“I guess I did. But really, I only saw him for a week or so before meeting Calvin, and then nothing else compared.” I absently pulled at a loose piece of string from the quilt.
She smiled. “And something tells me that you and Liam got closer during the year when you were apart from Calvin.”
“Mom, nothing happened. We were friends; my feelings are for Calvin.” I started to feel funny. She wasn’t exactly accusing me of doing anything wrong, but I didn’t like it.
“I know that, but that does not mean you do not have feelings for Liam. Of course, you will not act on them, and I trust he will not, either. He seems acutely aware of your position with Calvin.” She paused. “Well, and he is probably terrified of your brother’s reaction anyway.”
“Mom, Liam and I are just friends. Just like James is just a friend. His kissing me meant nothing and—”
“James Mendel kissed you?” The look of shock on her face reminded me that she didn’t know about that yet.
“It wasn’t a big deal. We were out, and this guy was hitting on me, and when I asked James to get him to leave me alone, he kissed me.”
“Real subtle.” She seemed aggravated, but not exactly mad.
“That’s just James. He does impulsive things just to annoy me sometimes.”
“I agree with you there. And I trust your instincts, so I will trust him. I do not believe we should judge a man by his father, but that kind of behavior reminds me of Blake.”
“What? James is nothing like Blake!” I had raised my voice, and I hoped no one else could hear me. I felt so guilty about the unexplained doubts that lingered every time I thought of James that I jumped to defend him even faster than usual.
“Blake was not always the way he is today. He was never the nicest boy. As I explained, he was a lot like James. He was no Liam or Calvin.” She gave me a small smile, and I could feel myself blush.
“So he was once something other than evil?”
“Of course. I do not know of anyone who is born evil. He was actually a good friend of both your uncles.”
“I still can’t believe you have another brother I knew nothing about.” I didn’t want to make a big deal about it, but I couldn’t just pretend that I wasn’t bothered by how much she had hidden from me.
“It was too complicated. Honestly, would you have believed me?” She watched me intently, searching my eyes for something.
I thought about her question. “Probably not. I would have thought it was just another one of your fairy tales…” I stopped, unable to quite accept the realization that she had tried to tell me the truth in the only way she could without putting us in danger. How had I not put two and two together before?
“Wait. All those stories you used to tell us before bed, they were real, weren’t they?” My head filled with memories of stories about a princess who lived in an old castle.
“Well, they were partially based on the truth. I never fought dragons.” She laughed and her whole face relaxed. She looked more like the mom I remembered.
“So, when did Blake change?”
“After I became the Essence. He was upset that he was not my Gerard, and he grew darker.”
“Darker how?”
“He was more sullen and became determined to figure out why certain people became Guardians and others did not. It was all very awkward because his best friend was my Gerard.” She sighed.
I could tell she was thinking about her Gerard. I couldn’t fathom losing Calvin; even our time apart hurt horribly. “I’m sorry, Mom. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been. Do you still miss him?”
“Yes. I do not think one ever gets over that sort of loss, but in the end, I was lucky enough to meet your father. Having you and Kevin has been the most wonderful experience in my life. I would not trade my family for anything—even my Gerard.” I could feel her hurt, but I knew she was speaking the truth. I hadn’t thought about it before—how Kevin and I only existed because Mom lost her Gerard.
“Do not worry about that. You and Calvin are reunited, and I can tell that he makes you happy. I really did not mean to suggest anything by bringing up your feelings for Liam. I only wanted to explain the difference between Energo and how you were raised.”
“I love him, Mom.” The words flowed out quickly. I had never told anyone but Calvin that.
“I know. I can see it in your face, and I can feel it.” She stood and rested a hand on my shoulder. “With that thought, I think it is time that we both get some sleep. We have a big day tomorrow.” She tucked me in like she used to when I was a little girl and kissed my forehead. “Goodnight, Charlotte.”
“Goodnight, Mom.” I slipped off into one of the best sleeps in ages.
***
We left early under a hazy sky. A cool mist made it difficult to see beyond ten feet. Mom didn’t need to ask if I was the one who had created the weather conditions; she just smiled.
“Do we have you to thank for the cover?” Calvin wrapped his arm around me again, and I snuggled into his side, content to be back with him. I wasn’t certain if my abilities were better because I was with Calvin and my mom, or if it really was all about the confidence, but it felt good to be useful.
“Yeah, it was me. Isn’t it nice to have an Essence around? I just hope someone has a good sense of direction.”
“It’s more than nice, and I am glad to see you still have your sense of humor.” He leaned down to kiss me lightly. Calvin and I were finally together again, and I couldn’t get enough. Any lingering anxiety over how little I knew him was alleviated after talking to my mom. When I allowed myself to really feel like the Essence—to really feel at home in Energo—I accepted that our bond was natural.
We discussed strategy as we walked. I had finally learned to use more of my abilities, which would be a huge help, but we still needed numbers. We hadn’t heard from Kevin, so we had no idea how his mission to recruit the other Pact nations had gone. I was confident. I couldn’t imagine my brother failing at anything. The nervousness bubbling inside of me was all about my part. I knew I had the potential, but I still had to use my power in the heat of battle. As James had pointed out at Icentris, I couldn’t afford to hesitate. Seeming to sense my unease, Calvin pulled me in closer, and I let myself relax.
When we stopped for lunch, Calvin led me to the side. “Would you care to eat lunch on our own?”