But then my phone buzzed.
And all the reasons I shouldn’t be kissing her came flooding back. I jerked free and stumbled back, a hand over my mouth. As if that would help remove the memory of how wonderful she tasted. “Fuck.”
She stiffened, her sapphire eyes going narrow. “No. Fuck you.” Flinging her hair over her shoulder, she headed for the dorms.
I ignored my phone and stumbled after her. “Wait. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry about what?” She spun around, arms akimbo and eyes blazing. “Sorry you kissed me again? Sorry you keep kissing me and then regretting it? Sorry you keep following me around?” She shoved my shoulders hard, but I didn’t move. Not much could move me anymore. “What’s your deal, anyway?”
I clenched my jaw. “The truth is, I don’t want to want you. I’m a Marine. I could be out of this place in days for all I know. And I barely know you, and yet I can’t stay away. That’s what I’m doing here. That’s why I keep coming back.”
Even if it is my job to follow you around.
“Why aren’t you supposed to want me?” Her eyes went wide and she pointed a finger at me. “Oh my God, you have a girlfriend. Don’t you?”
My heart stuttered to a stop before speeding up painfully. For a second, I thought she knew who I really was. For a second, I thought my cover had been blown. And I had been relieved. Maybe I needed to stop this game. Quit.
“No. I don’t.” I held my hands out to my sides, palms up. “I’m not a cheater.”
“Just a player.”
No, just a liar. “Pretty much. And I’m already committed to my work.”
She pressed her lips together. “The Marines.”
I wanted to correct her. Tell her it was my other job that was causing problems, but then she’d want more info. Info I couldn’t give her. “Right.”
She smoothed her hair. “So what are we supposed to do? Stop seeing each other?”
I couldn’t do that even if my job wasn’t to see her. I wanted to be with her, plain and simple; no matter how wrong it might be. “No. I can’t do that.”
“Then what do you want from me?” She tilted her head back and looked up at me, her lips soft and her eyes even softer. I wanted to kiss her again, but I held back. “You aren’t making any sense.”
“I want to…I want to teach you to surf, and ride on my bike, and be with you, but I can’t be with you.”
I cupped her cheek and kissed her forehead. Her lids drifted shut, and she swayed closer. It took all my control to not capture her lips. To not take what she so freely offered, but she didn’t realize who she offered her lips to. If she knew she would hate me.
More than I hated myself right now.
She held on to my biceps and gave me a small smile. “Friends?”
“Friends.”
She nodded and dropped her hold on me. I let her go, but it was hard. Way too f**king hard. “Then you can’t be mad if you see me kissing other guys. You can’t not want me, but not want me to be with someone else. That’s not fair.”
The hell it wasn’t.
“I can’t promise that.” I gritted my teeth. “I don’t make promises I can’t keep, and I don’t think I can keep that one.”
“Then at least promise you won’t lie to me anymore.” She canted her head. “Can you promise me that?”
I swallowed hard. “I can’t promise that either,” I managed to say. “But I can promise to do my best not to hurt you and to be a good friend.”
She gave me one last look and turned on her heel, leaving me behind. I followed her, even though I had been clearly dismissed. Yep. She was just like her father. “Would you rather I lie and say I’ll never tell you a lie? Who can promise that?”
“Honest people. That’s who.”
I laughed hard. “So you’ve never lied to me?”
She hesitated. I could see her recalling our time together, going over every conversation in detail. After licking her lips, she finally admitted, “No. I guess I can’t say that.”
“See?” Of course, I already knew all about the lies she’d told me. Every single one. “No one can promise that. People lie all the time, especially when it comes to little things.”
My phone buzzed again, but I ignored it. Hers buzzed too and she pulled it out. After quickly typing on her phone, she gave me her attention again. “Fine. You win.” Her phone buzzed again and she rolled her eyes. “What is he even doing up?”
“Who?” I asked, even though I knew who it was. I hadn’t answered his text soon enough, so he’d texted his daughter. The dude needed some form of medication and some serious help.
“My dad.” She stole a quick peek at me as she texted. “He’s kind of crazy protective.”
“No kidding.”
She snorted. “I wish I was kidding. It’s, like, after midnight there.”
“Where are you from?”
She froze, her fingers hovering over her iPhone screen. “Washington, D.C.”
“Nice.” I rocked back on my heels, slipping back into my role. It was time to play the part of interested friend again. Asking questions I already knew the answer to. “What does he do?”
“Oh, nothing too interesting.” She put her phone away and gave me a calculating stare. “Something to do with billing.”
Or making bills. “Oh, that sounds fun.”
“Not really,” she said, smiling. “It’s pretty boring. What do your parents do?”
“My mom died of cancer when I was sixteen.” I ignored the pang of pain I still felt at the loss. There was no use living in the past, and it would never go away. “My dad is in security.”
She placed a hand on my shoulder. “I’m so sorry for you loss. I can’t even imagine…”
I knew she was close with her mother. Much closer than she was to her father, who seemed determined to run her life for her, no matter how old she might be. “Thanks.”
“Can friends hug?”
“Hell yeah they can.”
She flung her arms around my neck, holding me close. For a second, my arms lingered at her hips, but then I let myself pull her close. I may have buried my face in her neck, but that was pure speculation I would deny even under torture if asked later.
She stepped back and grinned up at me. “So…surfing tomorrow?”