I had a feeling I knew the punch line to this story. "Okay," I said quickly, "I guess the priest was your first meal." I smiled brightly.
"Oh, no," said Sophie-Anne, formerly Judith. "I told him I was the angel of death, and that I was passing him over since he had been so virtuous."
Considering the state Jake Purifoy had been in when he'd risen for the first time, I could appreciate what a gut-wrenching effort that must have been for the new vampire.
"What did you do next?" I asked.
"After a few years, I found an orphan like me; roaming in the woods, like me," she said, and turned to look at her bodyguard. "We've been together ever since."
And I finally saw an expression in Andre's unlined face: utter devotion.
"He was being forced, like I had been," she said gently. "And I took care of that."
I felt a cold shiver run down my spine. I couldn't have picked something to say if you had paid me.
"The reason I've bored you with my ancient history," the queen said, shaking herself and sitting up even straighter, "is to tell you why I took Hadley under my wing. She, too, had been molested, by her great-uncle. Did he molest you, too?"
I nodded. I'd had no idea he'd gotten to Hadley. He hadn't progressed to actual penetration, only because my parents had died and I'd gone to live with my grandmother. My parents hadn't believed me, but I'd convinced my grandmother I was telling the truth by the time he would have felt I was ripe, when I was about nine. Of course, Hadley had been older. We'd had much more in common than I'd ever thought. "I'm sorry, I didn't know," I said. "Thanks for telling me."
"Hadley talked about you often," the queen said.
Yeah, thanks, Hadley. Thanks for setting me up for the worst... no, wait, that was unfair. Finding out about Bill's massive deception was not the worst thing that had ever happened to me. But it wasn't too far down on my personal list, either.
"That's what I've found out," I said, my voice as cold and crisp as a celery stick.
"You are upset that I sent Bill to investigate you, to find out if you could be of use to me," the queen said.
I took a deep breath, forced my teeth to unclench. "No, I'm not upset with you. You can't help being the way you are. And you didn't even know me." Another deep breath. "I'm upset with Bill, who did know me and went ahead with your whole program in a very thorough and calculated way." I had to drive away the pain. "Besides, why would you care?" My tone was bordering on insolent, which was not wise when you're dealing with a powerful vampire. She'd touched me in a very sore spot.
"Because you were dear to Hadley," Sophie-Anne said unexpectedly.
"You wouldn't have known it from the way she treated me, after she became a teenager," I said, having apparently decided that reckless honesty was the course to follow.
"She was sorry for that," the queen said, "once she became a vampire, especially, and found out what it was like to be a minority. Even here in New Orleans, there is prejudice. We talked about her life often, when we were alone."
I didn't know which made me more uncomfortable, the idea of the queen and my cousin Hadley having sex, or having pillow talk about me afterward.
I don't care if consenting adults have sex, no matter what that sex consists of, as long as both parties agree beforehand. But I don't necessarily need to hear any details, either. Any prurient interest I might have had has been flooded over the years with images from the minds of the people in the bar.
This was turning out to be a long conversation. I wanted the queen to get to the point.
"The point is," the queen said, "I am grateful that you - through the witches - gave me a better idea of how Hadley died. And also you have let me know there is a wider plot against me than just Waldo's jealous heart."
I had?
"So I am in your debt. Tell me what I can do for you now."
"Ah. Send over a lot of boxes so I can pack up Hadley's stuff and get back to Bon Temps? Get someone to take the stuff I don't want to a charity drop-off?"
The queen looked down, and I swear she was smothering a smile. "Yes, I think I can do that," she said. "I'll send some human over tomorrow to do those things."
"If someone could pack the stuff I want into a van and drive it up to Bon Temps, that would be real good," I said. "Maybe I could ride back in that van?"
"Also not a problem," she said.
Now for the big favor. "Do I actually have to go with you to this conference thing?" I asked, which I knew was kind of pushing it.
"Yes," she said.
Okay, stonewall there.
She added, "But I'll pay you handsomely."
I brightened. Some of the money I'd gotten for my previous vampire services was still in my savings account, and I'd gotten a big financial break when Tara "sold" me her car for a dollar, but I was so used to living close to the financial bone that a cushion was always welcome. I was always scared I'd break my leg, or my car would throw a rod, or my house would burn down... wait, that had already happened... well, that some disaster would happen, like a high wind would blow off the stupid tin roof my grandmother had insisted on, or something.
"Did you want something of Hadley's?" I asked her, my train of thought having veered away from money. "You know, a remembrance?"
Something flashed in her eyes, something that surprised me.
"You took the words right out of my mouth," said the queen, with an adorable hint of a French accent.
Uh-oh. It couldn't be good that she'd switched on the charm.
"I did ask Hadley to hide something for me," she said. My bullshit meter was beeping like an alarm clock. "And if you come across it in your packing, I'd like to have it back."
"What does it look like?"
"It's a jewel," she said. "My husband gave it to me as an engagement gift. I happened to leave it here before I got married."
"You're welcome to look in Hadley's jewelry box," I said immediately. "If it belongs to you, of course you have to have it back."
"That's very kind of you," she said, her face back to its regular glassy smoothness. "It's a diamond, a large diamond, and it's fixed on a platinum bracelet."
I didn't remember anything like that in Hadley's stuff, but I hadn't looked carefully. I'd planned to pack Hadley's jewelry box intact so I could pick through it at my leisure in Bon Temps.
"Please, look now," I suggested. "I know that it would be like a faux pas to lose a present from your husband."