"I'm tired." She risked looking at him.
His blue eyes looked brighter in the golden hue of the porch light. He still had his hand around her arm and his thumb started brushing against her skin. "You got my letters, right?"
"Yeah."
"Is it the dreams that have got you upset, because I didn't-"
"I know-it was me, not you." She pulled her arm away.
He raised his eyebrows as if contemplating. "It wasn't all you," he said as if it cost him a lot to confess it. "Not the first dream. I mean..."
When he hesitated, her mind took over. "So you were doing it? You came into my dream?"
"No, I don't have that ability. But when you came into my dream the first time, I was already dreaming about you." He shrugged as if to knock some of the guilt off his shoulders. "At first, I didn't realize you were really there. Not until it became so vivid and real. And I didn't say anything later because I could tell you didn't understand what had happened. If that's what you're upset about. I probably should have stopped it but ... It was a dream. And oh, hell, I didn't want it to stop."
Even if she had to give him credit for being honest, she was still upset. He should have stopped it. Or at least told her so she wouldn't have gone back the second time. Then again, she didn't know how she'd have reacted if he'd told her this then. A lot had happened in these past weeks. She'd accepted things now that she probably wouldn't have been able to accept then.
"The second dream, however, that was all you." His eyebrows rose as if the thought made him happy.
Caught off guard by the blue twinkle in his eyes, she said the first thing that came to her mind. "I bet Aunt Stella dreamed about Tom Selleck, too."
Chapter Twenty-seven
Confusion filled his expression. "What? Tom Selleck?"
Embarrassment filled her chest. Had she really said that? "What I'm trying to say is I don't think it will happen again. So let's forget it, okay?"
"Why won't it happen again?" His gaze became heavy, and he lowered his face an inch closer from hers. "It's obvious that you feel the same about me as-"
"As you do for Fredericka?" She wished she could snatch the question from the air before it reached his ears.
His brow creased and he leaned back on his heels. "So that's what you're angry about."
She didn't deny it. Not because she didn't want to, but because she didn't think she could pull it off.
"Look, Fredericka and I-"
"It's not important."
"It is to me. I never touched her while we were away. Not once."
"It doesn't matter because ... what you two are, or what you do, is your business. Because you and I ... we're just friends."
"We could be more," he countered. "It feels like more already."
"No." She looked him directly in the eyes, hoping he'd understand she meant it.
He pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, and his thumb brushed over her cheek. "The last time we stood on the porch, you invited me inside and I think that invitation included more than just ... being friends." She remembered standing here, almost begging him to come inside, wanting ... so much more than his company. But that was then-before her feelings deepened for Derek.
She caught Lucas's hand and moved it from her face. "But you said no. And you were right."
"You really believe that?" He tenderly folded his fingers around her hand.
Yeah, she did, because he'd run off with Fredericka.
"She followed me, Kylie. I didn't ask her to come. I would have sent her home, but it turned out I needed her."
Kylie tried to pull her hand from his, but his hold tightened.
"I didn't mean need her like ... like that. I left to help someone." He paused. "I didn't tell you in the letters because if Holiday found out she'd have had a fit. I have a half sister. She'd been pulled into one of the gangs.
I had to get her out, Kylie. She didn't deserve to ... I should have been there for her earlier. She called and asked for help a few months before, but I didn't do it because I would have had to face my father. It was my fault it happened and I had to help. Then Fredericka helped me."
Kylie tilted her head back. "She helped you. She tried to kill me."
He shook his head. "She wouldn't have killed you last night."
It had been him. She'd known, but hearing him say it made it more real.
"She just wanted to scare you," he continued. "She doesn't like you because she knows how I feel about you."
"You had to fight her to stop her from charging me."
"That doesn't mean anything. That's the way we deal with things when
we're changed. We don't stand around and use psychology when we're in our natural state."
"But last night wasn't the first time she tried to put me six feet under. She put a lion in my room before you left."
His expression darkened. "She did what?"
"She put a lion in my room. One from the wildlife preserve. If it hadn't been for Derek I could have died."
Disbelief filled his expression. "She wouldn't have done that."
Kylie yanked her hand from his. She couldn't believe he was defending Fredericka. But why was that unbelievable? He'd admitted to having sex with her. Then he ran off with her.
He raked a hand through his hair. "She's not like that, Kylie. I know she's harsh but ... you don't know her like I do."
"You're right," Kylie said. "I don't know her like you do. And since you two have so much in common, why don't you go find her right now and ... and be with her? That's where you belong."
"She's not the one I want." His words came out terse. "It's you. It's been you since ... since the minute I first saw you."
Kylie closed her eyes and shook her head. This was all happening so fast. She'd finally gotten used to him being gone, and now here he was shaking up her life all over again.
"Tell me you didn't feel it," he whispered. "Tell me that you didn't feel the bond we had when we first met."
She had felt it, but she'd been five years old. She met his gaze again. "I don't know what to think, Lucas. You're telling me that there's nothing between you and Fredericka, but she obviously has other ideas. Maybe you should sort things out with her before you start something up with me." Her heart clutched when she realized this was basically the same thing Derek had told her.
"You make it sound as if I haven't already tried to do that."
She shrugged. "My life's really complicated right now. If you'd been around these past weeks, you'd know that. So for now, we can be friends. That's all."