He decided to get right to the point. “I know Kadie has told you that I’ve decided to let you go. And that you’re concerned about having your memories of this place erased.” His gaze swept the room, resting briefly on each face. “I can understand your apprehension. However, it doesn’t concern me. I don’t really give a damn what any of you want, or what you think. I know humans spend a lot of time worrying about right and wrong and about what’s fair. The only thing I worry about is survival. I haven’t existed as long as I have by taking chances or putting my fate in the hands of others. So, it comes down to this. I can erase your memories of the time you spent in this place and let you go. Or I can end your life. The choice is yours. For those of you who want to stay here, that’s fine. I won’t erase your memories of each other, only your memories of what went on here. If that seems harsh . . .” He shrugged. “You can let me know your decision tomorrow night,” he said, then vanished from their sight.
Kadie glanced around the living room. Most of the faces registered shock to one degree or another. She couldn’t blame them, although the choice seemed relatively easy to her. Always choose life. That had been her grandmother’s motto.
“Well,” Jeremy said, “that’s pretty cut and dried. His way or no way. I’m goin’ to bed.” He swayed unsteadily as he staggered toward the front door, then glanced over his shoulder. “Anybody wanna come with me?”
To Kadie’s surprise, Chelsea followed Jeremy out of the house.
“How long has that been going on?” Shirley asked.
“Not long,” Pauline said.
There were a few scattered remarks about Saintcrow, none of them favorable. Nancy and the others were subdued and thoughtful as they took their leave, until only Rosemary and Kadie remained.
“It isn’t fair,” Rosemary declared.
“I know.”
“Are you going to stay with him?”
“I don’t have any choice. He hasn’t offered to let me go.”
“Would you leave if you had the choice?”
“I honestly don’t know.” Kadie shook her head. “If he wasn’t a vampire, I’d probably fall in love with him.”
“Are you sure you’re not already in love with him?”
“I’m sure,” Kadie said adamantly.
And wondered if it was the truth.
Chapter 25
Saintcrow was standing in front of the fireplace in the living room when Kadie returned to his house.
She cast about for something to say, but nothing came to mind. She understood his reasoning, just as she understood why Rosemary and the others objected.
“Do you think I’m wrong?” he asked. “Do you think I’m a monster?”
Curling up in the chair beside the hearth, she tucked her legs beneath her. “No,” she said quietly. “I don’t think you’re a monster.”
“But you think it’s wrong for me to take away their memories?”
“Yes, but I can understand why you think it’s necessary.”
“But you don’t approve?”
“No. What difference does it make if they tell people about this place after you’ve gone? If there are vampire hunters, then there are already people who know you exist. Just because I didn’t know before I came here . . .”
“My point exactly. Other than hunters, very few people believe in vampires. The ones who know about us are fewer still. I’d like to keep it that way.”
Moving away from the hearth, Saintcrow knelt in front of her. “I will not put my existence—or your life—in jeopardy for a handful of people who mean nothing to me. If enough people start to believe, more hunters will come. In the old days, long before you were born, the mere mention of the word vampire was enough to send men and women thronging the streets wielding torches and axes. Very few vampires were destroyed but a great many innocent men and women were killed.”
It was an impassioned speech, one that resonated with truth and logic from Saintcrow’s point of view, and reminded her, yet again, of the differences between them. Though he had once been human, he no longer thought of himself as such. Was it possible for them to have any kind of life together with a gulf like that between them? A gulf only she could cross, and then only if she was willing to give up her humanity to become what he was.
He lifted one brow, mute evidence that he had been reading her mind.
“Rylan, will you let me go with the others?”
He shook his head. “No.”
“Will you ever let me go?”
“Perhaps. In time.”
She bit down on her lower lip to keep from begging for her freedom. What was the point when she knew it wouldn’t do any good?
“You can lie to yourself, Kadie, but you can’t lie to me.”
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t really want to leave me. I know it. And you know it.” He snorted softly. “Even Rosemary knows it.”
“I hate you.” She spoke the words, but there was no heat behind them. And no truth.
He drew her down onto his lap, then wrapped his arms around her. “If I can’t have your love,” he murmured, lightly stroking her cheek, “I’ll take your hatred.”
The trouble was she didn’t hate him, even though she knew she should. Why didn’t she? He had stolen her freedom. He was keeping her from her family. He was a vampire. Yet there was an indefinable connection between them. Even now, the wanting in his eyes warmed her to the depths of her soul. Yes, he was a vampire. Some might consider him a monster. But there was goodness in him. Kindness. Tenderness. He had spared Carl Freeman’s life. He had let her buy chocolates for Marti and the others. Right or wrong, wisdom or folly, she wanted to be with him.
“It’ll take a few days to send the others where they want to go,” he said. “In the meantime, pack up whatever you want to take with you.”
“Do you mind if I call my mom and dad tomorrow?”
“No.”
Her quick smile was his reward.
Kadie woke late after a restless night. Her dreams were fragmented, filled with nightmare images of Saintcrow eliminating everyone in Morgan Creek. In one scene, she walked streets littered with desiccated corpses. In another, she was the only living creature left in town. Unable to escape, with no way to obtain food or drink, she saw herself wasting away. On the brink of death.
Her own horrified scream had roused her.