinking, worrying."
"My last boyfriend…" She pulled the bed pillow over her chest and hugged it. "God, I can't believe I'm going to tell you this. But I overheard him telling someone that he wished I'd get a boob job. And that I had a nonexistent ass. And that, uh, my skills in bed were lacking."
"You're kidding." Danny forgot all about his own discomfort and brushed Amanda's hair back from her cheek. He propped himself on one elbow. "That's crazy. And rude, the ass**le. You have a fabulous body. Sometimes I think I need a bib when I'm looking at you."
She gave a tight laugh. "You're very sweet, but I know I don't have any br**sts. I got implants a few years ago, but I had them taken out nine months ago, right before I met Logan, ironically. I wanted to be me, just me, and thought that would be enough. Guess I was wrong."
"No, you weren't wrong. You don't need bags of saline shoved in your chest to make you attractive and desirable." The very thought made him angry, nauseous. "What a jackass. And he called himself your boyfriend? How could he say things like that about you?"
Amanda turned a little, and he could see luminous tears hovering in her eyes. "Because he didn't give a shit about me. I thought he did, but it turned out he had a girlfriend on the side, the woman he actually cared about. A woman he actually enjoyed having sex with. I was just his meal ticket."
When a tear rolled down her cheek, he wiped it with his thumb, distraught at the pain splashed all over her face. "Oh, Princess, that's just so wrong… I'm so sorry."
"I've never been so humiliated in my whole life. And apparently it's stuck some doubts in my head, because I was standing here and all I could think was that what if I am lousy in bed and no one had the guts to tell me? I didn't want to disappoint you and embarrass myself." She rolled on her side, toward him, and gave a laugh. "Of course, I've already embarrassed myself by dumping all this on you. Here are all my flaws and insecurities—how unsexy is that?"
But it was actually very sexy. It leveled the playing field.
"I'm so damn glad you said something." Danny stroked her breast, held his hand over the warm flesh. "To tell you the truth, I was getting a little performance anxiety. I figured you've been with all these charming rich guys, and I'm just a hick. I've only had sex twice since my divorce from Shel three years ago, and trust me, neither time was anything to write home about. I was starting to think it was me."
Her eyebrows shot up. "Well, aren't we a pair? It's almost funny."
Danny lay down beside her and pondered the ceiling. He was so relieved, he did feel like laughing. Amanda didn't expect perfection from him. "Do you ever think things happen for a reason, Amanda? Like maybe you're here in Cuttersville because we both needed each other right now?"
She was quiet, and he started to think it had been a mistake to blather out his thoughts. But then she whispered, "I'd like to say that the reason I'm here in Cuttersville is boredom and a father with a warped sense of justice. But I don't know, Danny… when I'm here with you, like this, it seems too right to be an accident. I think maybe you're onto something."
He put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her in toward his chest. "No pressure. I just want to hold you."
"We're just going to cuddle? Sure, that's what all the boys say." But she nuzzled in along him, her cheek resting on his chest.
Danny thought her skin felt like butter, soft and creamy. They should probably get their shirts back on, but he was reluctant to let Amanda go.
"Danny? Do you think about the future? Do you ever wonder where you'll be in five years?"
That was easy enough. "Right here, Princess. On this farm, with Piper. I always figured I'd get married, but I don't imagine that will happen now. Piper will be my focus, not dating."