“Yeah, but at least she’s trying,” Rhiannon said, rubbing her ear. “You’ve gotta give her props for that, right?”
“Not the karaoke,” Ashley said. Then she cocked her head at another shrill note. “Okay, maybe the karaoke, too. But I meant the way I’m feeling right now.”
“I’d like to remind you I went down in the record books that this was a bad idea,” Rhiannon said, her voice soft even with the woman caterwauling in the background. “But now that I reminded you of that, I’ll hug you close and kiss it better.”
Ashley rolled her eyes when Rhiannon kissed the top of her head. “What am I? Four?”
“Kisses make anything better,” Rhiannon said, sighing with relief when the woman stopped singing. They both clapped half-assedly and then turned back to the bar. “Maybe that’s what you need. A kiss from a new, hotter guy. One that will make you forget all about Ethan.”
Ashley sighed. Even the thought of moving on felt…wrong. As if she’d be betraying him or something. What the heck was up with that? “Yeah, I don’t think so.”
“Not ready to hop back up on that man saddle yet?”
“Not yet.” She took another sip, then held her empty glass up to Brad, the bartender. He didn’t notice her, and another girl got up on the stage and sang about moving on from a sick, twisted love. “But I’ll recover. I mean, it was only a weekend, right? How long can such a short time affect me so much? We didn’t even really do anything besides have sex, talk, cuddle, and laugh. And when he held me, I felt safe, happy, and yet on edge at the same time, which doesn’t make much sense unless…” She drifted off, her eyes going wide before she flopped her forehead forward onto her folded arms. “Okay, yeah. I’m f**ked.”
“Finally figured it out, huh?” Rhiannon asked, rubbing her back in slow circles.
“Yeah, I think I did.” She lifted her head. “I fell in love with him, didn’t I? That’s why I feel all weepy and shaky now that he’s gone. I miss him because I love him.”
Rhiannon nodded. “I think so, yeah.”
Well, crap. She hadn’t wanted this. Hadn’t wanted to be left behind feeling empty and confused. But it’s what she’d gotten. And here she’d thought she just missed him. No, she freaking loved the guy. “What am I supposed to do with that?”
“You could go after him.”
She stiffened and shook her head. “I can’t. I chased after him back in high school and the rejection nearly crushed me. And what I felt then wasn’t nearly as intense as what I feel now. I refuse to be that girl. If he wanted to be with me, he would have stayed.”
“Maybe he just needs a good kick in the ass to make him see how stupid he’d being?”
Ashley snorted. “I don’t think that’ll do anything.” Ashley watched Brad closely. He still hadn’t brought her more wine and man…she needed it, like, yesterday. “I’m not forcing anyone to do what they don’t want to do. He doesn’t want to be with me.”
“Did you tell him you loved him?” Rhiannon asked.
“No, because I just figured it out.” Ashley played with her empty glass, glowering down at it. “And even if I had the chance, I wouldn’t tell him. He wanted a string-free weekend. I’m not tying him down with my stupid feelings.”
“But—”
Ashley shook her head. “No buts. It’s over, and he’s gone.”
“But—” Rhiannon broke off. “Uh, never mind.”
Ashley waved Brad over, and he held a finger up to her. She rested her chin on her hand. “Realized you’re beating a dead horse?”
“Uh, yeah. Something like that,” Rhiannon mumbled, fishing in her purse until she brandished a red lip gloss. “Here, put this on. You look like hell warmed over.”
“Gee, thanks. I love you, too.”
“Put it on,” Rhiannon snapped, shoving it closer.
“God. Fine.” Ashley blinked at her but took the gloss. “But why the hurry?”
“Just do something without arguing for once?” Rhiannon pleaded. “And be quick about it, for the love of God.”
Ashley narrowed her eyes on her best friend and twisted the lid off. “I’ll be your wingman if you want, but I’m not going home with anyone tonight.”
“Are you so sure about that?” A deep voice asked. A voice Ashley recognized better than her own. “Because I’ve been watching you, and I was hoping I could buy you a drink.”
Ashley froze with the lip gloss pressed to the middle of her lower lip, not turning around to face him. What the hell was he still doing here, and what did he want? Another few days with her, maybe?
Well, she wasn’t interested. Not anymore.
She swallowed hard and closed the lip gloss with shaking hands, blotting her lips together and tilting her head at Rhiannon. She took the hint and buzzed off, leaving her and Ethan alone. “You do realize you’re hitting on me again, right? Or is this another accidental flirtation, where I reminded you of me?”
He chuckled. “I know who you are, Ashley. This time, anyway.”
“Lucky me,” she drawled. But her heart was racing at light speed. She still didn’t face him. If she looked at him, she’d be lost. “I thought you left.”
He shifted closer. So close she could feel his heat behind her. She closed her eyes, forcing herself not to lean back on him. “I was going to. I almost did. I even made it all the way to the airport. But then…well, I didn’t board my flight. I’m not ready to leave yet.”
She clenched her teeth, the pain piercing her chest. So her suspicions were right, then. He wanted a little bit more time with her, and she wanted forever. Not freaking fair. “I don’t need a drink. As a matter of fact, I just might go home now. Alone.”
“Wait.” He caught her hand, squeezing her fingers tight. “Don’t leave.”
“I’m done listening to crappy karaoke,” Ashley said, her voice ringing out way too loud because the girl that had been singing just finished. Ashley’s cheeks heated when a few people turned at her and glared. “Sorry. So sorry,” she said to the couple closest to her. “Yeah. I’m so leaving.”
She grabbed her purse and stood, but Ethan stepped in her way. And she finally looked at him. Big mistake. He wore a green sweater and a pair of khakis, and his dark brown hair was a mess—as if he’d been running his fingers through it all day long. His chocolate eyes were locked on hers, softer than usual, and he had bags under his eyes.