“I’ve never been out of New Orleans,” he said. “I’ve only seen Florida on TV and in movies. It’s pretty here. Peaceful.”
“You’ve never been out of New Orleans? Why not?”
“I’m bound to New Orleans in exchange for a shorter punishment.”
“Then how are you here?”
Love. That’s how he was there. “I came to protect you.”
“But . . .” She rested her smoothie on the top of the railing and tucked her hair behind her ears. “What does that mean for your punishment then?”
“It means it won’t be shorter.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t know when I came here . . . I was mad at you for not coming with me and I was being stubborn.”
“And I didn’t know about Marguerite or I never would have let you come by yourself. I thought you would be safe because I knew Raphael was in New Orleans. There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. None of this was your doing, and I made my choice to defy my binding freely and clearly. Trust me, I don’t regret it.”
“So what do you do now?”
“I have to go back,” Gabriel said, trying to keep his voice even. He didn’t want her to feel guilty, didn’t want to influence her choice in any way. “Will you come back with me?”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Sara said, even as she knew she wanted to. Her heart was screaming that all she needed was a ticket and she was there. That it should be easy. He said he loved her. She knew she loved him.
Yet she needed to stay home in Florida, process everything she had learned, reflect, think about what she wanted to do. Decide if it was realistic to accept what he was offering, a platonic love affair. That in and of itself was an oxymoron. The idea of living with him, loving him, yet never able to have a sexual relationship sounded torturous, maddening.
But so did being apart from him.
What she wanted was to be with Gabriel.
What she needed to decide was how she could do that and retain her sanity.
He was immortal.
She was very much mortal.
At the moment, staring out at the water, watching wave after wave roll in, she didn’t see how she could have everything. Yet wasn’t sure that she could live with nothing.
“I won’t push you,” he said. “I know I’m asking a lot of you, and it’s your decision, but know that I want you with me.”
She glanced over at him, wanting to touch him, to lean against him, stroke his hair, feel his lips on her. How could she ache for that and never have it? How could she not know, just once, what it felt like to have him inside her, their bare skin touching everywhere, her ankles locked around his waist, the sweet scent of sweat and sex hovering between them, his dark eyes staring down at her?
“I love you,” she said softly.
His eyes went wide and his jaw shifted, hands clasped together in a fist as he leaned over the railing. “I love you too.”
She knew that, but it was lovely to hear him say it again, even if there were no easy options for them. “But I need time to think and I’m exhausted. Let’s go get a room at the hotel. There are no flights to New Orleans until the morning anyway, I’m sure.”
He nodded.
Sara had no idea what she would decide to do in the morning, but she knew how she wanted to spend the night.
And it wasn’t sleeping.
Chapter Twenty-one
Gabriel wanted to say something to Sara, anything, to convince her to go back to New Orleans with him, but he knew what he was suggesting was a huge sacrifice for Sara, more than it was for him. He was asking her to live with him without any hope of marriage or children or a normal sexual relationship, giving up the chance to date and meet a man who could give her all of those things.
It was more than he should ever expect her to have to live without.
So he bit his tongue and kept his damn mouth shut when he really wanted to coax and cajole and remind her of the love he felt.
And she was tired, overwhelmed, processing what she had learned about demons and the death of her mother. She didn’t need his selfish whining, didn’t need to make an impulsive decision based on emotion and wake up in two years, five years, regretting the choice, the time she had wasted.
So Gabriel didn’t say a word, getting them a room at the hotel they had put Jocelyn in, a standard chain hotel with pleasant staff and lots of floral prints blanketing the lobby and the room itself. He didn’t have any luggage, and Sara had left her bag at Jocelyn’s apartment, so he secured toothbrushes and other necessaries at the front desk, and was putting them in the bathroom as Sara kicked off her sandals. When he walked back out, he was a little surprised to see her standing in her tank top and bikini panties, bent over the bed and systematically removing all the pillows but two, tossing the unwanted extras onto the other bed in a way that made her ass shake a little with each throw.
The view was one he certainly appreciated, and it created an immediate response from his own body, but it also confused him. Sara wasn’t one to run around in her underwear. But then again, she was clearly just getting ready for bed and she had no pajamas with her, so it meant nothing more than that she wanted to be comfortable.
“I’m going to call the airline and see about getting a flight back tomorrow,” he said. “Check times.”
“Okay,” she said, heading into the bathroom.
He heard the water running and her brushing her teeth. That wasn’t the answer he had wanted. He had really been asking if he should get two tickets or one, but he didn’t want to ask that straight-out. So he just called the airline on his cell phone and got flight times and asked about availability. Reassured that there were plenty of seats on the three o’clock afternoon flight for the next day, he left it at that and hung up. Sara had gotten into bed already and was lying with her eyes closed.
She was so quiet. Gabriel didn’t like that. It made him nervous. He shucked off his T-shirt and used the other toothbrush. In the bathroom he debated leaving his jeans on or not, and decided they were dirty, he was tired, and he wanted to be completely comfortable. The jeans went and he got into bed in his boxer briefs.
He was already accustomed to sleeping with Sara beside him. He enjoyed her presence, her scent, her breathing, her soft sighs, her warmth. He would miss her if she didn’t go back with him, in every part of his life. In a short amount of time, she had become a part of the fabric of every day, the voice he listened for, the person he shared his thoughts with. She was his balance, his temperance, his advocate, his champion.