“I’m sorry, Casey. I really am.”
“Please. Don’t apologize. That’s not it. I’m just emotional today. That’s all. You apologizing only makes it worse.”
“How can it make it worse?”
“It just does.” She lifted her head.
A few weeks earlier, I would have let it go, but I wasn’t doing that again. I reached out for her, cupping the back of her head in my hands. “No one’s allowed to make you cry like that.” I brushed my lips gently against hers. “No one.” I touched my lips to hers again, this time less gently. She didn’t respond at first but then her lips started moving against mine. I kept it slow, making sure she was into the kiss before moving it faster. She moaned as I moved to deepen the kiss. I lost all thoughts. All I cared about was the taste of her mouth and the way her body felt next to mine.
She pushed against my chest and broke the kiss. “I can’t.”
“You can’t or you don’t want to?” I wasn’t going to play games. I needed to know what was going on in her head.
“I can’t… not yet.”
“Because of Jared?”
“No. Because of me.” There was a vulnerable honesty in her words.
“Okay. Will you stay here tonight?” I needed that. I needed to at least know she was safe.
“If it’s okay, I’d like to sleep—” She stopped.
“What is it?” I pressed, hoping the next words were the ones I was mentally filling in the blanks with.
“I’d like to sleep here.” She patted the bed.
“You never have to ask.” I took her hand. “Never.”
She smiled and pulled her hand from mine. I reluctantly let go.
She unzipped her jeans and stepped out of them. “I’ll be a second.” She walked into the bathroom and shut the door.
Considering she’d just cut off the kiss, I knew we weren’t going to be having sex, but she hadn’t asked for shorts. If she was willing to sleep in the same bed with me, wearing only one of my t-shirts and a pair of panties, things were looking up.
I debated waiting for her to come back then decided it would be less awkward if I just got in bed. I slipped in on my usual side. A moment later, the bathroom door opened and she walked out with her hair down and her face a little bit flushed. “I raided your bathroom for mouthwash.” She dropped her still damp cami on the floor next to her jeans. The motion reminded me of how little she was wearing.
“I want you to feel at home here.” Here as in my room, not the guest room. We weren’t going back there. Maybe she wasn’t ready for an all-out relationship or sex, but we weren’t going back to friends.
“Thanks.” She slipped in next to me. The motion made the shirt ride up, giving me a quick look at her smooth upper leg. I ached to touch her in that spot, to explore every inch of her in a way I’d never been able to before.
She snuggled in next to me. I didn’t worry about the light—it was already off. There were definitely some benefits to being with another Pteron. She lay beside me for a minute before she shifted, resting her head on my chest. I ran a hand down her back, and she sighed. “I’ve missed you.”
Those three words were more than enough. Casey was back whether she knew it or not.
Chapter Sixteen
Casey
The sunlight flooding in through the glass doors woke me up. I rolled over, wanting to hold on to a few more minutes of sleep, and came face to face with Toby. His peaceful expression had me awe struck. I’d never realized just how handsome he was. Part of me knew I should get up and start my day, but I was just so comfortable.
As if sensing he was being watched, Toby opened his eyes. “Good morning.”
“Ah. Hi.” I nervously smoothed out my hair. I didn’t have the drunken excuse to explain my reasons for spending the night in Toby’s bed. I just needed him close.
“What do you want for breakfast?” He pulled me against him.
“Oh. I should probably go.”
“No way. The last time we spent the night in the same bed, everything fell apart. This time is going to be different.”
“But I already told you I couldn’t be with you.”
“You’re with me, Casey. When you spend the night in someone’s bed rather than walking the few steps down the hall to sleep alone, it means you want to be with them—that you can be with them. I’m not going to act like a fourth grader and make you call me your boyfriend, but what we have here is something. And whatever that makes you to me, I’m making you breakfast.”
I smiled. I couldn’t help it. His words sent a shiver through me. I liked the new take charge Toby. “Okay. Then do you have any leftover bread? I’d love some French toast.”
His eyes lit up. “I even have pannetone.”
“Oh this is going to be good.” I hopped out of bed, completely unconcerned with the fact that I was only wearing an oversized t-shirt. I really could be myself with him. Toby hopped out after me and headed over to his dresser. I touched his arm when he pulled out a t-shirt. “Nope. If we’re a something, we’re cooking in what we slept in.”
He laughed that deep throaty laugh of his. “Oh yeah? I’m cooking in my boxers? Well, it’s worth it to watch you walk around in only my t-shirt. I like seeing you in my clothes.”
“Next time you’ll have to leave out one of your dress shirts for me. Get the full cliché experience.”
“As you like to point out, I wear them a lot. You’ll get your chance.”
I loved how easily we fell into banter with each other—and we did it without sex. Unlike with Jared where everything had to be so primal and erotic, Toby and I could exist in a flirtatious but more relaxed way, but it couldn’t stay that way forever. Toby wanted sex, and based on his new more forward stance, he was going to want it soon. I wanted it too… I just didn’t want to feel like a slut. For the millionth time that week, I regretted sleeping with Jared.
“I love your kitchen.” I pulled out eggs and milk from the fridge.
“I know. You’ve expressed your feelings on the matter before.” He came up behind me, cornering me between his warm body and the cool counter top. “And as I always say, it’s yours to use anytime.”
“You’re generous.” My body responded to his closeness in a way it hadn’t when we were in bed together. This was different, and I wasn’t completely sure why. Maybe it was because he called me out on my feelings.