My head throbbed and my vision went static. My chest felt like it would collapse under the pressure. My heart shriveled and blackened like a piece of coal.
Before I could react, Adam spun around and slammed out of the apartment. The ensuing silence felt like a verdict. Pussy Willow and Georgia wouldn’t meet my gaze. And Giguhl moaned and rocked with guilt in the corner.
All the fight left me. I collapsed into a nearby chair. Numb shock descended to protect me from reality. I suppose I should have seen this coming. Who had I been kidding to think I could hide a lie of that magnitude from Adam?
“Sabina?” Georgia said softly. She knelt by my side. “What can I do?”
I couldn’t speak. If I opened my mouth I’d start screaming and never stop.
Giguhl rushed over to join the vampire. “Red, I’m so f**king sorry.”
I swallowed the panic rising in my throat. Pussy Willow answered for me. “It’s not your fault, Gigi. Sabina should have told him herself months ago.”
Giguhl shot the faery a hateful look. “Hey! She doesn’t need to hear that right now.”
PW crossed her arms and glared at the demon. “You always take her side!”
“I do not,” he argued. “Besides, I’m the one who told her not to tell him. Then I went and opened my big mouth.” He hit his head with the heel of his claw. “Idiot!”
Georgia stood and addressed both of them. “That’s enough, you guys. Pointing fingers is a waste of time.”
“I’m not pointing fingers.” PW shrugged. “Simply stating facts.”
“You can take your facts and shove them up your ass!” Giguhl said. “If you can’t be supportive to Sabina, maybe you should leave!”
PW gasped and started yelling at the demon. Giguhl, naturally, yelled back. But I was so lost in my shock I couldn’t understand them. Their words hit the air and then scattered like black confetti.
Finally, Georgia put her fingers to her lips and executed an eardrum-shattering whistle. It jerked me out of my trance and shocked PW and Giguhl into silence.
“Now that I have your attention,” the vampire said, “I have a couple of things to say. First, Giguhl and PW, get a hold of yourselves. Right now we need to be supporting Sabina.” She turned to me. “As for you, snap out of it. You’re the one always saying surrender is never an option. If you want Adam, you have to go after him.”
I sighed deeply. The air stabbed my lungs like shards of glass. “What’s the point? You heard him. He can’t even stomach being in the same room as me right now. Even if I knew what to say, he wouldn’t listen.” I sat up straighter. “Besides, aren’t you being a little hypocritical?”
She tensed. “What?”
“You could have fought for Mac, but instead you gave up and are planning on running back to New Orleans.”
She crossed her arms. “That isn’t the same thing at all—”
“Bullshit,” Giguhl coughed into his claw.
“Hey!” she protested. “Mac chose her kin over me. I know when I’m beat. But you have a chance to make this right.”
“So do you,” I countered. I knew I was harping on Georgia, but it was a lot easier than talking about my issues. “Maybe once Michael calms down he’ll listen to reason, too. Despite his Alpha ways, he cares about Mac. If we can talk to him and convince him that marrying her off will make her unhappy, maybe he’ll listen.”
She hesitated. “I don’t know—”
“Listen, forget the lie for a moment. She doesn’t deserve what Michael’s planning. If you love her, you’ll help her. She doesn’t have anyone else right now.”
Georgia’s face fell. She didn’t speak, but I got the feeling I was wearing her down. “How about we make a deal? You promise to go with me to talk to Michael, and I’ll promise I’ll try with Adam.”
Her eyebrow went up. “When?”
“Tomorrow night. You and I can go see Michael just after sundown. That should give him enough time to calm down.”
“And Adam?” she asked.
I sighed and sat back in the chair. “I don’t know.”
“He has to come back here at some point.” Giguhl shrugged.
“I guess.” I honestly wasn’t sure what I’d say if he walked back through that door in a couple of hours. But Georgia was right. I couldn’t let everything we had together dissolve because I made a dumb mistake. We were supposed to be stronger than that.
“What if they won’t listen?” Pussy Willow asked. “What will you both do then?”
The promise of a challenge made Georgia’s vampire instincts flare to life. A small smile lifted her lips, flashing a little fang. “We’ll make them listen.”
Adam didn’t come home that night.
I lay alone in our bed staring at the ceiling well past sunrise. I guess I was naive to hope he’d return to the scene of the crime so soon.
Probably, he’d crashed at Rhea’s. The idea of my mentor finding out what I’d done made my already tight stomach knot painfully. Even if I could somehow manage to make things right with Adam, Rhea wouldn’t be so easily won over. She was protective of her blood. The fact that we’d grown so close over the last several months wouldn’t matter more than her connection with Adam.
I sighed and turned over. The movement ruffled the sheets and stirred up Adam’s sandalwood scent. I grabbed his pillow and hugged it to me. Closing my eyes, I let the tears fall. I’d put on a brave front for everyone earlier. But the truth was, I didn’t know how to fix this.
Since the first time I met Adam, I knew our relationship would end badly. With me involved, how could it go any other way? I’d fought being with him for so long because I knew I’d never be good enough for him. And if I were being honest with myself, maybe on some level I held this secret close to my vest, knowing that it would come back eventually. Maybe in some sick way it was my way of controlling how the end happened.
But even though I’d been expecting this all along, it still hurt like hellfire.
However, I’d always believed pain was my friend. In a fight, it told me I was still alive. And in love, it told me I still cared. Which meant I’d swallow my pride and beg him to forgive me, if that’s what it took.
My fatalism about love might have turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy, but I’d never put too much stock in prophecies anyway.