Her words slid over Elliot without him registering them, her musical voice soothing. He lay back and let her talk, realizing he’d not felt so at ease in a long while.
If I could listen to her forever, if I could drift into the night hearing her voice, I might get well again.
No, nothing would be well, never again, not after the things he’d seen and done, and what had been done to him. He’d thought that once he took refuge in Scotland again, it would stop. The dreams, the waking terrors, the utter darkness when time passed and he knew nothing of it. But it hadn’t, and he’d known he had to put the next part in his plan to work.
Juliana was studying him, her blue eyes clear like a summer lake. The beauty of her, the memory of those eyes, had sustained him for a long time in the dark.
Sometimes he’d dreamed she was with him, trying to wake him, her dulcet voice filling his ears. Come on, now, Elliot. You must wake up. My kite’s tangled in a tree, and you’re the only one tall enough to get it down.
He remembered the day when he’d first realized what he felt for her—they must both have been about sixteen. She’d been flying a kite for children of her father’s friends, and Elliot had come to watch. He’d retrieved the kite from a tree for her and earned a red-lipped smile, a soft kiss on his cheek. From that day forward, he’d been lost.
“Elliot, are you awake?”
His eyes had drifted closed on memories, and now Juliana’s voice blended with the remembered dream. He pried his eyes open. “I think so.”
“You did not hear me, did you?” Her face was pink in the dim light.
“Sorry, lass. I’m a bit drunk.”
“Good. Not that you’re drunk, but that you didn’t hear me. Never mind. It was a foolish idea.”
He opened his eyes wider, his brain coming alert. What the hell had he missed?
The darkness did that to him sometimes. Elliot could slide past large portions of conversation without noticing he had done so. He’d come back to himself realizing people were waiting for his response and wondering what was the matter with him. Elliot had decided that avoiding people and conversation was the best solution.
With Juliana, he wanted to know. “Tell me again.”
“I don’t think I ought. If it were a cracking-good idea, you’d have leapt on it at once. As it is…”
“Juliana, I swear to you…I drift in and out. I want to hear your cracking-good idea.”
“No, you don’t.”
Females. Even ones he’d been secretly in love with for years could drive him insane.
Elliot sat up and moved closer to her, his feet on the floor. He stretched his arm along the back of the pew, not touching her but close enough to feel her warmth. “Juliana, tell me, or I’ll tickle you.”
“I’m not eight years old anymore, Elliot McBride.”
He wanted to laugh at her haughty tone. “Neither am I. When I say tickle, I no longer mean what I did then.” He touched her bare shoulder with one finger.
A mistake. The contact shot heat up his arm and straight into his heart.
Her lips were close to his, lush and ripe. She had faint freckles across her nose, ten of them. She’d always had them, had always tried to rid herself of them, but to Elliot, every one was kissable.
Her eyes went still, and her voice was a whisper of breath. “What I asked, Elliot, was whether you would marry me.”
Chapter 2
Elliot sat still, his eyes as gray as winter skies and just as cold.
Juliana realized that, when she’d blurted her question, she’d been thinking of Elliot, the teasing, warm-eyed young man of her youth. This Elliot McBride was a stranger. His light hair had been cropped close, his face hard, and thin scars laced his cheek.
This Elliot had tracked and killed other men, had been captured and held prisoner for so long that they’d all feared him dead. The ten months he’d been missing had been the worst of Juliana’s life. He’d returned to his brother’s house for a time to recover, but Juliana had not seen him. He’d visited no one, had let no one visit him, and had disappeared back to India again.
“As I say, a foolish idea,” Juliana said quickly. “You look a bit green, Elliot, so never mind. I didn’t mean to frighten the life out of you. Return to your cozy doze.”
Elliot’s gaze flicked to the bare altar and back to her, his fingers at her back hot in this chill place. “Not so foolish. I think it a grand idea.”
“Truly, pretend I said nothing. You didn’t hear me the first time anyway.”
Elliot moved his hand to cup her shoulder through the satin, his strength rippling heat through her too-cold body. “I cannae pretend I didn’t hear the second time, lass.”
“Well, I take it back. I shall remove to my father’s house and start returning the gifts. I kept meticulous notes, as I always do. Gemma smiles at me for my lists and notes, but she will thank me for them now.”
Her smile was wide, her eyes too bright, and Elliot’s heart beat so hard he was surprised it didn’t echo in the quietness.
He wanted to charge out of the pew shouting for joy, tow Juliana back into the church, and command the minister to get on with the ceremony. His family and Juliana’s were residents of this parish, they were both of marriageable age, and there would be no impediment. He knew people who could issue a new license quickly, and it would be done.
Elliot had traveled to Edinburgh to find her today, to continue plans he’d put in motion. The interminable wait in the crowded church had started to unnerve him, so he’d slipped away to be alone in the chapel. A few sips of whiskey, and his tired body—he never rested well at night—had taken him to sleep.
To be awakened by the delicious weight of Juliana in her satin and tulle, the scent of roses, the sound of her voice. Yes. This was right.
“I won’t be going back to India,” he said. “I’ve purchased a house, th’ old McGregor estate about thirty miles north of Aberdeen. McGregor’s my great-uncle on my mother’s side, and was in need of a bit of cash. You might as well marry me and have the run of th’ place.”
Juliana still stared at him, her lips parted enough for him to want to taste the moisture between them. If she said no, or that she wanted to wait, he had more plans for that. Elliot might be mad, but he intended to be very, very persuasive.
“That’s a bit of a journey,” Juliana said, her voice faint.
“Aye.” Trains made traveling much easier these days, but even so, the north of the country was remote, a peaceful retreat against the noise. Elliot needed so much peace.