“No, don’t go there. You’re where you should be. I’m doing fine. It’s just nice to get away.” There was no way I was bringing her down with me. If I went under, I was going alone.
“I think you’re going to like it here. The firm you’re working at is ultra-casual, nothing like the firms in Boston.”
“I bet. I still can’t believe they hired me with just a phone interview, though.”
She set down her now empty cup. “They only did that interview to make you feel better.”
“My transcript and recommendation letters were enough?” Sure, my letters were good, but not that good.
“You’re my friend. Mr. Morgan was my Dad’s good friend. It’s just how things work around here.” It felt strange to get a job just because of connections, but I figured it didn’t matter as long as I worked hard and proved myself.
“Well, hopefully I won’t let them down.”
“You won’t. You’re superhuman, remember?”
“Uh huh.”
The front door opened, announcing Ben’s return from rehearsal. The night had flown by.
“Wow, I didn’t expect to find you girls still up.” He put down his guitar, leaning over to kiss Molly.
“We’ve had a lot to catch up on.” Molly beamed up at him.
“So, Jake’s officially out. The pool house is ready.” Ben took a seat on the arm of the sofa beside Molly. He definitely had those boy next door good looks, and considering his tanned skin, he probably loved the sun just as much as Molly.
She smiled. “Oh, great.”
“Pool house?” I sat up straighter.
“Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. I found you a place to stay. I know you didn’t want to stay in my old bedroom all summer.” Molly and Ben had bought her childhood home and were fixing it up in stages. Currently, her bedroom looked the way she’d left it senior year of high school—stuffed animals and all.
“So where’s this pool house exactly?” I didn’t want to play the unwelcome house guest, but I also didn’t want to stay at some random person’s home. This was all stuff I probably should have figured out before leaving Boston, but Molly had assured me she’d take care of it all. I’d needed a break from worrying and listened.
“It’s at my parents’ house. My brother finally moved out, so it’s yours for the summer.” Ben slid down off the arm of the couch, pushing Molly over for a minute before pulling her into his lap. I tried not to feel uncomfortable at the intimate gesture.
“Are you sure? Don’t your parents care?” There had to be a catch. People didn’t just let perfect strangers stay in their homes—or pool houses. It sounded so funny. I hadn’t realized Ben was wealthy enough to have such a nice place. But then again, Molly had told me real estate was really cheap in Clayton Falls.
“Not at all. They’re thrilled. First, it gave them an excuse to kick Jake out, plus Mom is excited to have a girl around. She complains to me constantly that Molly isn’t over enough.”
“I can pay something,” I offered quickly. I didn’t have much, but surely I could contribute a little.
“There’s no way my parents are going to take your money. Really, it’s not a problem.”
I decided to drop it. It would be pointless to argue so much that I annoyed my host. “All right. Well, thanks.”
“It’s our pleasure. You’re family, Becca.” Molly reached over and patted my leg.
Family. A word I wasn’t sure I’d ever say again. It only reminded me that Mom was gone. She’d gotten her breast cancer diagnosis years before, but after treatments and a few remissions, I’d almost forgotten that dying was even a possibility. All of that changed when she had the seizure, and we realized her cancer had spread to her brain. Although the radiation treatments stopped the seizures, she was never the same. The terror of watching someone you love become a different person was something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
“I think I’m going to turn in.” I stood up, picking up both the cocoa mugs to bring them into the kitchen.
Molly nodded. “All right, we’ll move you over tomorrow. Then we’ll go by the garage and check on your car.”
“Sounds good.” I leaned over to hug Molly goodnight.
“If you need anything, just ask.”
“Thanks. I’m so tired I’ll probably just collapse.”
“I bet. Sleep well.”
I walked upstairs and got washed up in the small hall bathroom. It felt funny to be in the house where Molly grew up. As close as Molly and I were in college, this was a piece of her I didn’t know much about. She was always a little closed up about her childhood.
I pulled on my favorite summer PJs, avoiding looking directly at my scars out of habit. There was no reason to upset myself before bed. I’d resisted the urge to check Molly’s front door, but I decided to lock her bedroom door just in case. Satisfied no one could barge in without me knowing, I curled up under the covers of her old twin bed and tried to sleep.
It was too dark. Weren’t there any street lights? I was used to the constant glow of the city. At home, if I left my blinds up even a smidge, I had a readymade night light. I thought about turning on the lamp, but I decided to wait until Molly went to bed so she wouldn’t notice the light shining from under my door. I tried to keep my mind occupied, silently singing the lyrics to a song I’d heard on the radio at least a dozen times on my drive down.
I heard Molly’s giggles as she came upstairs with Ben awhile later. I waited until I heard their door close before getting out of bed to turn on the lamp. It was only then, when the darkness had been extinguished and I lay awake in the privacy of the illuminated bedroom, that I let myself feel the jealousy that had been under the surface all evening. I was happy for Molly, I really was—but I knew our friendship as I knew it was over. She had Ben now. She didn’t need me the way she used to. And because of that, I wasn’t allowed to need her. I’d never felt that way when she’d been with Adam, her college boyfriend and fiancé, but then again, I don’t think he ever really completed her. I tried to push my selfish thoughts from my head and eventually drifted off to sleep.
***
After breakfast, Molly and Ben drove me over to my new place for the summer. The pool house was really just one big room with a queen sized bed, a sitting area with a huge TV, and a small kitchen. A bathroom rounded off the place. The best part was that, being the pool house, it was right next to the pool.