She started to tug it off, having a little trouble without a mirror. It stung like hell, but she jerked harder until the thing came free. She shook her own hair loose and dropped the piece in her lap.
Piper gaped at her. "It's like a wig! But it looks so real."
Amanda handed it over to Piper, who curled her lip but took it, tipping it left and right and watching the fake strands spill over her legs.
"Yep. It's real human hair." She ran her hand over her head, making sure there were no stray pieces sticking up and looking tacky. Her hair only went to just below her chin, giving her a boxy, businesswoman look she hated.
Treading lightly, not sure she knew what the hell she was doing, she pointed to her head. "Do I look funny like this? Bad?"
"No." Piper shook her head hard. "Just different, but still like you. Still pretty."
"I bet that's just what you look like without your hat. Different, but still you. Pretty." Amanda took Piper's hand, the hairpiece clutched between them, and stroked her hand, her arm, her shoulder the way she had wanted to since she'd first met this little girl. "If you want to go without your hat when you're with me, you can. I'll like you just the same both ways."
Piper looked at the carpet and bit her lip. "Can I go out and play on the swings?"
That was an abrupt change of subject, which meant Piper wasn't ready to take off her hat, to totally trust her yet. But Amanda figured the important thing was that Piper had heard her, really listened, and hopefully knew that she would be here when Piper did want to take that big step.
"Sure. Stay right in the yard, and I'll be there in a second." She needed that second to get control of her emotions. And to put her hair back on.
"Okay." Piper ran toward the front door, heading toward the grassy area to the right of the driveway that had a few hardy flowers and a metal swing set that had been dropped off by one of Danny's cousins the day before.
It amazed Amanda that his family and friends had just come to his aid, no questions asked. Nothing was brand new, but they had all cleaned out their closets and garages and given him clothes and toys for Piper.
Piper paused at the door and turned toward Amanda. She reached up and lifted her hat off so quickly, Amanda wasn't even expecting it.
Then she stood there, exposed, vulnerable, and let Amanda look at her.
The sight of her rounded, pink skull covered randomly with little tufts of baby fine hair hit Amanda hard. Some of the remaining hair was short and thick, like a baby chicken, others pieces long and thin, like a comb-over trying to hide a balding spot.
"Yep. Just different. But still pretty," she said in a low voice, absolutely awed to have Piper's trust. She didn't think she'd ever been given such an amazing gift.
Piper jammed the hat back on her head and ran out the door, the screen slamming behind her.
Amanda stood up, her eyes blurring with tears, her breath coming in anguished little gasps. She wanted to weep for Piper, she wanted to take it all away, make it all right, love her.
"Hey, Amanda, have you seen my sunglasses?" Danny's voice came from the kitchen. "I can't find them, and I'm going blind out there."
Swiping her eyes, she turned right as he came into the living room.
And burst into the tears she'd been trying to hold back.
Chapter 11
It took Danny a full ten seconds to figure out what he was looking at.
Amanda was standing there, crying, and something about her appearance was off, different, though he couldn't place it. He crossed the room to her, looking frantically up and down for an injury that would cause tears. "Hey, what's wrong? Are you hurt?"
Amanda wasn't the kind for big emotional displays, so he was a little panicked. "Where's Piper?"
She sniffled, reaching up to wipe her eyes, mouth trembling a little. "She just went outside to play on the swing set, and she's fine."
Relief coursed through him. Piper wasn't hurt, and Amanda seemed to be trying to stem her tears. "Well, what's wrong?" He reached out and rubbed her arms below the shoulder, studying her face.
There was something about her, besides the tears…
He blinked. Half her hair was gone. "What the hell happened to your hair?"
Not that it looked bad. In fact, he kind of liked it. She looked softer, more natural, with her hair falling just below her chin. It was less showy, less blond, or something, and her face was pale, streaked with tears. At some point over the past few days, she had taken off those plastic claws she'd called fingernails, and if she had been gorgeous—hot—before, now she was beautiful.
The New York skyline was dazzling, but Niagara Falls was breathtaking.
Amanda had just become breathtaking.
"I took my hair extensions out." She sniffled again, another tear squeezing out of each eye. "Did you know, Danny, about Piper's hair?"
Danny dropped his arms. So she'd figured it out. Not wanting to betray Piper's confidence, he said carefully, "What are you talking about, exactly?"
"She told me that she lost her hair. She showed me." More tears rushed down her cheeks.
Her reaction warmed his heart, even at the same time he felt the pain all over again that Piper had suffered without him. She had lived a hard life, and damn it, he hadn't been there. "I think it's good that she trusted you enough to tell you."
"I just can't believe that anyone would tell her she had to wear a hat… those people who had her—I'm sorry, but they were f**ked-up, selfish, jerk-off ass**les, unfit to be parents. She's just a child."
God, did he know that. "I know. And I couldn't tell you, because I need Piper to trust me, know I won't betray her, and she's convinced having no hair makes her ugly. She needs time." And he needed patience and forgiveness. He needed to forgive Nina for her lackluster mothering.
And most of all, he needed to forgive himself for not being there.
But that wasn't going to happen any time soon. He couldn't forgive. He couldn't forget. He couldn't get over the fact that this was all his fault, for not being man enough to take responsibility for his actions. For not being a real man, any more than Mark.
And he wasn't sure why, but he found himself confessing all that raw sewage sloshing around inside of him to Amanda. "It breaks my heart all over again, every time I look at Piper. It makes me sick. Not because she's not pretty, but because she is. Because she's precious and fragile and damn adorable, and because I didn't stop any of this from happening. I should have stopped it, I should have been there. I let my little girl down."