The worry in her eyes touched him. Violet was starting to care for him, and that warmed Daniel better than the hottest fire.
“But I’m here, lass. I was meant to escape, because now I’m here with you.”
“And Jacobi’s going to take it away from me.” Her bleak look returned. “I’ve finally found a chance at happiness, however brief, and he won’t let me have it.”
“’Twill not be brief.” Daniel gathered Violet against him. “I promise you that. I’m a selfish bastard too.”
Violet closed her hands around the lapels of Daniel’s coat. “You say I’m brave, but I’m not at all. I don’t want to lose what little I’ve found.”
“Little? Trying to flatter me, are you?” Daniel pressed a kiss to the tip of her cold nose. “I told you I’d show you life, and I will. Taking the motorcar to the time trials is my excuse to go back to France. You’ll come with me. Not to skulk in a dull hotel while I hunt down your soon-to-be-former husband. We’ll work on testing the motorcar by day, and at night I will show you what it’s like to be the lady of Daniel Mackenzie. I’m going to woo you so hard you’ll run to shove my solicitors down Jacobi’s throat.”
A sparkle of her usual spirit returned to Violet’s eyes. Daniel was glad of it—he hated to see her so broken. “I will, will I?” she asked.
“You will, love. The motorcar will be finished in a few days, and then it’s off to Paris and the races.”
Violet’s hands tightened on his coat. “I don’t know. I thought I’d have more time to think about this.”
Daniel gentled his voice. “I know you did. But trust me, it’s best to face something head on, smash it, and move on with your life. Lingering and wondering, waiting and worrying . . . that kills you.”
Violet looked up at him. “Did that happen to you?”
“I was a boy who thought he was to blame for his mother’s death. It ate at me—I kept wondering what I’d done to make her want to kill me. I resented my father for not telling me sooner exactly how she’d died. I realize now I should have had it out with him and been finished with it. I didn’t understand that Dad had been hurting all those years same as me, and blaming himself. We wasted a lot of time.”
Violet nodded, not answering. She didn’t have to speak. She understood.
The wind slid in with its icy fingers. In the cold, Violet was a thing of warmth, softness to his hardness. Daniel held her closer, parting her lips in a kiss.
She tasted of the winter and the wind that pushed them. At the same time, Violet relaxed under Daniel’s hands, she leaning into him as though seeking refuge from the chill.
When Daniel eased back from the kiss, he saw the fear still in her eyes. Violet’s instinct to run was sharp. Running had been how she’d survived, but Daniel knew she’d only survive now if she stopped running.
He traced her cheek. “I’ll be with you, love. Every step of the way.”
Violet shivered. “I’m so afraid of going back. I never want to go back.”
“It’s not going back. Right now you’re stuck in a mire. This will be you fighting your way out and going on. Facing down Jacobi is moving forward, not back.”
Violet swallowed. The animal-like panic in her eyes flashed out then receded as she sought to suppress it. “You make me out to be stronger than I truly am.”
“You are stronger than you think.” Daniel cupped his hands around her elbows. “And don’t worry, sweet. I’ll be right beside you to make sure you don’t fall.”
Violet’s eyes softened, and Daniel bent down to kiss her again.
Mars chose that moment to rush them, bending himself around Violet’s legs and running into Daniel’s. Daniel’s knees gave, and Violet laughed.
“Bloody dog,” Daniel growled.
“It’s cold,” Violet said. “He wants us to keep moving.”
“Yes, all right, let me round up the dratted horse. Don’t laugh so hard. If she’s run for the barn, we have a long walk ahead of us.”
But Medusa hadn’t strayed. Daniel got himself into the saddle, then helped Violet climb up in front of him. She expressed surprise when Daniel didn’t turn at once for the house, but he continued the lesson, riding onward, holding Violet fast and not letting her fall.
The remaining days before their departure to Paris passed too quickly. Violet lay in her bed the last night in Berkshire, too warm under the covers in the overheated room.
Her sleeplessness came from fear, not discomfort, the old panic sharpening itself inside her. All very well for Daniel to say it was best to face Jacobi and her fears, that Violet would be strong when the time came.
She saw no reason why Daniel and his lawyers couldn’t take care of everything without her. She might have to sign papers of some sort, but she could do that in an office in London, couldn’t she?
But Daniel was immovable. Violet was going with him to Paris. She’d look upon Jacobi and spit at him, then they’d go win Daniel’s race.
Violet shuddered. If she saw Jacobi again, she wasn’t certain what she’d do. She might go into one of her panics. She might run from him while he laughed. Or worse, she might feel sorry for him and forgive him again. Jacobi had played upon her the same way she played upon her mother’s audiences. He might play upon her still.
But Daniel wouldn’t let any of this happen, would he? He’d be there, making certain all went well. He wanted her to face Jacobi as Violet the woman, not the terrified girl.
I’ll be with you, love. Every step of the way.
And then what? What would Daniel want from Violet after that? To be his lover? His wife?
Violet doubted the Duke of Kilmorgan, Hart Mackenzie, with his eagle eyes and penetrating stare, would allow Daniel to marry a lower-middle-class trickster from Southwark. Daniel was in line to inherit the dukedom, albeit after Hart’s two sons and Cameron, but tragic things could happen to entire families—illnesses, accidents. Daniel could be duke before he knew what happened. The Mackenzies might accept Violet if she would only ever be simple Mrs. Daniel Mackenzie, but perhaps not if there was a chance she’d become Duchess of Kilmorgan.
Violet rolled over and kicked off the covers again. The house was silent, the children having at last been herded to bed. Knowing that Violet and Daniel were to leave tomorrow, the little ones hadn’t wanted to settle down.