“Ever since he's moved in, he's all you talk about, randomly dropping his name into conversations. He's on your mind more than you'd like to admit, and there's nothing wrong with that. What does Mac say about it?”
“She doesn't know. And I hate that she's moved out, and that I can't talk to her about this.” I feel my eyes getting wet.
“She's moved out, but she hasn't cut you out of her life. And as for Zander, if you like him, isn't it worth taking a chance and actually spending time with the guy? You've got...what? At least a few more days of cohabitation with the God of Gorgeousness, right? Why not make the most of it? Get to know him, get to know each other. Hell, honey, worst-case scenario, you make a new friend. But think of all the potential positives.”
Dammit, he makes a compelling argument.
“But what about the internet guy? Nightdancer?” I ask, honestly needing a male opinion on my confusing life.
“Honestly, I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself. You've seen Mac get her happy ending, or near enough, and it's just made everything more real for you.” He leans over and puts his hand on top of mine, “You'll find your knight, princess. You just need to be patient, don't force it.”
“You're right.”
“Say that again, I didn't quite hear you,” he replies with a smirk.
“Stop it,” I say, lightly smacking his arm. “I think I'm going to go home. Wallow in self-pity and all that.”
“Just stay open minded.”
“I will. See you Monday?”
“Sure. I'm going to stay and go chat to that gorgeous bartender over there.” He looks over my shoulder and winks.
I glance behind us to see a young, tanned man giving Nathan a flirty grin from behind the bar. “I see,” I say with a smile before leaning over and kissing his cheek.
“You catching a cab?”
“Of course. Safety first.”
I leave Nate behind with his barman, and luckily find a taxi waiting right outside the bar. On the ride home, everything Nate said hits me like a steam train. Is it my fault I'm single? Am I too closed off, too cautious, too boring even? Why are all my friends hooking up and not me?
Maybe my man radar is broken beyond repair. Maybe I'm destined to live a life filled with self-induced orgasms and doting on my best friend's baby.
Would that make me happy? Would I be fulfilled?
God! I've had too much wine to be thinking about life's big questions.
With a heavy heart, and my emotions threatening to bubble over, I walk into my apartment to find Zander watching a baseball game. His long tanned legs stretched out along the couch, his arm propped up under his head.
“Hey,” I say, putting my purse down on the kitchen counter. Scanning the room, I'm surprised to find it sparkling clean. “Wow, you must've been bored today to clean up in here. Thank you, though. I appreciate it.”
He rolls onto his stomach and catches me with a piercing gaze. “You're welcome, babe. Have you eaten?”
“No, but I'll grab something later. I'm just going to get changed.” My voice cracks and I know he catches it. His brows furrow as he studies me, his face filling with concern.
“Kate, What's wr-”
“It's fine, Zan. I'll be out soon,” I say before I rush down the hallway to my room.
Throwing my heels and work clothes off, I put on a tank and yoga pants, then collapse on my bed. Crying into my pillow, I let out everything that has been bottling up for the past few months; missing my best friend, my own feelings of inadequacy, being alone. Everything.
An hour later, I hear a soft knock on the door, and through blurry eyes I see Zander walking toward me. The bed shifts as he sits in the curve of my hips. I watch as he leans over and brushes my hair off my face and behind my ear.
“What's wrong?” he says, his voice soft and comforting. Everything I think.
“I….I'm fine, really,” I reply.
“You can talk to me, you know. I want to help.”
“I'm okay, or I will be. I think I just need to be alone.” My voice is still shaky, and I can tell by the look on his face that he's not buying it.
“I know what you need, Fire...babe. Will you let me take care of you?”
I nod, not sure what he's talking about, but being too emotionally spent to contemplate anything other than accepting whatever he's about to do for me.
“Pancakes.”
I shake my head. I totally misheard him. I must have. “What?”
“Pancakes for dinner. I come from a family of women. When one of them was hurt, upset, or even just a little bit down, we'd have pancakes for dinner. It's a weird Roberts' tradition. Don't knock it till you've tried it.”
He gives me a womb clenching smile, and I know I'm in trouble. He's helping me, caring for me, and I can't resist it.
“Okay.”
Chapter 14: “Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover”
ZANDER
I know that something is up when she gets home a few hours after finishing work. The look on her face says it all. Most women can hide their emotions, but not my firebird. She wears her heart on her sleeve, and I'll tell you, it tears me up to see the look on her face. Her eyes are what kill me. She is hugging herself as she talks to me, thanking me for cleaning up as if it is totally unexpected. I'd wanted her to be surprised, but I hadn't expected her to brush me off for dinner, then disappear into her room for an hour.
Earlier in the day, I'd logged in Chicago Singles and replied to Kate's message.
Nightdancer23: Hi. I'm sorry if I said anything to offend you or step over the line. I really just wanted to get to know you. I know our convo got a little out of hand last week, but I liked it, and I like talking to you. It's not a line when I say that I want to get to know you, the real you. And I want to show you who I really am. I hope everything is okay.
I figured that laying it all out-well, everything except who I really am-would get a response from her or at least an acknowledgement that she's still talking to me.
Now, with Kate home and upset, I grab my phone, feeling like a total loser for not knowing what to do.
Zander: Kate came home upset and has been in her room for over an hour. What do I do?
Mac: IS SHE OKAY?
Zander: I don't know. She came home late from work, thanked me for cleaning the house, then said she was going to get out of her work clothes. She was barely holding in tears, babe. She needs you.
Mac: No, she needs you. Go to her. You've got sisters, you'll sort it out. Just do something; otherwise I'll be forced to come over and kick your ass. And my ass is comfortably placed in Daniel's lap right now. Get the picture?