The second thought was that a human should never have to give up her birthright. He would not wish to cease being a vampire. He’d birthed as one, he was long-lived, he enjoyed all the various aspects of his birth genetics.
So this was why Vojalie had asked him the question, ‘What are you to sacrifice for this woman?’ If he understood all the nuances, that if Abigail was to hold onto her humanity, he would have to give up hope of ever having her in his life. That would be his sacrifice.
But it was like being offered a gift, even shown the beauty and breadth of that gift, every unique and desirable facet, then having it snatched away. He could feel his scowl return, heavier, deeper than ever before.
He knew only one thing: For a specie to have to change, well it was as wrong as what the Invictus pairs went through. It was a perversion.
He lifted his gaze to Vojalie. “This is a perversion.”
He had expected Vojalie to protest. Instead, Abigail spoke quickly. “No,” she said, overlaying his arm with her hand. “You’re wrong.”
Gerrod was surprised at the forceful sound in her voice. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“I do know that what I’ve experienced has felt like a normal progression, something for which I am oddly designed, but I don’t believe for a moment it’s either immoral or unnatural. I also think Vojalie’s concerns are the greater ones anyway.”
Gerrod glanced between the two women. “Which concerns?”
Only then did Abigail frown and sink back into the couch cushions. “I will need to choose between the worlds, to determine to which life I will pledge my greater allegiance, my citizenry, my commitment.”
And the truth is, she added, pathing to him and looking into his eyes once more, we barely know each other, the bonking and shagging notwithstanding.
*** *** ***
Abigail stood in the vast entrance hall of Gerrod’s castle.
So she was a blood rose.
Something so uncommon in Realm history that Gerrod had never heard of it and Vojalie had been forced to search through the old leather tome to find out what she could about the strange condition.
The drive back from the fae’s house had been very quiet. Silent, in fact.
She had no idea what his thoughts were, but during the entire drive, hers had been an internal, mental round robin of weeping, wailing and screaming.
She wanted to stay with Gerrod in his castle and in his arms forever and yet, did she really? What did she know of him, except that he was a lonely, scowling Guard of the Realm, a mastyr vampire who ruled over a million souls of varying species, an admirable man in essentials, a wonderful lover, a good friend, and very hard on himself.
But could any of this, anything really, justify changing biology.
He stood staring at the stone floor, his hands on his hips, the soft leather coat bunched at the waist.
“What are you thinking?” she asked.
Gerrod turned to face her. She thought it odd that right in this moment he must have been standing in the very center of the massive hall, a large wagon-wheel-like wooden candelabra suspended over his head, though at least some fifteen feet above his tall frame. Was he trying to center himself?
“I honestly do not know what to make of this turn of events. I was looking for an answer more along the lines of, ‘Well, Gerrod, I believe this woman to be your mate, even though she is human.’ That would have been entirely sufficient. The problems would have been more like whether I could persuade you to live in Merhaine at least part of the year or if you would agree to a bodyguard when you worked at the Hollow Tree bakery.
“But this is so much more. This is impossible. You can’t give up your human world. Your connections and involvement with your sister, Megan, alone are paramount.”
Abigail sighed heavily. “That you would say as much, makes this harder still for me.”
“How so?”
“Because I value that you understand how important Megan is in my life.”
“She’s your sister. Of course she’s important. And you have a niece and nephew. Because my birth family lives in one of the European Realms, I think of my castle staff in much the same way. I don’t think I could be asked to give up Gus, for instance.”
“Even with his wide mouth and flappy tongue?”
He smiled just off to one side. Her heart constricted a little more. “He could have a hundred such defects and I would still need him in my home.”
“But would I be able to visit Flagstaff, I mean, if I made this change?”
“You would become vampire and how you perceive the world would change. Your frequencies would grow in strength and it could become uncomfortable to visit at times. You would have blood needs. Your life would be very different from Megan’s, as different as mine is from yours right now.”
And Megan had always relied on her. Always.
But she had a husband now, and yet, it was to Abigail that Megan always turned. When her girls were sick, Abigail had taken shifts caring for them through the night, for several nights in a row.
Besides, Abigail had always seen her Merhaine adventure as just that, a little excitement to while away her days. She just hadn’t counted on falling in love with a vampire.
Gerrod moved close and took her hand. “There is something else I want you to think about. This is a dangerous time in our long history because of the rise of the Invictus. The attack last night was different, which indicates an escalation on the part of the enemy, and we don’t know the direction the attacks will turn. Ethan said that in his realm, the Invictus have also grown more active in the wastelands. He’s checking even now to see if the poorer realm-folk of Bergisson have been disappearing as they have here.
“As for myself, Abigail there is part of me that wants to keep you with me always. I’ve been half in love with you since that first day, when I caught your very sweet rosemary scent. All that Vojalie’s pronouncement meant today is that now I have words for what has happened to me. I’ve found my blood rose and I want to keep you for so many reasons.
“But I also believe I must let you go. I don’t approve of this arrangement. I can’t abide the thought that you would give up your heritage. That is a perversion to me even if you say it feels natural and good, nothing forced.
“You should go home. At the very least, go home to think about all of this. And if you don’t come back, trust me, with all my heart, I will completely understand.”
He looked forlorn, such an old-fashioned word, but that was what he looked like to her, standing there and making his usual Gerrod-like sacrifice, thinking of others rather than himself.