Since there was nothing more that could be done about my "condition," as I thought of it, I went to see my mother. She'd been through worse than hell in the past two weeks. In order to get over my body's refusal to move, however, I drank from Bones, noting with a sense of unease how quickly it made me feel better. I'd been so proud of my progress, but turns out, none of my progress had really been mine. I'd gone from being a half-breed to being a mostly dead power leech. I felt like a fraud as a vampire, or more accurately, an even bigger freak.
When we didn't go upstairs to see my mother, but continued down a narrow hall under the basement, I was surprised to discover she was in the equivalent of a vampire holding cell.
"Why?" I asked. "Isn't she over her bloodlust for humans yet?"
"It's for her protection," Bones replied in a clipped tone. "She's tried to harm herself. Repeatedly."
Oh no. I tried to brace myself as Bones nodded to the guard outside a steel door, and we were let in.
My mother sat in the corner of the small room. From the looks of her, she hadn't showered or changed clothes, either. Her long brown hair was streaked with blood and dirt, as was the rest of her. She didn't even glance up to see who'd entered the room.
"Mom," I said softly. "It's Catherine."
That picked her head up. I gasped to see brightly glowing green eyes fixed on me and the hint of fangs under her lip as she spoke.
"If you ever loved me, tell me you're here to kill me, because I cannot live like this."
My hands fisted while pain seared its way into my heart. "I'm so sorry for what happened," I began, never feeling more helpless, "but you can - "
"Can what?" her voice lashed out. "Live as a murderer? I killed people, Catherine! I ripped into their throats and murdered them while they fought to get away. I can't live with that!"
It was only my rage that kept me from bursting into tears. That bastard Gregor put people in with my mother after he'd changed her, knowing what would happen. No new vampire could keep from drinking someone to death while in the first craze of blood hunger. If Bones hadn't already been dead, I'd have killed him myself several times over when caught in the grips of my own hunger.
"It wasn't your fault," I tried desperately.
She looked away in disgust. "You don't understand."
"I do."
Bones's measured tone made my mother look up. "I understand exactly," he went on. "Ian changed me against my will, drinking me to death while I tried to fight him off. Then I awoke in a burial ground with a young man in my arms, the poor lad's throat chewed open and the most wonderful taste in my mouth. That happened six more times until I controlled my hunger enough not to kill, and believe me, Justina, I hated myself more each time. Yet I survived, and you will, too."
"I don't want to survive," she shot back, standing now. "It's my choice, and I refuse to live this way!"
"Rodney believed in you." My voice choked at the memory of my lost friend. "He said if we could get you back, you'd make it. No matter what had happened to you."
"Rodney's dead," she replied, pink tears glittering in her eyes.
Before I could blink, Bones hauled my mother up by her shirt, her feet dangling several inches off the ground.
"Rodney was six years old when I found him, orphaned and starving in the streets of Poland. I raised him, loved him, then helped turn him into a ghoul - all a century before you were even born. He died saving you, so you will not disrespect his sacrifice by killing yourself. I don't care if you hate what you are every bloody day for the rest of your life, you're going to live because Rodney's earned that. Do you understand me?"
Bones gave her a shake, then dropped her. She staggered as she fell, but I couldn't bring myself to reprimand Bones. The pain in his voice had been too raw, too deep.
The door opened, and Spade came in. He looked as haggard as I felt, his normally teasing tiger-colored gaze bleak and hard.
"Gregor's alive, and he's decided to accept your challenge. He'll be here tomorrow night."
I closed my eyes for a moment. Why now? Why so soon after this last devastating blow?
Of course, that was probably why Gregor had done it, hoping to capitalize on Bones's grief over losing his friend. Or maybe Gregor's ego couldn't stand the fact that soon, everyone would know Bones had snatched my mother out from under him in addition to keeping his wife. Gregor's greatest weakness is his pride, Vlad had said. Maybe Gregor's pride couldn't handle the repeated blows it had been dealt.
"Tomorrow, then," Bones agreed.
"What's the challenge?" my mother asked.
"A fight to the death," Bones replied shortly.
My mother was still sprawled on the floor, but a different look grew in her glowing, pink-tinged eyes. Anger replaced her previous self-loathing and despair.
"Kill Gregor. If you do, I'll live like this no matter how much I hate it," she growled.
"I'll kill him," Bones replied in that same unflinching tone.
A spasm of fear gripped me. Tomorrow night, either Bones would make good on that vow - or he'd be dead.
Chapter Thirty-Three
BONES STOOD IN FRONT OF ME, WEARING nothing but a pair of loose-fitting black pants. I tried to choke back my panic, but no matter how bland I kept my expression, the sickly-sour scent permeating from me gave me away.
He squeezed my hands. His were warm from his recent meal. Mine were icy by comparison.
"Maybe I could have burned Gregor to death yesterday, given time," I said, hating what was coming next. "Why did you bite me when you flew us away? You might not have needed to do this if you hadn't sucked so much blood out of me."
A bark of wry laughter came from Bones. "Indeed, but not how you're thinking. You were burning me as I held you, Kitten. It was either let you fry me, or bite you and hope that draining you combined with the power of the sun doused your flames, or drop you. Still critiquing my choice?"
I'd burned Bones, too?
"I hope this power goes away," I said, meaning it.
He shrugged. "It might. Vampires only sustain power from human blood for a few days until we need to feed again to replenish our strength. The same dwindling-down effect could hold true for you, and I don't fancy you biting Tepesh again to refresh your fire abilities."
"Never again," I agreed, shuddering at the thought of burning Bones. Who would want power like that if you couldn't control it, and it hurt those you loved?
Spade entered without knocking. "It's time," he said. His face was tight and emotionless, even though I knew he was as wound up as I was.