Vicki glanced around her house. Except for a fine layer of dust on everything, the house looked the same as always. Odd, that it no longer felt like home.
"Oh!" she exclaimed. "My fish!" How could she have forgotten about them?
They were dead, of course. Looking at them, she burst into tears.
" Victoria." Antonio had followed her into the den. Drawing her into his arms, he held her close. He knew she wasn't crying for the fish, at least not entirely. It was a natural reaction to everything she had been through in the past few weeks, a release of tension and fear and the horror of Falco's death.
He stroked her back, his whole body attuned to her every breath, her every heartbeat.
The fragrance of her hair and skin teased his nostrils, the scent of her blood spoke to his hunger.
Gradually, her tears subsided and she stood, unmoving, in his arms, her cheek pillowed on his chest. Awareness sparked between them.
Antonio rested his chin on the top of her head. How long could he refuse to take what he so desperately wanted? How could he take her innocence knowing he was going to leave her?
He groaned low in his throat as his body warred with his conscience.
She leaned into him, her arms sliding up around his neck. "You want me," she said, "I know you do." Drawing his head down, she pressed her lips to his.
He crushed her body to his, his mouth devouring hers as if he could never get enough, as if he would never let her go. She was every dream he had refused to acknowledge, every hope for a future he could never have.
His hands caressed her, memorizing every soft, sweet curve, the silky-smooth texture of her hair, the line of her back, the way her body so perfectly molded itself to his.
He closed his eyes, imprinting the way her hands felt on his body as she began a slow exploration of her own, the way her breath caught in her throat when she felt his arousal, the way her tongue dueled with his.
"Antonio, please… "
He looked into her eyes, eyes filled with love and trust and yearning, and knew he would never be able to forgive himself if he took what she was offering. Making love to her, stealing her virginity, would prove he was as much a monster as Dimitri Falco, but instead of taking Victoria 's life, he would be taking her innocence, something he had no right to take and nothing to give in return.
" Victoria, listen to me— "
"No! I don't want to hear it. Not now. Not ever."
"There can be no future for us, sweeting. You must know that."
"I don't believe that!" But there it was again, Lady Kathryn's voice telling her that like must marry like.
She opened her mouth to argue, but found herself unable to speak when his gaze caught and held hers.
"You will hear me," he said. "I cannot be what you want or what you need. I cannot be a husband or a father. I cannot share your life, and you cannot share mine. In time you would come to hate me for the sacrifices you would have to make to stay with me. I told you before, a vampire's existence is a life against nature. I could not bear your hatred. I could not bear to watch you grow old, knowing I had cheated you of the chance to live a normal life, to have a family. I love you. You must never doubt that. I love you as I have never loved anyone else. I know I told you I would stay for a while, but I think it is best for both of us if I go now. Prolonging our good-bye will not make it easier for either of us."
He kissed her then, pouring all his love and his longing into that one soul-deep kiss.
"I love you, Victoria Cavendish," he said fervently. "Please forgive me."
Unable to speak or to move, she could only stand there while tears dripped down her cheeks.
"Buono notte, my sweet one," he whispered, and disappeared in a swirling gray mist.
Released from his spell, she sank down on the floor. Wrapping her arms around her waist, she rocked back and forth while silent tears rained down her cheeks.
He was gone, and she would never fall in love again.
She grieved for a week and then she pulled herself together and went back to work.
Gus welcomed her with a bear hug and a smile, and after the first hour or so, it was as if she had never been away.
When people asked where she had been for so long, she shrugged and said she had been on a much-needed vacation.
Bobbie Sue was glowing with happiness, eager to show Vicki her engagement ring, properly outraged at the way Antonio had behaved.
"I can't believe he would just leave you like that!" Bobbie Sue said during one of their breaks. "I mean, really, after all you did for him! Why, you saved his life, the ungrateful… man!"
"Oh, Bobbie Sue," Vicki had said, fighting tears. "If he'd been a man, he'd still be here."
It stormed on Thanksgiving, reminding Vicki of the night she had first seen Antonio. But then, it seemed that everything reminded her of Antonio.
Bobbie Sue had invited Vicki to have dinner at her house, but it was too painful to be around Bobbie Sue and Tom, to see how happy they were together.
Instead, Vicki spent the holiday with Mrs. Heath. The older woman listened intently as Vicki told her everything that had happened since she left Pear Blossom Creek.
"He's dead," Mrs. Heath exclaimed softly. "I can scarcely believe it. Do you know what this means? It means I don't have to be afraid anymore. I can sit outside at night and watch the fireflies. Bless you, child!"
Time passed. Days turned to weeks. Christmas came and Vicki went to visit her mother and her sister for a few days, but she was glad to get back home, glad to get back to work.
She accepted a date with Arnie for New Year's Eve and they went to a party at Bobbie Sue's house. She tried to have a good time. She danced with Arnie and laughed at his jokes; she even let him take her outside, where they stood in the shadows and necked like a couple of teenagers, but her heart wasn't in it. His kisses, while pleasant, didn't make her heart pound or send her blood racing.
With a sigh, he let her go. "I keep hoping I can light some sparks between us," he said glumly. "But I guess the fire's just on my side."
"I'm sorry, Arnie, really I am, but… "
"It's that guy, isn't it? That stranger that was hanging around for a while?"
She nodded, afraid to mention Antonio's name for fear she would burst into tears.
"Well, you can't blame a guy for tryin' one more time," Arnie said with a wistful smile.
"But if you've got it bad for the guy, why didn't you let him know?"
"I did, but we had a few problems we couldn't work out."
"I'm sorry, Vicki. If there's anything I can do to help…?"