He flexed his jaw when she stumbled over a dip in the sand she couldn't see, but he didn't try to steady her. She'd only smack his hands away.
"Black Jack had no intention of letting me leave that room alive. Did you notice the gunfire behind us, or the other vampires rushing the room? He'd summoned them, and not to welcome me as his new partner."
She paused at that, but then kept walking. Spade didn't point out that she had no idea where she was going. He reckoned she realized that herself.
"You sent me away so I wouldn't know you were going to kill him."
"Yes."
She finally quit walking. Spade stayed back several paces, giving Denise her space.
"What was he so excited to talk to you alone about?"
Rage coursed through him at the memory, sharpening his tone. "He was mostly stalling until his mates showed up with weapons, but he talked about all the quid we'd make with package deals on you."
Denise might not be able to make out his features in the blackness around them, but he could see hers, and her expression hardened.
"What sort of package deals?"
"Selling shagging and biting at the same time," Spade replied bluntly. "That's why he was so pleased that you were a beautiful woman. The opportunity of an unfiltered taste of Red Dragon combined with sex would go for top dollar - and be very addictive, he wagered."
Giselda's ravaged, blood-drained body flashed in his mind. The idea of Denise going through something similar, and for decades or more, almost made Spade's control snap. Even if he hadn't needed to kill Black Jack out of defense, he would have slaughtered him anyway just for intending such a fate for Denise.
She rubbed her arms, reminding Spade how chilly it was during the early morning hours in the desert. He took off his jacket and slid it around her shoulders, but she jerked away.
"It's got blood all over it."
"Better his than yours," he countered, but took his jacket back. Stubborn woman. Ah, well. They shouldn't need to be out here much longer. Just long enough to make sure they hadn't been followed. None of the vampires Black Jack summoned felt like Masters, so they shouldn't be able to fly, but he didn't want to take any chances.
"I get now why you had to kill Black Jack," Denise said after a few silent minutes. "But I can't lie and say I'm okay with how murder seems to be the most common solution whenever there's a problem with vampires and ghouls."
"And humans," Spade replied at once. "You only need to watch the telly to see murder on the news every night. Violence isn't something the undead have a monopoly on. You could avoid vampires and ghouls for the rest of your life, but you'd still live in a world filled with violence."
"There's less violence in my world compared to yours," she insisted.
Spade sighed. "No, darling. There are only different reasons for it."
"Randy died because I brought him into your world. He'd be alive today if I hadn't exposed him to it!"
Her scent was splintered with pain, her voice choked with grief, guilt, and rage. Emotions Spade knew all too well.
"As I recall, Randy and Crispin were friends for six months before you even met him. Randy was already in this world before you knew him."
She turned away, but not before Spade saw the shine of tears in her eyes.
"It's my fault he died. I let him go upstairs alone, okay? I let him go by himself because I was a coward. If I'd gone with him, I could have watched his back. I could have warned him, given him a chance to run away - "
Spade grabbed her shoulders, holding them in a firm grip. "Seventeen vampires and ghouls died during that attack, some of them Masters. Those creatures were too strong, too fast. If you'd have gone up with Randy, you wouldn't have saved him. You would have only died with him."
Denise didn't try to push him away. She just stood there, head down, breathing coming in ragged sniffs.
"Then that's what I should have done. Randy died trying to save me. I should have done the same for him."
"You stayed below because you were smart. He died because he was foolish," Spade replied, ignoring her gasp at his pitiless analysis. Now he turned her around to face him. "He shouldn't have left your side. That's where he belonged. Not in the middle of a bloody zombie attack no human would have walked away from. Randy made the wrong decision and he died for it. That's how it goes. It's not fair, but life in either world isn't fair, is it?"
"How could you understand? You've never lost the person you loved because you just stood there," she said in a broken tone.
He laughed, long and bittersweet. No, he'd lost Giselda because he hadn't been fast enough. If he'd left a few hours sooner that morning, he would have been able to save her. And if she'd listened to him, she would never have been on that dangerous road in the first place. So close to the fighting, the area had been rife with deserters from Napoleon's army. He'd sent word to Giselda to wait so he could escort her to the chalet. She'd wanted to surprise him. Just one bad, well-intentioned decision, but it resulted in her rape and murder.
No, life wasn't fair in any world, human or otherwise.
"You have no idea how much I do understand."
She looked at him sharply, as if she were about to demand he elaborate. Spade waited. He never talked about Giselda, but he would to Denise, if she asked.
But she didn't question him further. She lowered her head, silently braced against the chill. Withdrawing into her shame just as he'd done all the years of the past long, lonely century and a half.
Comfort wouldn't help her. Neither would his pity. Only one thing had helped him pull back from the guilt and the grief.
"If you had that night to relive, would you still stay in the basement?"
Denise's head snapped up. "No. Not in a million years."
"Then you're no longer the same person," Spade said, his voice empty of emotion. "You've already proved that by taking more of the demon's essence instead of sacrificing one of your relatives. The woman before me is not the same one from that New Year's Eve. She might have failed, but you won't fail, will you?"
Denise stared at him, something hard and resolute growing in her eyes. "You bet I won't."
His admiration for her increased. It had taken him over a decade to have that same strength of will after his loss. Denise managed it in just over a year. Fresh determination coursed through him. He had to make her his. The battle to win her might be long, but was too important to surrender just because it wouldn't be easy.
"Are we going back to the hotel now?" Denise asked, her tears gone.