Normally, Eric would be down with that program.
But not tonight, apparently.
We sat opposite each other at the kitchen table. I tried not to sigh out loud.
"You remember the summit at Rhodes, and how a sort of strip of states from south to north were invited," Eric began.
I nodded. This didn't sound too promising. My corpse was way more urgent. Not to mention the sex.
"Once we had ventured from one side of the New World to another, and the white breathing population migrated across, too - we were the first explorers - a large group of us met to divide things up, for better governing of our own population."
"Were there any Native American vampires here when you came? Hey, were you on the Leif Ericson expedition?"
"No, not my generation. Oddly enough, there were very few Native American vampires. And the ones that were here were different in several ways."
Now, that was pretty interesting, but I could tell Eric wasn't going to stop and fill in the blanks.
"At that first national meeting, about three hundred years ago, there were many disagreements." Eric looked very, very serious.
"No, really?" Vampires arguing? I could yawn.
And he didn't appreciate my sarcasm, either. He raised blond eyebrows, as if to say, "Can I go on and get to the point? Or are you going to give me grief?"
I spread my hands: "Keep on going."
"Instead of dividing the country the way humans would, we included some of the north and some of the south in every division. We thought it would keep the cross-representation going. So the easternmost division, which is mostly the coastal states, is called Moshup Clan, for the Native American mythical figure, and its symbol is a whale."
Okay, maybe I looked a little glazed at that point. "Look it up on the Internet," Eric said impatiently. "Our clan - the states that met in Rhodes compose this one - is Amun, a god from the Egyptian system, and our symbol is a feather, because Amun wore a feathered headdress. Do you remember that we all wore little feather pins there?"
Ah. No. I shook my head.
"Well, it was a busy summit," Eric conceded.
What with the bombs, and the explosions, and all.
"To our west is Zeus, from the Roman system, and a thunderbolt is their symbol, of course."
Sure. I nodded in profound agreement. Eric may have sensed that I was not exactly on board, by then. He gave me a stern look. "Sookie, this is important. As my wife, you must know this."
I wasn't even going to get into that tonight. "Okay, go ahead," I said.
"The fourth clan, the West Coast division, is called Narayana, from early Hinduism, and its symbol is an eye, because Narayana created the sun and moon from his eyes."
I thought of things I'd like to ask, like "Who the hell sat around and picked the stupid names?" But when I ran my questions through my inner censor, each one sounded snarkier than the last. I said, "But there were some vampires at the summit in Rhodes - the Amun Clan summit - that should be in Zeus, right?"
"Yes, good! There are visitors at the summits, if they have some vested interest in a topic under discussion. Or if they are engaged in a lawsuit against someone in that division. Or if they're going to marry someone in the division whose time it is to have a summit." His eyes crinkled at the corners with his smile of approval. Narayana created the sun from his eyes, I thought. I smiled back.
"I understand," I said. "So, how come Felipe conquered Louisiana, since we're Amun and he's ... Ah, is Nevada in Narayana or Zeus?"
"Narayana. He took Louisiana because he wasn't as frightened of Sophie-Anne as everyone else. He planned, and executed quickly and with precision after the governing ... board ... of Narayana Clan approved his plan."
"He had to present a plan before he moved on us?"
"That's the way it's done. The kings and queens of Narayana wouldn't want their territory weakened if Felipe failed and Sophie-Anne managed to take Nevada. So he had to outline his plan."
"They didn't think we might want to say something about that plan?"
"Not their concern. If we're weak enough to be taken, then we are fair game. Sophie-Anne was a good leader, and much respected. With her incapacitation, Felipe judged we were weak enough to attack. Stan's lieutenant in Texas has struggled these past few months since Stan was injured in Rhodes, and it's been hard for him to hold on to Texas."
"How would they know how hurt Sophie-Anne was? How hurt Stan is?"
"Spies. We all spy on each other." Eric shrugged. (Big deal. Spies.)
"What if one of the rulers in Narayana had owed some favor to Sophie-Anne and decided to tip her off to the takeover?"
"I'm sure some of them considered it. But with Sophie-Anne so severely wounded, I suppose they decided that the odds lay with Felipe."
This was appalling. "How do you trust anyone?"
"I don't. There are two exceptions. You, and Pam."
"Oh," I said. I tried to imagine feeling like that. "That's awful, Eric."
I thought he'd shrug that off. But instead, he regarded me soberly. "Yes. It's not good."
"Do you know who the spies in Area Five are?"
"Felicia, of course. She is weak, and it's not much of a secret that she must be in the pay of someone; probably Stan in Texas, or Freyda in Oklahoma."
"I don't know Freyda." I'd met Stan. "Is Texas in Zeus or Amun?"
Eric beamed at me. I was his star pupil. "Zeus," he said. "But Stan had to be at the summit because he was proposing to go in with Mississippi on a resort development."
"He sure paid for that," I said. "If they have spies, we have spies, too, right?"
"Of course."
"Who? I'm not missing anyone?"
"You met Rasul in New Orleans, I believe."
I nodded. Rasul had been of Middle Eastern stock, and he'd had quite a sense of humor. "He survived the takeover."
"Yes, because he agreed to become a spy for Victor, and therefore for Felipe. They sent him to Michigan."
"Michigan?"
"There is a very large Arab enclave there, and Rasul fits in well. He tells them he fled the takeover." Eric paused. "You know, his life will be ended if you tell anyone this."
"Oh, duh. I'm not telling anyone any of this. For one thing, the fact that you-all named your little slices of America after gods is just ..." I shook my head. Really something. I wasn't sure what. Proud? Stupid? Bizarre? "For another thing, I like Rasul." And I thought it was pretty damn smart of him to take the chance to get out from under Victor's thumb, no matter what he'd agreed to do. "Why are you telling me all this, all of a sudden?"