He’d left his laptop on—with his email open. I couldn’t help glancing at it, and I thought I would pass out when I saw a very familiar name. I leaned over and opened the email. What the hell? I took a seat on his desk chair and searched his mail archive—there were tons. I felt the tears before I realized I was crying. He’d been emailing with Amy all semester. I found the first one, and I thought my heart had stopped.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Favor
Hey Reed,
I hope Rush is going well. Okay, enough of the pleasantries. I need your assistance. My little cousin’s starting at Harrison, and I think she might need some help. She was a bit of a social hermit in high school, and she might need looking out for. Her name’s Juliet Monroe. She’s a really cool kid, but just not that with it, you know?
Amy
I opened the next one, even though I wanted to vomit.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Re: Favor
Hi Reed,
She’s sleeping with Dylan Bradley. You have to make sure he doesn’t hurt her. She’s totally impressionable and thinks he walks on water. Please help her out.
I couldn’t read the rest. I needed to find his replies.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Favor
Hey Amy,
I met Juliet, and I’ll keep an eye out for her.
And the next.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Re: Favor
I gave her a job. That should make it easy to keep her close.
I couldn’t take any more. I slammed the laptop closed and walked down the stairs in a state of disbelief. My chest ached—this couldn’t be happening.
I tried to just leave—not ready to confront Reed, but he stopped me.
“Juliet? Did you find your phone?”
I turned toward him, well aware that my face was stained with tears. “Yes, and I found a lot more than that. You have a funny way of looking out for someone.”
I felt gross, worthless. This was so much worse than Dylan because I’d actually fallen in love with Reed.
He paled and reached out for my arm. I jerked away. “Juliet? What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong? Has this all been a joke? Make fun of the loser girl? Make her think you actually care!”
“What? Wait, did you see—”
“The emails—yeah. I guess watching out for me meant having sex with me, huh?”
“Juliet.”
“How could you!” I beat my hands into his chest over and over.
“Come on, it’s okay. We can talk about this...”
“No. We’re not talking this out. You’ve been lying to me this whole time.”
I walked out onto the porch, and he followed. “Let me explain.”
I crossed my arms. “Explain? Explain why you decided to play me like an idiot?”
“That’s not what happened.”
“No, what happened is you hurt me more than anyone ever has.”
“It’s not like that. I love you.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Yes, I do! Did I single you out at the house because of Amy? Yes. But I noticed you before I knew your name. I liked you from the moment I met you at laser tag. And then the more I got to know you, the more I found to like.”
“I saw the emails. You gave me the job to watch me.”
“And maybe that was part of it—but it’s been so much more since. I’m crazy about you. You have to realize that.”
“I can’t do this. The joke’s over. I admit it, I’m the idiot who believed you actually cared about me.” I tried to stay calm, but I was breaking inside.
“I do care about you. I love you.” He reached out and tried to hug me.
I pulled away. “I am so tired of this. I’m so tired of guys using me and messing with me. Maybe it’s my fault.”
“It’s not your fault. I never meant to hurt you. I was going to tell you. I just didn’t know how.”
“Well, you don’t have to worry about that now.”
“Please, Juliet. You have to believe me. I’m not playing a game. I’m in love with you.”
“I don’t know what to think anymore.” I turned and walked away.
“Juliet, please.” His voice was hoarse.
I didn’t turn around, not once. I planned to head to my dorm, but as I passed the Delta Mu house, I made a decision. I didn’t hesitate as I walked up the brick steps and pushed open the front door.
“Juliet, hey.” Jana looked up from the book she was reading.
“Hey.”
“Are you okay?” Mallory asked, getting up to walk over to me.
“I don’t know. Do any of you have time to talk?”
All eight girls in the room put down what they were doing, but it was Amanda who gave me the hug. “We always have time to talk.”
That did it. I lost it. I was only vaguely aware of being led over to the couch.
“What happened?” Mallory asked softly.
“Reed and I broke up.” I could barely get the words out.
“Oh no! Why? I thought things were going great.” Mallory put an arm around me.
“It was all a lie. All of it.”
“What do you mean? What was a lie?” Amanda asked.
“He did everything because of my cousin.”
“Amy? How does Amy have anything to do with you guys?” Amanda leaned forward.
I told them. I started with the list. They were on the edge of their seats as I described the skinny dipping. “What I didn’t know was that she asked Reed to look out for me.”
“So? Maybe that’s why he befriended you at first, but he’s in love with you. Everyone knows that.” Mallory gave me a slight smile.
“He’s been emailing with her this whole time. He never told me. I was a project or something. Help the hopeless loser.”
“First of all, you are not a loser. And anyone who says otherwise is an idiot.” Jana moved to sit on the floor in front of me.
“Amy pretty much did.” I didn’t even want to think about Amy. Did she really see me that way? Maybe I should have assumed she knew Reed, but to be emailing him? I couldn’t have been more blindsided.