I didn’t look at Josh, but out of the corner of my eye I could see him standing at the counter, stuffing his face with handfuls of organic rice crisps out of the bag. Finally I said, “You owe me.”
“I don’t owe you anything.” He sidled over and tried to stick a rice crisp in my ear. “You’re supposed to take me with you. That’s what siblings do.”
I batted his hand away and shook the tofu-y spatula at him. “If I ever do go pro, I have no obligation to take you with me. Younger siblings have to earn that kind of favor. You told on me for winning a contest, you ass! You owe me. And you know what I want in return.”
He scowled at me. “Not the pants.”
I nodded gravely. “Give me your pants.”
These were no magical traveling pants. They were only my little brother’s broken-in jeans that fit me perfectly and that he almost never let me wear. I’d even tried on the identical size and style at the store, but they weren’t the same.
He knew how I loved them, too, so he sabotaged them just to irk me. Once he tore a hole in the butt so my panties would show. This might have been an accident, but I was pretty sure the edges of the hole were cut, not frayed. I got revenge on him by patching up the hole with a little red heart. Infuriatingly he wore them like that out in public, as if I didn’t have enough social problems without a little brother with hearts sewn onto his behind.
This time, as I stood in my bedroom and looked the jeans over just in case before pulling them on, I saw that he’d written BOY TOY in big block letters across the butt in permanent marker, right next to the heart patch. Never mind that he would have to wear them to school like that. It was worth it to him if he embarrassed me. Gah, he might have made it to the eighth grade, but he was still such a little brother! When we were fifty he’d still be stuffing my snow boots with wet macaroni.
But I had to wear the jeans tonight while I had the chance, and the marker would probably take years to wash out. That was okay. I enjoyed feeling like I looked good, but I wouldn’t be trying to impress anyone with my outfit tonight. For winning the competition, Chloe and Liz were throwing me a “party” at Chloe’s parents’ hotel. What this really meant was that Chloe would suck face with Gavin, Liz would suck face with Davis, and I would keep the onion dip company. No one would notice my BOY TOY butt. It was sweet of Chloe and Liz to intend to celebrate my win and show me a good time, even if I knew it wouldn’t work out that way.
So after dinner I rode the bus back into town, waved to the doorman at the front entrance of the hotel, and made my way downstairs into the kitchen adjoining the banquet room. A beautiful cake frosted with CONGRATULATIONS HAYDEN! waited on the counter, and a chick wailed lonely emo lyrics from the stereo. But the room was empty.
“Hello?” I called, my voice echoing above the music.
There was a scream, and then a door opened. Chloe stepped out of the pantry, smoothing her hands through her mussed blond hair. “Hey girl! Oh my God, you look so awesome in those jeans!”
“Thanks. Josh let me borrow them. You’ll never see them again unless I find something else to coerce him with, but it’ll be two years before he’s old enough to drive down to Denver and buy crack.”
“I’m serious.” She looked me up and down. “You could be a model.”
“Selling what? Hamburgers, like the Wendy’s girl? I have red hair and freckles.”
“Think about Lindsay Lohan.”
“I’d rather not,” I muttered as Chloe turned me around backward and lifted up my coat to admire my ass.
Then she gasped. “Oh my God, ‘BOY TOY’?”
“That’s me, fast and loose.” This came out sounding more wistful than I’d intended, and I hoped she didn’t guess I was thinking about Nick. “Speaking of which, I take it you and Gavin are rearranging the soup cans?” I nodded toward the pantry.
“Ah … yeah.” Her cheeks tinged pink. “We’re almost through with our inventory.”
“You are?” I exclaimed.
“I mean, that didn’t come out right.” She blushed more deeply. It was hilarious to see Chloe flustered, which happened only once a year or so. She must really like Gavin, which I still found bizarre.
“We’ll be out in a sec,” she said. “Liz and Davis are in the hot tub.”
They certainly were. The back of the kitchen was a wall of windows overlooking the hotel’s heated pool and hot tub. Steam rose from the water and wisped into the night.
Over Chloe’s shoulder I could see Liz and Davis deep in the hot tub, seeking refuge from the frigid winter air, kissing slowly. I didn’t have the heart to interrupt. Knowing them, it had taken them half an hour to work up the courage to touch each other at all.
“No hurry.” I winked to show Chloe my support for taking inventory with Gavin. It was very important that a winter resort hotel never run out of soup. She backed into the pantry and closed the door.
I examined my cake on the counter again. CONGRATULATIONS HAYDEN! The only thing worse than being abandoned at my own victory party was letting my friends know I cared about this, and making them feel bad about it so they stayed with me instead of stealing the alone-time they really wanted with their boyfriends. You know what it was like? It was exactly like being grateful to my friends in Tennessee for continuing to hang out with me when I was in a wheelchair, but knowing all along that they’d rather ditch me.
I missed Everett Walsh for the first time since we’d broken up last week.
Suddenly I realized I was staring at Liz and Davis again, his dark hand stroking her porcelain complexion. Okay, I would not stare at my friends making out like I was love-starved. From the hot tub my gaze traveled up, over the faux-rustic shops of downtown Snowfall, and the white lights strung in the bare trees. The dark mountain looming over the town was visible in the night only because starlight reflected on the snowy slopes. I’d always regarded that mountain as my friend. It had given me years of highs induced by sun and speed. It had helped me regain so much of the confidence I’d lost when I’d broken my leg. Tonight, for the first time ever, the mountain looked cold and menacing. I shivered.
I knew one way to warm up, besides the hot tub and the pool. I hurried to the locker room to change into the bikini and flip-flops I’d brought to enjoy the hotel amenities. Then I dashed back through the cold banquet room. The door into the hallway squealed, letting anyone in the sauna know I was coming.