"Yes, you can," George said with a big smile.
"On what grounds?" Jennifer snarled.
"Incompetence. I'll cite this proceeding as evidence. This matter concerned two members of the wolf clan, which placed it under your authority. So either you didn't know how to deal with it, or you didn't want to deal with it, due to laziness or due to actively condoning rape. Either way, you should be removed and an investigation must be launched into the mating practices of the wolf clan."
"They'll find nothing," Daniel said.
"Five hundred wolves, of which there are probably at least what, a hundred and fifty couples? How do you think they'll react to having their mating rituals examined?"
"You can't do that!" Jennifer spun to Daniel. "She can't do that."
"Technically, she can," Daniel said. "It's over, Jennifer. You can't win this."
Jennifer's eyes went completely green. "What the hell would you even know about being an alpha? You're a human. The only reason you're here is because you're fucking Curran."
Nice. "I don't know much, but I'm learning fast." I rose. "And I'm here because I killed twenty-two shapeshifters in two weeks. I've earned my place. How many challenges did you have, Jennifer? Oh, that's right. None. Enlighten me, how did you become an alpha again?" I turned to Daniel. "Help me out here. Who was she fucking, Daniel? Was it you? It must be especially good for you, because that's the only way you'd have gone along with this for so long."
I barely saw Daniel move. One second he was standing there, loose, and the next he clamped Jennifer in a hug. It was a very careful hug--it looked gentle, but I could tell she couldn't move an inch.
"We apologize for any offense to the Consort. We meant no disrespect," he said.
"Apology accepted."
"Stop talking like I'm not here," Jennifer ground out.
"We look forward to working with you in the future," Daniel said. "With your leave?"
"Please. Have a pleasant evening." Daniel moved, and Jennifer moved with him. Together they walked out of the auditorium.
I waited until the door closed and fell into my chair. George stared at me. "Oh my freaking God. I can't believe she went that far."
I closed my eyes.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm tired. My knee is hurting again and I'm trying to teleport myself upstairs."
"Um, Kate, you can't do that."
"I know. But I'm trying very hard. Let me know if I start fading?"
Sadly, teleporting didn't work. I climbed the stairs, got into the shower, washed off the dirt and blood, and put on clean clothes.
The rooms felt empty without Curran. I stood in the doorway of the bedroom for a while and looked at the bed.
I didn't want it all to turn out to be one big lie.
A small part of me wanted to leave. Just leave now, without any explanations and disappointments. Disappear. That way if this was a lie, I'd never know.
But then I didn't run from my challenges. I met them straight on and bashed my head against them, until it left me hurt, bloody, and dazed.
I hugged myself. When I was with Curran, he filled the empty space. If I was sad, he'd make me laugh. If I was pissed off, he'd invite me to spar. I was forgetting what it was like to be on my own. And I was on my own. Aside from Roland, there wasn't another human being this screwed up for thousands of miles.
If tomorrow I woke up and Roland waited on the Keep's doorstep, I would die. Pretty quickly, too. Evdokia was right. I had all the training with the sword I would ever need, but when my father and I met, the fight wouldn't be decided by the sword. I needed magic training and a lot of it. And I had no idea how Curran would react to it. Hey, baby, you don't mind if I practice turning a vampire inside out on the Keep's grounds, do you? Please ignore the torturous screams of your people when things go horribly wrong.
It was one thing to know you had mated with Roland's daughter. It was another thing entirely to have your nose rubbed in it.
Ultimately, I didn't have to figure out whether Curran truly loved me. All I had to know was whether I loved him enough not to care why he was with me. I knew the answer. I just didn't want to admit it. If he called right now, hurt, I would find him and save him, even if it cost me my life, whether he loved me or not. This was all sorts of screwed up. No. I was wrong. If he was with me because he needed me to fight Roland, I had to leave. I couldn't stay here, sleep next to him in this bed, touch him, kiss him, knowing that he didn't truly love me but was bound by the need for survival. I would still love him, but I couldn't stay. Had he laid it out for me from the start, before I had a chance to fall in love, I might have joined forces with him anyway. I wouldn't have slept with Curran, but an alliance with the Pack would have strengthened me, and he and I might have gone for some sort of business arrangement. It was too late now. I wanted love or nothing.
I stole my pillow off the bed and curled up on the couch, wrapped in a spare blanket. Eventually he'd come home. Then we'd talk.
Chapter 13
THE ALARM WENT OFF AT SIX A.M., SIGNALING THE end of night and the absence of magic. My back and sides had decided to develop an ache overnight. I rolled off the couch, feeling every knot and snarl in my muscles, pulled on my sweats, and padded downstairs to the gym. Forty minutes later I felt much better. I still didn't know where Curran and I stood, but for now it couldn't be helped. I still had people to kill and a Doomsday Device to find.
I made the trip to the guard desk. "Any messages for me?"
Curtis, an older dark-haired werewolf, offered me two scraps of paper. "There is also a message from the Beast Lord, Consort. It's in your private box. You can access it from your quarters by dialing 1000."
He called but didn't talk to me. Chicken. "When did he call?"
"Twelve minutes past midnight."
"Why didn't you wake me up?"
Curtis looked uncomfortable. "He instructed us that you shouldn't be disturbed."
Should I be pissed off because he didn't want to talk to me or touched because he'd thought about letting me rest? I wasn't sure.
I glanced at the top scrap of paper. The message stated that the trackers had found Julie's scent on the outskirts of the city. At least she hadn't been kidnapped.
The second message had a number and a name. Roman.
I took my scraps of paper, headed upstairs, and dialed 1000. Curran's voice filled the room. "Hey. It's me."
I landed in the chair. Hearing him was like coming home in a downpour and finding the lights on and the house warm. I was in so deep, I couldn't even see the surface anymore.