Even still. Strippers were just people. Just women who were doing what they needed to do to pay the bills. I had one putting herself through med school, another supporting her kid because her deadbeat boyfriend walked out on her. Stripping not only paid well, but she spent all day with her kid, then worked while he was in bed. Who the hell was I to judge what someone else did to pay the bills?
In my club, the strippers were shown respect. Period. If I saw anything different, the offender was tossed on his ass with a one-way ticket to never come back.
It fucking killed me that Roxie had been living with such a clump nugget.
It fucking killed me that I had never known.
Sure, I knew he wasn’t the best guy. I’d heard rumors of her getting into arguments with him on the phone backstage. But I brushed it off, looked the other way. Roxie was always smiling, always running her mouth… She always had a smile for me.
It was all a cover-up.
Why hadn’t I seen past it?
That night I spent on her couch was the first I heard he abused her. I was horrified, but they were already over. He was gone. The one time he showed his face, I beat his ass… I wished I’d killed him.
But I knew now.
And I was never—never—going to stand by and watch her get dragged back into that life again.
But I was still left with the question I just didn’t know the answer to.
How?
How was I going to handle the anger I felt? The rage, the regret? How was I going to see that vulnerable look in her eyes and not remember exactly where it came from?
I heard a soft sound behind me, pulling me out of my all-encompassing thoughts. I heard the telltale rattling of all the shit in that sack she carried around.
She was leaving.
How long had I stood here in silence?
How long had she waited for me to say something… anything?
I spun and raced across the room as Roxie turned the handle on the front door. She was pulling the door open when I made it to her side. I reached around her and flattened my palm on the wood, pushing it until it latched. She didn’t turn around; her head remained bowed.
I slid my palm down, aware of her watching, and turned the lock. The click of it sliding into place reverberated throughout the quiet room.
“You’re not going anywhere, sweetheart,” I rumbled in her ear.
“I can’t do this,” she whispered. The intensity in the air around us was thick, so thick I could cut it with a knife.
“Do what?” As I spoke, I slid the white bag off her shoulder and dropped it on the floor.
“I can’t get hurt by you, Adam,” she whispered. “Just let me go.”
“Never.”
I laid my hand on her shoulder and slowly spun her around. She looked up at me through shimmering tears.
Placing my hands beneath her arms, I lifted, sliding her up the door until we were face to face, eye to eye. Her legs came up to wrap around my waist, and I flattened my palms on either side of her.
“I’m not ever letting you go,” I whispered, staring straight into her eyes. “I love you.”
A single tear trickled out and trailed down the curve of her cheek. She squeezed her eyes shut, like it was something she didn’t want to hear.
But she was going to hear me.
The question that haunted me through our entire conversation just found its answer. The way to live with the anger, the hurt, and the sickness of knowing what she went through was to channel it. I would channel all those feelings into the love I felt for her, the love that had been growing since the day we met.
I couldn’t make up for what he did to her. I couldn’t ever take away the scars and pain she would always have.
But I could make sure her future was better than her past.
I could give her the love she wanted all those years ago and never got.
I could love Roxie like that. Like she was the only woman in the entire world.
It would be easy.
Because she is. Roxie was the only woman in my entire universe.
“Look at me,” I said softly. When her eyes focused on mine, I told her again. “I love you,” I whispered. “I’ve loved you for a long time. I’m so sorry it took me so long to figure it out.”
“Adam,” she whispered, her voice quivering.
I shook my head. “I know they’re just words, honey. I know you’ve heard them before. But will you give me a chance to prove them? To show you just how much I mean them?”
She brought her hand up and cupped my face, and I pressed my cheek into her trembling palm. “I was leaving,” she said.
I chuckled. “I locked the door. You’re not going anywhere.”
“Adam,” she whispered again. My name on her lips was beautiful.
“Tell me you’ll be mine, Rox.”
She hesitated. I saw the doubt in her face; I saw the war behind her eyes. She wanted to say yes, but she was afraid of what it would cost her.
“Don’t answer me,” I told her. “I only want you to give me an answer when you know for sure.”
Her chest expanded when she breathed in, and her breasts pushed against me. My groin tightened. I wanted inside her so badly my vision was starting to blur.
“Stay the night with me. In my bed. In my arms,” I prompted. I prayed to God this answer was more definitive. If I saw any doubt on her face for this one, I’d probably have to ice my balls.
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Yes?” I asked, wanting to make sure I heard her right.
She nodded and gave me a shy smile.
I groaned and crushed our mouths together.
Before I could let myself get carried away, I pulled back and pinned her with another stare. “I’m not talking about just sleep.”
A slow smile curved her lips. “I know.”
I kind of felt like a choir began signing in perfect harmony when she said those words.
I kissed her again, this time delving my tongue into her mouth and swirling it with hers. We melded together like two ice cubes melting over a flame. My dick was so hard I thought the zipper on my pants might burst, and I was momentarily thankful her legs were around my waist because if she felt how desperately I wanted her, she might be alarmed.
Roxie slid her hands around my neck and pulled me just a little bit closer. My chest rumbled with satisfaction, and I kissed her deeper. One of my hands spanned her ribcage, and I could feel the heat of her skin even through her clothes.
I couldn’t even remember the number of times I imagined what it would be like to be with her like this. It was like a fantasy come to life.
I stepped back, pulling her away from the door and walking through my dark apartment. Thankfully, I knew the place well and was able to navigate even as we kissed. The bedroom door was pulled around, and I kicked it open. The curtains on the wall-to-wall window were still open and the moonlight filtered in, casting a silver glow over the room. I sat Roxie on the end of the bed and moved away to slide open one of the windows. The ocean breeze filtered in, bringing with it the scent of the salty sea. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore filled the room with a rhythm that could only be found in nature.